What if you don’t feel that immediate rush of love after your baby is born?

In this episode, Dr. Becky sits down with writer and mom Ruthie Ackerman to talk about something many parents experience—but almost no one says out loud: what if the bond doesn’t come right away?

Ruthie shares what those early weeks actually felt like for her—watching her husband connect easily with their baby while she wondered, Will I ever feel this? She opens up about the quiet fears, the self-doubt, and the stories she told herself about what it meant.

Together, they unpack:

• Why bonding doesn’t always happen instantly (and why that’s more common than you think)
• How anxiety and expectation can make it harder to feel what’s already there
• The pressure of “natural” parenting—and what happens when things don’t feel natural at all
• How connection can build slowly, in small, everyday moments

This conversation is a reminder that there is no single “right” way to become a parent—and no timeline your feelings have to follow.

Ruthie Ackerman's book is called The Mother Code: My Story of Love, Loss, and the Myths That Shape Us.

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Thank you to our partners for making this episode possible:

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