What exactly is a couples recovery program? What happens at a couples recovery meeting? And what should you expect if you're considering attending one for the first time?

In this episode of Recovering Us, Sandra and Dan take listeners inside their experience with Recovering Couples Anonymous (RCA) and explain what couples recovery actually looks like. They share how finding the program became a pivotal part of their own relationship recovery after years of hurt, dysfunction, and uncertainty about whether their relationship could survive.

The episode is designed to demystify the process for couples who may have heard of 12-step programs like Alcoholics Anonymous or Al-Anon but aren't familiar with a recovery program specifically designed for couples.

Sandra and Dan explain who couples recovery is for, how to find a meeting, what different types of meetings are available, and what actually happens once you join one. They also share what it was like attending their very first meeting — including why simply listening was enough when Sandra wasn't yet ready to speak.

The couple discusses the different formats available, including telephone, online, in-person, and hybrid meetings, as well as the fact that some meetings are specifically intended for particular groups of couples. They explain that couples generally attend together, particularly when first joining a meeting, but that participants can choose how much they share and aren't required to speak immediately.

A major focus of the episode is why these meetings feel safe. Sandra and Dan explain concepts such as anonymity, confidentiality, no crosstalk, speaking from personal experience, and avoiding "taking your partner's inventory." Rather than telling another couple what they should do, members share their own experience, strength, and hope.

They also talk about one of the biggest shifts they've experienced through the program: moving away from focusing on what's wrong with their partner and instead asking, "What's my role in this?" This change helped them take greater responsibility for their own behavior and approach relationship problems as someth