The haunted doll museum charges $66.60 to get in and $166.66 for a photo with a four-foot possessed Raggedy Ann, and that still isn't the dumbest decision anyone made this week. Also: a kid gets suspended for talking his buddy into Googling the one thing you never Google on a school laptop, flavored post-nasal drip pitched as a billion-dollar idea, and a "Skynet" data center headed to space with no plan for the heat.

The first-ever glow-in-the-dark disc golf league pulls 22 players, the AI-built tee sheet strands a six-top in the middle of nowhere, and the official fix is to plug it right back into the same AI and tell it where it fucked up. Also: night golfers swear they never hit a single tree, and skin-cell science threatens to make "go fuck yourself" a real medical option.

The mango habanero shot was supposed to finally be gone. Instead, somebody ignored the pink sticky note and cracked a brand new bottle. Also: 235 episodes in, the guys figure the audience bailed about 135 ago, plus Gwar plans and a Camaro so cramped someone rode in the fetal position.

Ranch is declared the superior dressing with a standing offer to fight anyone who disagrees, and Thousand Island gets exposed as Big Mac sauce. Also: the buddy who unlocked every cheat in ARK and wiped out six months of island-building in one week, urinal stickers smuggled to the Keys, and a walk-on cameo right in the middle of the politics segment.

Amazing Spider-Man hits issue 1000 at $9.99 a copy after launching at 12 cents, and somebody at the table still can't understand how there could be a thousand of them. Also: a fight over which emotion powers the Green Lantern, a limited-run putter made from recycled Crocs and stamped with a raccoon named Jimothy, and a shot so cloudy it got compared to alien jizz.

Somebody rips the stall door off the bar bathroom and blames a bald guy from Georgia who never existed, which leaves the one-armed ex-cook as the only other suspect. Also: a live on-air Google confirms the full bush is officially back, and a tramp stamp that supposedly predates the term.

A Sandra Bullock/Nicole Kidman/Tom Cruise height-guessing game turns into an actual Google competition, and Tom Cruise still comes up short. That segues into a Practical Magic sequel review 28 years in the making, which mostly involves someone's mom threatening to walk out. Then it's a full-blown DC multiverse lecture — Flashpoint Paradox, evil Martha Wayne, the whole thing — that nobody asked for but everybody stayed for.

Fantasy football draft recap turns into a public shaming when someone admits his bedroom superpower is "being a good listener" and gets docked 52 points on the spot. Also: a door hinge finally gets fixed after nearly taking someone out, a bathroom sink that just won't turn off, and a long, confused conversation about a niece's TikTok candy-bucket career that nobody at the table can explain.