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What if the freedom you're looking for isn't just about quitting porn, but reaching a point where you no longer feel the need to turn to it?

For years, I was chasing happiness in all the places I thought I was supposed to find it. Success, relationships, sex, pleasure. On the outside, things seemed to be going well. But privately, I was struggling with porn addiction and a growing sense that something was missing.

I remember reaching a point in college when I started questioning everything. If I was getting the things I wanted, why wasn't I happy? And if I kept living this way, would I ever be?

That question eventually led me to meditation, Buddhist philosophy, and a completely different understanding of what it means to live a fulfilling life.

In this special reshare from Thriving with Addiction, I join host Dr. John Avery to talk about that journey, the role shame played in keeping my struggles hidden, and what I've learned about genuine freedom in recovery.

In this episode, we explore:

• How early experiences of sexual shame can teach us to hide behaviors rather than understand them, creating patterns that follow us into adulthood
• Why addressing the underlying craving for relief matters more than focusing exclusively on porn or any single addictive behavior
• What years of silent meditation retreats taught me about experiencing uncomfortable emotions without immediately escaping them
• Why finding a nonjudgmental community can be more effective than relying on motivation alone, especially when the initial excitement of quitting wears off
• What Buddhists call the bliss of blamelessness, and why living without secrecy can bring a deeper sense of peace than simply maintaining a streak

One of the most encouraging things I've experienced is that recovery doesn't have to feel like an endless fight. With time and practice, the urges that once seemed impossible to resist can become less frequent and easier to navigate.

If you're somewhere on that journey, I hope this conversation reminds you that there's more to recovery than just stopping a behavior. There's an entire life waiting to be lived.

Timestamps

00:00 Opening: How Shame and Addiction Begin

01:15 Introducing the Conversation With Dr. John Avery

02:20 The Unhooked App

03:14 Unhooked Podcast Introduction

03:53 Dr. John Avery Introduces Jeremy

04:35 Jeremy's Life in Thailand

05:21 How My Porn Addiction Started

07:06 Why Porn Became an Emotional Escape

09:00 Sexual Shame and Mixed Messages

10:11 Understanding the Root of Addiction

11:33 The Moment I Questioned My Happiness

13:17 How Buddhist Philosophy Changed My Perspective

15:23 Silent Retreats and Becoming a Buddhist Monk

17:33 Learning to Work With Cravings

19:47 Breaking the Silence Around Porn Addiction

21:54 The First Time I Publicly Shared My Story

24:30 Talking About Pornography and Children

26:16 Mindfulness and Emotional Regulation

27:53 Rebuilding Relationships and Intimacy

29:15 Why Community Matters in Recovery

31:39 The Unexpected Benefits of Quitting Porn

34:15 Inside Unhooked Academy

35:05 Why Shame Keeps Addiction Alive

36:24 Closing Thoughts

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co

Learn more about Unhooked Academy: https://unhookedacademy.com

This conversation originally aired on Thriving with Addiction.

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co

🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

This week, I'm bringing back one of my favorite episodes because its message is just as relevant today as when I first recorded it.

You've decided to quit porn. You're feeling motivated, you've set your goals, and you're ready to change. But then an urge hits, and suddenly all that determination feels a lot harder to hold on to.

What do you actually do in that moment?

In this rebroadcast of Unhooked, I break down eight practical strategies for dealing with cravings, including how to make urges less likely to arise and what to do when they show up anyway.

One of the biggest mistakes people make in recovery is relying entirely on willpower. But lasting change isn't about fighting every urge that comes your way. It's about creating an environment that supports your goals while developing the ability to experience cravings without automatically acting on them.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• How to identify your personal triggers and change the routines that keep pulling you back toward porn
• Why simple changes to your environment, including where you keep your phone, can make recovery easier
• How mindfulness creates space between experiencing an urge and choosing what to do next
• What urge surfing is and how to practice it without fighting or suppressing your cravings
• When to use physical movement, cold showers, or support from another person to get through a difficult moment

The goal isn't to spend the rest of your life avoiding temptation. It's to build the freedom to choose how you respond, even when an urge is strong.

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co

Learn more about Unhooked Academy: https://unhookedacademy.com

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co

🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

What happens when something you turn to for pleasure slowly starts shaping the way you see yourself, your relationships, and the world around you?

In this reshare from Wake Up with Marci, I sit down with Marci Hopkins to share a part of my own story that changed the direction of my life.

On the outside, things were going well. I had good grades, friends, and plenty of opportunities ahead of me. But privately, I was struggling with porn addiction, constantly chasing pleasure, and becoming increasingly dissatisfied with what I already had.

Then one day, walking down the street in my early twenties, I had a realization that scared me. I could suddenly see the kind of man I was becoming, and I knew I didn't want that future.

That moment led me to question everything I thought I knew about happiness, fulfillment, and what it actually means to be free.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why porn can be especially difficult to quit, including the three factors that make it so accessible and habit-forming
• How to recognize the difference between toxic shame that keeps you hiding and healthy remorse that helps you change
• What I learned about happiness and neuroplasticity through Buddhist philosophy, and how it changed my approach to recovery
• Why trying to empty your mind during meditation can actually reinforce self-judgment, and what to practice instead
• What partners often misunderstand about porn addiction, and why understanding the behavior doesn't mean excusing the harm it causes

If you've ever wondered why changing a behavior can feel so difficult, or why getting what you want doesn't always make you happy, I think you'll find something valuable in this conversation.

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co

🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/

Timestamps:

00:00 Jeremy's Story: When Porn Addiction Became a Problem

03:32 Welcome to Wake Up with Marci

05:36 How Jeremy's Porn Addiction Started

08:00 When Porn Began Taking Over His Mind

10:00 The Moment Jeremy Saw Where His Addiction Was Taking Him

12:16 Porn, Alcohol, and Other Forms of Escape16:52 How Porn Changed the Way Jeremy Viewed Women

20:06 When Does Porn Become a Problem?

22:29 The Three A's of Porn Addiction

24:32 Why Porn Can Be So Difficult to Quit

25:45 Understanding the Shame Cycle

29:22 Healthy Shame vs. Toxic Shame

31:27 Moral Shame and Moral Dread

33:19 Trauma, Insecurity, and Filling the Void

35:58 Searching for a Different Kind of Happiness

38:25 How Buddhism and Neuroplasticity Changed Jeremy's Life

41:22 Mindfulness, Meditation, and Recovery

43:51 Meditation as a Gym for the Mind

46:18 Why Meditation Isn't About Clearing Your Mind

47:13 Recovery Is More Than Sobriety

49:10 How to Practice Mindfulness in Everyday Life

52:16 How to Start Meditating

53:03 Building a Practice of Gratitude

55:34 What Partners of Porn Addicts Need to Know

57:35 Porn Addiction as a Coping Mechanism

58:31 Where to Find Jeremy

59:06 You're Not Alone

01:01:29 Jeremy's Closing Message