The tools of coaching - Pain and Pleasure
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A $25,000 invoice had two lines: "Drawing X on dial: $1" and "Knowing where to draw the X: $24,999." In your life, you're losing energy—to rumination, anxiety, old trauma—but you don't know where the leak is.
The Unconscious Is the Only True Worksite
All lasting change happens in the unconscious mind.
Tool 1: The Contrast Engine – Reprogramming Your Trajectory
This tool uses the ultimate motivators: pain and pleasure. I first experienced it in a seminar that changed my life's trajectory from hardened police officer to coach.
- The Process: You vividly imagine two futures. First, the Pain Path: You project 5, 10, 20 years into a future where you've given up. You feel the resulting misery, depletion, and regret in your body—hunching over, clenching muscles. Then, you erase that and project into the Pleasure Path: 5, 10, 20 years of living your best life, feeling joy, strength, and abundance.
- The Science: The unconscious mind doesn't distinguish between real and vividly imagined experience. By creating a stark neurological contrast between these futures, you create a powerful "slingshot" effect. Your nervous system, to avoid the pain and seek the pleasure, unconsciously repatterns your present decisions. It’s not positive thinking; it’s experiential programming.
Tool 2: The Gift – Saturating Your Timeline with Joy
If the first tool uses contrast, this one uses saturation. It’s a gentle, profound timeline therapy.
- The Process: In a meditative state, you travel back to a specific, joyful childhood memory. You observe your younger self radiating pure, unbounded joy. You then approach that child, introduce yourself as their future self, and give them a “gift”—often a whispered word of love or wisdom. You hug them, merge with them, and pull that crystalline joy forward through your timeline, saturating your teenage years, adulthood, and into your present.
- The Result: This isn't just a feel-good exercise. It’s an emotional clearing. One client, plagued by weekly nightmares, did this process and they stopped. It reprograms the emotional tone of your past, changing how you carry it into the now. The past isn't changed, but your relationship to it is healed.
Tool 3: The Womb of Eternity – Finding Your True Voice
We are plagued by a cacophony of internal voices: critics, doubters, echoes of past hurts. This tool is about finding the volume controls.
- The Process: You journey in meditation back before birth, to a "womb of eternity"—a place of perfect safety and peace. From there, you identify your "Voice of Authority," the one internal voice that is always trustworthy and for your highest good.
- The Result: The negative self-talk doesn’t disappear, but it becomes background noise, like a radio turned low. Your energy is no longer siphoned by internal conflict.
The Coach’s Realization: It’s All About the State
These tools aren’t intellectual. They must be experienced in a receptive state—alpha or theta brainwave states accessed through guided meditation or trance. In the beta (waking) state, change is slow and fought for. In these deeper states, change is absorbed and accepted. The coach’s art is skillfully guiding someone into that state and leading them through the neurological repatterning.
The promise is this: you are not stuck with the factory settings of your mind. You have a control room. With the right tools, you can find the leaky dials, adjust the volumes, and redirect your life’s energy toward creation, not depletion.