Our conversation with Brian McDonald about his book "The Long Surrender: A Memoir about Losing My Religion"

On this episode of the Unburdened podcast, we have Brian McDonald. From his upbringing in Alabama to his 30-year career as a preacher, missionary, and pastor, including seven transformative years in Taiwan mastering Mandarin Chinese. With degrees from Liberty University and the College of William and Mary, Brian transitioned into counseling, teaching at prestigious universities like Johns Hopkins and George Mason.

Brian discussed the complexities of leaving a rigid religious community, the isolation that often follows, and the struggle to maintain relationships with those who cannot accept his change in belief. His memoir, The Long Surrender, encapsulates his journey of grappling with theological conflicts, particularly the doctrine of eternal damnation, which he could never fully reconcile with his understanding of a just and loving deity.

Married to Kathy for 44 years, they have three children and three grandchildren. His life's work, both as a minister and now as a therapist, continues to inspire and support those in the midst of their own spiritual transformations.

We discussed:

• Difficulties faced when leaving a religious community, including losing support and love from former members.

• Staying true to one's beliefs and integrity, even if it means diverging from a religious community's beliefs.

• The mental health journey of dealing with intrusive thoughts and obsessive-compulsive disorder.
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• Encounters with racial segregation and inclusion, exploring how cultural and racial backgrounds shape belief systems.

• Finding a supportive community that respects individual beliefs and values.

• Maintaining relationships with individuals who may not understand or agree with one's changing beliefs.

To learn more about Brian McDonald:

Website: https://www.brianrushmcdonald.com/index.htm

THE LONG SURRENDER: A Memoir About Losing My Religion (book): https://www.brianrushmcdonald.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/drbrianmc

Learn more about the Unburdened podcast:

Instagram: @theunburdenedpodcast

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Unburdened

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our conversation with Wendy Montgomery on her efforts to make the LDS church safe for LGBTQ people and her eventual decision to leave.

On this episode of the Unburdened podcast, we sat down with Wendy Montgomery, a certified life coach and Enneagram educator. As a mother of five children, four of whom identify as LGBTQIA+, Wendy co-founded Mama Dragons and has served on the board of directors for both Mama Dragons and Affirmation, the largest international Mormon LGBTQIA+ organization.

After her son's coming out, Wendy's faith is tested as she confronts the Mormon Church's doctrines that clash with her unconditional love for her children. She grapples with emotional struggles, engages in activism with groups like Mama Dragons and Affirmation, and considers the broader impact of church policies on LGBTQ+ individuals.

The courage to question, the strength to protect, and the love that knows no bounds— Wendy's advocacy and allyship is a profound lesson in parental love and the courage to stand up for one's beliefs amidst adversity.

We discussed:

• Wendy's journey of faith deconstruction and her evolution towards a more personalized belief system.

• Effects of Mormon Church doctrines on LGBTQ+ individuals and their families, including mental health challenges and social stigmas

• The aftermath of the Supreme Court's marriage equality decision

• Subsequent Mormon church policy targeting LGBTQIA+ members and their children.

• The increase in suicide rates among LGBTQIA+ youth regarding church's policy.

• Establishing healthy boundaries and finding strength in their experiences.

• Use of the Enneagram as a tool for self-discovery and personal growth.

To learn more about Wendy Montgomery:

Website: https://www.wendymontgomery.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wendymontcoach/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Wendy-Montgomery-Coaching/100084535879114/

Learn more about the Unburdened podcast:

Instagram: @theunburdenedpodcast

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Unburdened

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our conversation with IFS lead trainer Sue Richmond.

On this edition of the Unburdened podcast, we have Sue Richmond is a well-known therapist and one of the primary instructors of the Internal Family Systems Model. Sue does both private psychotherapy and IFS consultancy in Connecticut. She applies the IFS concept to both individuals and groups, using a kind and heart-centered approach.

Sue's journey is not just her story—it's an exploration of the internal struggle many face when their personal truths clash with religious doctrine, especially within the LGBTQ+ community. Her powerful narrative of a troubled childhood, marked by a parent's PTSD and alcoholism, unfolds to reveal a woman who found strength and solace in her unwavering faith.

We discussed:

• Pursuing social work over holy orders, focusing on helping marginalized communities.

• The struggle to find a faith community that accepts LGBTQ+ individuals.

• Psychotherapy and spirituality’s role in addressing faith, sexuality, and identity.

• Understanding one's 'parts' to achieve psychological wholeness.

• Holistic therapeutic approach that integrates spirituality and emotion for authentic self-connection.

• Development and application of IFS therapy as a transformative tool for healing.

To learn more about Sue Richmond:

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sue-richmond-668074154/

Learn more about the Unburdened podcast:

Instagram: @theunburdenedpodcast

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Unburdened

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our conversation with EMDR therapist Erin Evanson-Lass

In another profound episode of the Unburdened podcast, we are privileged to have a chat with Erin Evanson-Lass, an LCSW, EMDR Certified Therapist and Approved Consultant with EMDRIA, a Maiberger Institute Certified EMDR Therapist, Consultant and Training Facilitator, and the owner of Waypoints Counseling - a small group practice of dedicated therapists trained in EMDR and support staff noted for its focus on treating trauma.

Erin discusses the complex journey of healing from spiritual trauma, shedding light on the transformative power of EMDR therapy. She shares her insights on navigating the aftermath of high-control group influence, underscoring the challenges of finding autonomy and the human need for belonging.

We discussed:

• The need for therapists to recognize and address spiritual trauma.

• Use of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) as a transformative therapy method.

