Send us Fan Mail

You know the material. You’ve done the work. You may even be the most knowledgeable person in the room.

So why do you suddenly get nervous when the stakes go up?

Sometimes it isn’t a preparation problem. It’s because you quietly took on a second job.

The real job is to communicate clearly, answer the question and help the room make a good decision. The second job is managing what everyone thinks about you: Make sure I look smart. Don’t get caught without an answer. Don’t let them see me struggle.

Dale calls that second job The Grade.

In this episode of The Presence Lab, Dale examines the psychology behind why capable leaders can become more anxious, defensive and self-conscious when they feel evaluated. You’ll learn why wanting to perform well is different from trying not to look bad, how self-evaluation steals attention from the room, and why a five-word answer like “I don’t know. I’ll find out” can become surprisingly difficult under pressure.

Dale also examines two recent real-world examples, including Flock Safety CEO Garrett Langley’s response to questions about misuse of the company’s license-plate-reader network and Georgia Tech head coach Brent Key’s response after a difficult loss, to show the difference between defending your reputation and defending the work.

You’ll leave with three practical moves:

1. Name the second job before you enter the room.
2. Ride sweep by asking, “What does this room need from me in the next twenty minutes?”
3. Grade the work, not yourself after the meeting.

Plus, Dale gives you a simple test for your own high-pressure answers: What did that sentence defend, the mechanism, the recommendation, or me?

Get the free two-page The Grade Field Guide at daledixonmedia.com/grade.

Join The Presence Lab community at daledixonmedia.com/community.

If this episode gives you language for something you’ve experienced, follow The Presence Lab and send it to someone who does high-stakes work.

Support the show