Ever leave a therapy session looking totally fine, then spend the next three days clenching your jaw, snapping at everyone, and wondering if you’re just bad at therapy? Or find yourself completely checked out mid-session with no idea how long you’ve been gone?

In this episode, I answer two listener questions about feeling worse after EMDR and dissociating in therapy sessions. We talk about why therapy can stir so much up when you have complex trauma (CPTSD), the difference between being stirred up and being flooded, and what an EMDR session for complex trauma looks like in my office. That includes pacing, preparation, working with parts, and closing a session so you can actually leave inside your window of tolerance.

We also cover:

• Why “looking fine” in therapy is a survival strategy
• Why self-blame was protective when you were a kid
• The different kinds of dissociation and what each one needs
• What to do between sessions when you’re flooded
• Signs therapy is working, even when it’s hard
• Exactly what to say to your therapist when you need something different

Many of the metaphors in this episode, including the boat and the whale, the barn door, and brakes on a car, come from Thomas Zimmerman’s book EMDR With Complex Trauma, which I highly recommend: EMDRwithComplexTrauma.com

Mentioned in this episode

• The Dissociative Spectrum episode
• The Beauty and the Work of Complex Trauma Recovery with Thomas Zimmerman
• My functional freeze episode

Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast!

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Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy

This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.

The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.