• Complexities of helping clients who are awakening to the existence of their trauma, particularly those coming from high-control group dynamics.

• Need for belonging and control, highlighting the risks and difficulties individuals face when leaving high-control groups.

• Damaging effects of spiritual abuse and purity culture, using Jennifer Knapp’s experiences as an example.

• Journey of healing and the courage required to reshape a new faith identity.

To learn more about Erin Evanson-Lass:

Website: waypointscounselingpllc.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/erin-evanson-lass-lcsw-0b834b8

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our conversation with Anna Clark Miller, trauma therapist, host of the Marytr. She Wrote podcast and author of the Religious Trauma Survival Guide.

In this episode of the Unburdened podcast, we sat down with Anna Clark-Miller, a licensed counselor, trainer, and author who focuses on religious trauma and abuse. She hosts the podcast Martyr, She Wrote, providing education and support for religious trauma survivors. Anna is also the author of the Religious Trauma Survival Guide, offering practical help for healing from controlling religious experiences.

Anna looks back to her childhood as a missionary child in the Philippines, when identity loss and guilt were brought on by social pressure to fit in. Drawing from her experiences, she tackles the tough questions about the path to recovery from religious trauma, exploring introspection, validating emotions, and embracing self-compassion.

We discussed:

• Anna’s struggles with identity, and the role of shame in her life

• Understanding religious trauma, the challenges of deconstruction

• Recognizing the impact of high-control religious environments on personal trust

• The transformative power of therapy in recovering from spiritual scars

• Validating emotions as a vital step in recovery, instead of dismissing them

• Strategies and solutions for recovery, rather than dwelling on the past

To learn more about Anna Clark Miller:

Website: https://www.empathyparadigmtherapy.com/

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Religious-Trauma-Survival-Guide-Professionals/dp/B0CHL5FGBM

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/martyr-she-wrote/id1644003708

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our conversation with Rev Monica Dobbins about her journey from fundamentalist Christianity to Unitarian Universalism

In this episode of the Unburdened podcast, we’ll embark on a transformative journey with Reverend Monica Dobbins, assistant minister at Salt Lake City's First Unitarian Church. After growing up in a fundamentalist Christian environment, Monica traveled through several religious traditions, including Zen Buddhism, before discovering Unitarian Universalism to be her true home.

Monica talks about the nuances of leaving a high-control religion and the culture shock that can ensue when transitioning to a more open and accepting faith community. Through her personal journey from fundamentalism, Monica shares how her experiences continue to influence her ministry today.

We discussed:

• Cultural challenges faced when transitioning from high-control religions to more open faith communities.

• Monica’s process of deconstruction and reclaiming aspects of her faith.

• The importance of community support for those questioning their faith and the liberating experience of embracing life's unanswered questions.

• Rejecting harmful in-group/out-group dynamics and the inerrancy of scripture, while still upholding the inherent dignity of all individuals.

• Emphasis on the value of stillness, divine guidance, and spiritual growth.

To learn more about Reverend Monica Dobbins:

Website: https://www.monicadobbins.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mddobbins/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our conversation with trauma therapist Dr. Jaime Marich about her work, and her own journey through spiritual trauma, the topic of her upcoming book.

In this episode of the Unburdened podcast, we have Dr. Jamie Marich – a trauma therapist and humanitarian aid worker, who delves into spiritual abuse, its profound impact on individuals' lives and belief structures. She is the founder of the Institute for Creative Mindfulness, known for creating the Dancing Mindfulness Approach to Expressive Arts Therapy and has authored numerous books

Opening up about her personal journey, she recalls her upbringing in a religiously divided home and the ensuing spiritual trauma she experienced. Drawing from her therapeutic methodology, which integrates EMDR, expressive arts, and mindfulness, Dr. Marich shared a holistic perspective on addressing and healing spiritual wounds.

We discussed:

• How spiritual abuse can deeply affect individuals, particularly those with a strong spiritual connection.
• Humor and questioning as tools for recovery from spiritual disillusionment.
• The misuse of authority in spiritual communities across different religions.
• Seeking certainty to embracing the mystery and doubt as part of the healing journey.
• The power of seeing the divine in others and the unity it can foster.

To learn more about Dr. Jamie Marich:

Website: redefinetherapy.com/ | https://www.instituteforcreativemindfulness.com/ | https://jamiemarich.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode LPC and yoga instructor Tiffany Harris talks with us about her journey stepping away from the LDS church and we explore religious trauma through the lens of trauma, grief, and bike racing!

In this episode of the Unburdened podcast, we’ll navigate the treacherous yet enlightening path of healing from spiritual trauma with TIffany Harris. – a licensed professional counselor and yoga instructor as she unravels the complexities that come with questioning or leaving one's faith.

Tiffany opens up about her own journey away from the LDS Church, sharing how the process of finding new answers and establishing a sense of security outside of a lifelong faith can be both challenging and liberating, tackling the tough emotions of grief and loss, and the crucial role that open conversations and safe spaces play in the healing process.

Drawing from Tiffany's perspective, we reflect on how the values instilled by religious upbringing—community, love, kindness—can remain intact and continue to guide us even after we've stepped away from institutional beliefs.

We discussed:

• Tiffany’s experience with spiritual trauma and healing process.
• Addressing the difficulties of reconciling personal values with institutional religious doctrines
• Exploring the idea that leaving a religion is often not for an easier path but for moral integrity
• How one can retain values like love and kindness after departure
• Finding the courage to follow one's own moral compass.
• Redefining spiritual practices in a personal and authentic way

To learn more about Tiffany Harris:

Website: https://www.tiffanyharriscounseling.com/

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.