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Destructive anger in ADHD kids is one of the most misunderstood, shame-loaded experiences parents face. The advice most families are given — harsher consequences, bigger punishments, “making it stop” — often makes these episodes happen more often, not less.

In this episode, Apryl and Dr. Brian walk through what’s actually happening in the ADHD brain during these moments — and the system that helps families stop the cycle without becoming permissive or powerless.

Thoughts parents have that this episode answers

• “If I don’t punish this hard, am I raising a future adult who can’t control themselves?”
• “Why does my kid destroy things over something so small?”
• “Nothing works — consequences, lectures, taking things away.”
• “Am I being too soft… or am I missing something?”

You’re not weak for asking those questions. You’re responding to a nervous system problem with tools that were never designed for ADHD brains.

What This Episode Walks You Through

1. Why logic disappears during ADHD anger explosions

• What’s happening in the amygdala vs. the prefrontal cortex
• Why reasoning, lecturing, and threats cannot work in the moment
• The difference between knowing better and being able to do better

2. The system that reduces destructive behavior over time

• How to interrupt explosions before they happen
• Why antecedents matter more than consequences
• The “positive opposite” strategy that teaches replacement behaviors

3. Consequences that teach — without escalating the fire

• Why harsh punishment increases aggression and dysregulation
• What accountability looks like for ADHD kids
• How small, boring, predictable consequences actually stick

4. How this changes for teenagers

• Why dignity, privacy, and agency matter more as kids get older
• How to collaborate instead of control
• What repair sounds like after the storm — without shaming

5. What teachers can do to prevent public blowups

• Simple classroom strategies that protect regulation and self-esteem
• How to intervene quietly before the explosion
• Why predictability lowers threat for ADHD students

Why this approach works when others fail

Most parenting advice treats explosive anger as a behavior problem.
This episode treats it as a nervous system overload — and responds with strategies that work with ADHD brains instead of against them.

This isn’t permissive parenting.
It isn’t “being soft.”
It’s strategic, research-aligned, and focused on building skills your child will carry into adulthood.

Want to go deeper?

• Share this episode with a partner, teacher, or caregiver who needs the full picture
• Subscribe so you don’t miss the next episode on repairing after blowups
• Leave a review — it helps other ADHD families find support that actually helps

You’re not failing.
You’re learning a different way to lead — because you have a different kid.