Drinking, stress, and the nervous system’s role in the stop/start cycle...

On January 1, 2019, I told myself I was done drinking.

By January 4, I said fuck it and drank.

In this episode, I share the truth about the year my drinking quietly became a problem I couldn’t ignore, not through a dramatic rock bottom, but through a slow erosion of self-trust, safety, and standards.

I talk honestly about drinking every night, blackouts, and making decisions I wouldn’t make sober. About grief, stress, and why willpower alone kept me stuck in a stop/start cycle for years. And about the moment I realized alcohol wasn’t the real craving, relief was.

This conversation isn’t just about drinking.

It’s about why change is so hard to sustain, even when we want it bad.

I explore:

• Why the stop/start cycle is so common, especially for women
• How stress and the nervous system shape our capacity for change
• Why we default to comfort and familiarity, even when it hurts
• Why “just don’t drink” fails without regulation and support
• What actually changed when I quit drinking in January 2020, and why it finally held

Our nervous systems are wired for survival, not success.
So real change doesn’t come from trying harder, it comes from feeling safe enough to stay.

If you’re navigating change of any kind, drinking, boundaries, relationships, work, or rest, this episode is an invitation to understand yourself with more compassion and less blame.

Ways to continue the work:

🔁 Ongoing support: The Deliberate Practice — a steady rhythm of nervous system regulation, breathwork, and integration.

Free: The Complete Guide to Quitting Drinking .. a nervous-system-based guide for understanding cravings, stress, and stop/start cycles.

🧭 Personalized clarity: The Personal Power Map — a personalized nervous system and identity audit with a video walkthrough.

Explore everything at thedeliberateone.com
Connect on Instagram @thedeliberateone

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