You Are a Human Being, Not a Human Doing | Dr. Elisabeth Tomlin copertina

You Are a Human Being, Not a Human Doing | Dr. Elisabeth Tomlin

You Are a Human Being, Not a Human Doing | Dr. Elisabeth Tomlin

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In this Season 5 episode of The 3 Parallels Podcast, Dr. Jason Branch sits down with Dr. Elisabeth Tomlin, a colleague, friend, and kindred spirit he has known for more than a decade, for a conversation about the one competition most high achievers never think to enter: you versus your own perfectionism. The episode is built around a reframe Liz offers that names the wound most overachievers carry without language for it: we have been trained to be human doings instead of human beings. Slowing down is not doing less. It is learning to be present. And for anyone who has spent years confusing their worth with their output, this conversation is the permission slip they did not know they needed.

Dr. Branch and Liz trace their friendship back to its origin: a shared look across a conference room that communicated, before either of them spoke, a mutual recognition of two people willing to question the status quo, challenge the rules of the spaces they occupied, and refuse to fit a mold that was never built for them. From there the conversation moves into Liz's own story of growing up feeling the need to accomplish, contribute, and be useful to feel worthy, and the childhood experiences, family dynamics, cultural expectations, and systems that reward constant achievement that shaped that belief. She names her high school teacher Joan Cecil as the person who first introduced her to frameworks for understanding gender, racism, class, and power, and who planted the early breadcrumb toward a lifetime of curiosity, cultural humility, and the courage to keep asking. Together they explore perfectionism, self-compassion, privilege, identity, and what it actually looks like to show up authentically in spaces that often reward the performance of expertise over the honesty of not knowing.

This episode is for the high performer who has never stopped long enough to ask whether what they are chasing is something they actually want, or something they were trained to want. It is for the helping professional who knows how to take care of everyone else but has confused busyness with worth. And it is for anyone ready to enter the Season 5 competition that matters most: you versus the version of yourself that has been performing instead of being. Dr. Branch and Liz send listeners away with three challenges: catch yourself performing and ask who you are trying to prove yourself to, practice ten minutes of presence each day without an agenda, and choose to show up as your authentic self in one area where you have been performing instead.
Life Work
  1. Catch Yourself Performing: This week, notice one moment when you feel the need to prove your worth, earn approval, or be everything to everyone. Pause and ask: Who am I trying to prove myself to?
  2. Practice Being Present: Slow down for 10 minutes each day. Put the work, responsibilities, and expectations aside. Be present without feeling like you have to accomplish something.
  3. Choose Personhood Over Performance: Identify one area of your life where you feel pressure to perform. Practice showing up as your authentic self instead of the version you think others expect.


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