Is it still "support" if you're trying to change how your partner expresses and explores their gender?

In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell are joined by the talented Rae Hill, a nonbinary advocate, educator, designer, and founder of Origami Customs.

Together, they read two Reddit posts about gender exploration, fashion, attraction, and what it actually means to support your partner during a transition…spoiler: it's not turning them into your personal makeover project.

Highlights of the episode:

• Binders, gaffs, and gender-affirming clothing 101

• A relationship that's somehow 80% "just friends" but still dating?

• A rant about how boxy, beige, and boring "androgynous" clothes are

• A reminder that gender-affirming care is for everyone!

If you've ever felt weird in your clothes, frustrated by gendered fashion, or you know someone who could use you as their hype person, this one's for you. And as a reminder, don't be afraid to put on the damn skirt!

Who is Rae Hill?

Rae Hill (they/them) is a nonbinary advocate and educator. They founded Origami Customs, a community advocacy program and clothing line for folks of all genders, bodies, and abilities. Origami Customs creates custom gender-affirming garments and works with organizations worldwide to provide free gaffs, binders, and education to people facing access barriers.

Time Stamps

00:00 - Welcome to Do As We Say, Not As They Did

01:33 - Episode guest: Rae Hill, founder of Origami Customs

02:17 - What is Origami Customs

04:00 - Binders, gaffs, and gender affirming garments

05:13 - Binding and tucking safety

13:22 - Gender affirming care is for everyone

17:30 - Reddit post #1: "My partner is genderfluid, and their fashion sense is stressful"

24:32 - The pronoun choices are telling

26:09 - Attraction, transphobia, and respectability politics

30:53 - Let someone love this person properly

39:07 - The fear of losing relationships when you come out as trans

42:09 - Why does it matter what your partner wears?

48:07 - Hype your partner up!

56:31 - Update: they're still together, but the plot thickens

59:12 - Why trans community and mentorship matter

01:01:15 - Reddit Post #2: "Why are androgynous clothes so boring?"

01:02:01 - Why does androgynous usually mean thin, white, and male?

01:09:14 - Gendered clothing categories make no sense

01:15:36 - Limited gender expression hurts everyone

01:21:12 - Fascism and fashion

01:26:31 - Ethical queer fashion, clothing costs, and censorship

01:33:01 - Where to find Rae, Harris, and Liz

Connect with Rae and Origami Customs:

https://origamicustoms.com/

https://www.instagram.com/origamicustoms/

https://www.youtube.com/@origamicustoms

https://www.facebook.com/origamicustoms

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