Can Aaron run a marathon? Is Alex an Empath? Do either of us have an accurate conception of what we’re capable of? The answers to all of these are no, but you can listen to us anyway as we make arguments for our toxic traits.

Do you have any idea how dominant Joey Chestnut is in the world of competitive eating? Do you understand how much training it takes to reach his level of performance? Well strap in, because you're about to learn all about it. Oh, also we talk nut dragging. That too.

Saying babies are cute is all fine and good. Saying that's the cutest baby you've ever seen? Now that opens up a whole can of worms implying a scale of comparatively uglier babies. We don't think the world is ready for that just yet.

TV show pitch: cop procedural drama, the Bronx, NYC. Word around the precinct is that the old timer, Alex, has a real knack for solving any crime put across his desk. The kicker? He has to lick the entire crime scene head to toe. It's called: Devious Lick.

Has anyone considered that the founding fathers signed the Declaration of Independence, not as a foundation of democracy, but simply because they were a bunch of earth signs in a silly goofy mood?

You read that right. Mayochup. Yes, it's a licensed combination of mayo and ketchup. Perhaps this has always been the darkest timeline.

Fun fact: 8 mile is actually the first movie in a time traveling franchise where a rapping cow decides that present day rappers just aren't cutting it and he needs to rap battle historical figures. Yes, Eminem is still in it, but it's not about him. Yes, we will be taking questions.

We're finally back! After a bit of a break, we jump right back into the craziness that you all know and love. We cover Remy Buxaplenty, conspiracy theories, Nickelback, and much more!