Kimberly Zember Links:
Website: https://boldlybeloved.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimzember/?hl=en
Youtube: https://studio.youtube.com/channel/UCGwSoFrAo2NxURhsOoJGi4A

Today in the studio I have my new friend and fellow podcast host, Kim Zember, who spent twelve years in the lesbian lifestyle before God set her free, almost twelve years ago now. Before any of that, Kim was the youngest realtor in California at just 18 years old, and went on to build a genuinely successful real estate career, before God moved her all the way to Ethiopia. Kim grew up in a Christian home with parents who truly loved the Lord, but somewhere along the way she built a warped picture of God as a cop, watching and waiting for her to mess up rather than a father who wanted to help her in her weakness. That image, combined with a sex talk from her dad warning her that "all men are dogs," quietly shaped a heart that didn't trust men even while being attracted to them. Kim has written all of this down in her book, "Restless Heart: My Struggle With Life and Sexuality," available on Amazon, but today she walks us through it in her own words.

Kim takes us back to her senior year of high school in 2002, when a culture of "everybody's sinning anyway" talked her into kissing her best friend, a decision she says changed everything the moment it happened, even though in the moment it felt like nothing. That one relationship ended almost as fast as it started, but it opened a door Kim couldn't close, and for the next twelve years she moved from woman to woman, always in secret, always behind the scenes, while outwardly dating men, including professional athletes, to keep the cover. At the same time, she was building an entire other life, the youngest realtor in California, buying an Escalade and her first house in cash by 19, living what she describes as "the high life," all while a double life ran quietly underneath it, hidden even from her own mother, who suspected something but was gently told not to go there.

The turning point came from an unexpected place, a genuinely good man who told Kim he loved her and, when she pushed back and demanded to know why, told her, "if you want to know your heart, you have to ask God." That one sentence sent Kim into her room that night praying the exact words, "God, show me my heart," and what came back was a memory she had completely forgotten, a childhood desire from fourth or fifth grade to go to Africa, a memory her own mother confirmed had actually happened. Within weeks Kim sold her house, her Escalade, everything she owned, and moved to Ethiopia at 23, with no mission organization, no plan, and no idea what she was doing, only to have her heart fully undone by a little barefoot girl on the streets there, an encounter God used on the flight home to begin pulling Kim's eyes off herself for the first time. It's a powerful, honest conversation, and this is only part one, Kim and I pick back up soon to talk about what happened when she came home, got engaged, and made a promise to God the night before her wedding that she had no strength of her own to keep. Please subscribe, share, and leave a comment on how this episode spoke to you.

Chapters:
00:00 – "God Is a Cop"
04:20 – Growing Up Thinking God's Rules Were Too Hard
08:40 – Her Dad's Warning
13:03 – The Kiss That Opened a Door She Couldn't Close
17:25 – 19 Years Old, Rich, and Living a Double Life
21:49 – Hiding It From Everyone, Even While Going to Church
26:14 – "God, Show Me My Heart"
30:33 – Selling the House, the Escalade, and Moving to Ethiopia
34:53 – The Barefoot Little Girl Who Broke Her Heart Open
39:15 – Marrying Out of Fear Instead of Freedom

Naomi Van Wyk Links:
Website: naomivanwyk.com
Instagram: @naomivwofficial
Shop: naomivanwyk.com/pages/shop

Get her book today: https://a.co/d/0dGRNkO5

Connect with Pam: https://www.mendingmiracles.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/authorpamvredevelt
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/supportmendingmiracles
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pam-vredevelt-96a1b539

I'm so honored today to sit down with my new friend Pam, a best-selling author, speaker, and counselor who has walked through losing a baby to miscarriage and, later, losing her son at 16 years old. Her new book, Mending Miracles, is part of why I had to get her on this show. Pam takes us back to where it started, finishing graduate school, pregnant, walking into a routine five-month checkup in her new maternity dress, when the doctor couldn't find a heartbeat. Within 48 hours she was in labor and delivery, and she left the hospital with empty arms, a stack of bills, and a broken heart, still believing God was good, but completely confused about how he could let it happen.

Two weeks later, swimming laps and praying through her tears, Pam saw a picture of a book in her mind, and when she brought the idea to a friend who was a published author, that friend told her flatly, "I want the first three chapters on my desk by Monday." It was Friday. Pam cried her way through that handwritten weekend, not realizing she was doing the very thing neuroscience now proves accelerates healing, writing your story and connecting the facts to the feelings, exactly what David did raw and uncensored in the Psalms. A few months later, three publishers wanted it. That book, Empty Arms, landed in her hands in the most redemptive way possible, her editor delivered a hot-off-the-press copy to her hospital room the day she gave birth to her daughter Jesse, two years after the loss, saying, "No more empty arms." We talk about how common this actually is, roughly one in four women experience miscarriage, stillbirth, or a tubal pregnancy, and the numbers have only climbed since 2020, yet it's one of the griefs our culture still won't talk about out loud.

