It feels supportive to share about what we’ve read or come to understand about kindness and connection. I’m as guilty as the next person of doing that – probably more guilty. Just ask me – I’m happy to share.

But the real wisdom is in walking the walk. If I’m talking about how we belong to one another but in my next move, I’m in a “we/they” conversation, how is that helpful? If I’m not only acknowledging but embracing everyone, things can shift.

This kind of mindfulness “on the ground” feels aspirational. It also might be our only way out of the mess we’ve created.

Creating happiness when so much seems to be crumbling before our very eyes – sometimes that feels like a challenge. But what works for me is the moment-to-moment feedback loop.

When I speak and act with goodness, even in conflictual or adversarial moments, the goodness makes me feel happier. Not happier because I’ve given something up – I’m not doing that – I’m standing my ground – but happier because I’m standing my ground with generosity or curiosity.

When I forget to do that – when hatred or greed gets the better of me, which is definitely not never – it feels pretty terrible. When I remember, there really is happiness. It’s something to check out, this personal feedback loop. And see if it works for you, too. See if it brings you a little moment-to-moment happiness in this crazy world.

Here I am, again, my heart all bound up in some petty dispute. For the millionth time, I see, and feel, tightness, closed-up-ness: this old heart trying to protect itself. It takes so much effort. It feels like I’m shoving an old bureau in front of its door.

But seeing is understanding. Only when I summon the courage to see that the door is closed, the mouth is set, the eyes are no longer soft or loving – only then can I let go. So, in a way, seeing is not only understanding. Seeing is also healing.