In this episode, I explore the strange social vertigo that can follow life in a high-control group, why authentic connection often feels riskier than performance, and how we can shift from to less theater, more improv.

Along the way, I share a few stories from my own attempts to navigate life without a script—some insightful, some awkward, and at least one involving psychedelics and questionable decision-making.

Another underdeveloped muscle in former cult members: Discernment

The cult taught us that every thought and action falls into a neat little black and white category of right and wrong, regardless of the situation.

And what a shock... turns out that's not actually the way the world works, and it can be quite difficult to leave that warm snuggly feeling of certainty behind.

Fear not my friends, because letting go of certainty is the start of developing discernment, which is an infinitely more useful way of approaching the inherent instabilities of life.

We start by confirming what you already suspect: If you were raised in a cult or high control religion, you are most certainly not normal, and will most likely never achieve the status of such.

We follow up with all the reasons "normal" is a shit thing to aim for, and why the road less traveled is often the most alive

A whole episode devoted to the feeling of being ghosted (transitive style) and how to sort through that grief

One of the worst things you could be in a cult is selfish.

Pursue a career? Selfish.
Go to college? Selfish.
Skip a meeting because you're too exhausted to feign interest? Selfish.

When you're handed the grandiose mission of saving the human race from Armageddon, even a tiny spark of personal joy starts to feel like a moral failure.

But now you're out. You survived. And for the first time, you can do anything you want.

The only problem?
You've never been allowed to want anything for yourself. It feels weird. It feels wrong. You feel guilty.

(Which, of course, is by design.)

In this episode, we're going to deconstruct and recalibrate the idea of "selfish"—and explore why taking care of your own needs isn't just okay… it's essential. For your healing, and for the people you love.

We'll cover:

• How high-control religion weaponizes "selflessness" to keep you obedient

• Why everything we do—including "selfless" acts—is actually motivated by self-interest (and that's not a bad thing)

• The beautiful irony: how prioritizing your joy makes you more generous, more grounded, and more whole

This is your permission slip to want things, try things, and be a little gloriously selfish—for your own sanity, healing, and yes, the joy of eventually giving back from a full cup.

DrRyanLee.com/beyondbelief

Don't come back until you've tried em all

From time to time we all get sucked into the sunken place of depression, and some of us sink deeper than others. Until recent year, I'd been in and out of the clinical depression hole most of my life. Today, I walk you through the fool proof blueprint I mapped out myself to climb out of that hole every single time, one I have walked many clients through successfully.

If you're struggle-bussing, this blueprint will get you out of the hole, and if you're not, it'll keep you out

More spiritual food to choke on... at the proper time