Pam, now the author of 16 books, shares the biggest misconception she sees in her counseling practice, that grief just fades if you stay busy and positive and never speak of it. She tells the story of a client who buried the grief of a stillborn baby for 14 years after her husband couldn't handle it and left the hospital, only for that exact pain to resurface as fresh as the day it happened the moment she finally had a safe place to talk about it. We go into what the neuroscience now shows, that unresolved grief and trauma don't just stay buried, they can actually get passed down to your children at a genetic level. Pam closes with a simple acrostic she loves, H-O-W, honest, open, and willing, which she calls the "how" of any real transformation. We're already looking forward to part two, where Pam opens up about the hardest story yet, losing her son Nathan at 16. Please subscribe, share, and leave a comment on how this episode spoke to you.

Naomi Van Wyk Links:
Website: naomivanwyk.com
Instagram: @naomivwofficial
Shop: naomivanwyk.com/pages/shop

Chapters:
00:00 – Introduction
03:27 – "I Think the Baby's Dead": The Moment Everything Changed
06:49 – Writing the Psalms Raw: Why Telling the Truth Heals
10:13 – 1 in 4: The Loss Statistic No One Talks About
13:38 – Pregnant Again, and Not Happy About It
17:01 – The Myth That Grief Just "Fades" If You Stay Busy
20:28 – Buried for 14 Years: A Grief That Surfaced Like Yesterday
23:53 – How Unresolved Grief Gets Passed Down to Your Kids
27:15 – 16 Books Later: Letting Go, Espresso for Your Spirit, and More
30:40 – The "H.O.W." of Healing: Honest, Open, Willing

Naomi Van Wyk Links:
Website: naomivanwyk.com
Instagram: @naomivwofficial
Shop: naomivanwyk.com/pages/shop

Get her book today: https://a.co/d/0dGRNkO5

Connect with Pam: https://www.mendingmiracles.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/authorpamvredevelt
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/supportmendingmiracles
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pam-vredevelt-96a1b539

I'm so honored today to sit down with my new friend Pam, a best-selling author, speaker, and counselor who has walked through losing a baby to miscarriage and, later, losing her son at 16 years old. Her new book, Mending Miracles, is part of why I had to get her on this show. Pam takes us back to where it started, finishing graduate school, pregnant, walking into a routine five-month checkup in her new maternity dress, when the doctor couldn't find a heartbeat. Within 48 hours she was in labor and delivery, and she left the hospital with empty arms, a stack of bills, and a broken heart, still believing God was good, but completely confused about how he could let it happen.

Two weeks later, swimming laps and praying through her tears, Pam saw a picture of a book in her mind, and when she brought the idea to a friend who was a published author, that friend told her flatly, "I want the first three chapters on my desk by Monday." It was Friday. Pam cried her way through that handwritten weekend, not realizing she was doing the very thing neuroscience now proves accelerates healing, writing your story and connecting the facts to the feelings, exactly what David did raw and uncensored in the Psalms. A few months later, three publishers wanted it. That book, Empty Arms, landed in her hands in the most redemptive way possible, her editor delivered a hot-off-the-press copy to her hospital room the day she gave birth to her daughter Jesse, two years after the loss, saying, "No more empty arms." We talk about how common this actually is, roughly one in four women experience miscarriage, stillbirth, or a tubal pregnancy, and the numbers have only climbed since 2020, yet it's one of the griefs our culture still won't talk about out loud.

Pam, now the author of 16 books, shares the biggest misconception she sees in her counseling practice, that grief just fades if you stay busy and positive and never speak of it. She tells the story of a client who buried the grief of a stillborn baby for 14 years after her husband couldn't handle it and left the hospital, only for that exact pain to resurface as fresh as the day it happened the moment she finally had a safe place to talk about it. We go into what the neuroscience now shows, that unresolved grief and trauma don't just stay buried, they can actually get passed down to your children at a genetic level. Pam closes with a simple acrostic she loves, H-O-W, honest, open, and willing, which she calls the "how" of any real transformation. We're already looking forward to part two, where Pam opens up about the hardest story yet, losing her son Nathan at 16. Please subscribe, share, and leave a comment on how this episode spoke to you.

Naomi Van Wyk Links:
Website: naomivanwyk.com
Instagram: @naomivwofficial
Shop: naomivanwyk.com/pages/shop

Chapters:
00:00 – Introduction
03:27 – "I Think the Baby's Dead": The Moment Everything Changed
06:49 – Writing the Psalms Raw: Why Telling the Truth Heals
10:13 – 1 in 4: The Loss Statistic No One Talks About
13:38 – Pregnant Again, and Not Happy About It
17:01 – The Myth That Grief Just "Fades" If You Stay Busy
20:28 – Buried for 14 Years: A Grief That Surfaced Like Yesterday
23:53 – How Unresolved Grief Gets Passed Down to Your Kids
27:15 – 16 Books Later: Letting Go, Espresso for Your Spirit, and More
30:40 – The "H.O.W." of Healing: Honest, Open, Willing

Naomi Van Wyk Links:
Website: naomivanwyk.com
Instagram: @naomivwofficial
Shop: naomivanwyk.com/pages/shop