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The Ugly Truth of Divorce

The Ugly Truth of Divorce

Di: Samantha Boss
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A proposito di questo titolo

The Ugly Truth of Divorce is for parents navigating custody, conflict, and co-parenting with someone who makes everything harder than it needs to be.

Hosted by Samantha Boss — divorce coach, parenting plan expert, and someone who’s lived through a high-conflict divorce — this podcast breaks down what actually matters: the mistakes parents don’t realize they’re making, the parenting plans that fail families long-term, and the decisions you only get one chance to get right.

These are short, straight-to-the-point episodes focused on high-conflict divorce, court-ready parenting plans, and protecting your kids, your peace, and your future.

No sugarcoating. No legal jargon.

Just clarity—so you can know better, decide smarter, and move forward with confidence.

© The Ugly Truth of Divorce with Samantha Boss Genitorialità e famiglie Istruzione Relazioni Scienze sociali
Episodi
  • 5: "We'll Just Fix It Later" — Why That's a Lie

    5: "We'll Just Fix It Later" — Why That's a Lie
    Feb 19 2026
    "We'll just fix it later."That's the lie everyone believes when they sign a shitty parenting plan. Bullshit. Courts don't work that way.Once the plan is signed, you're stuck unless you can prove a "material and substantial change in circumstances." And guess what? Two hours late every Sunday for two years? Not substantial enough.Episode 5 breaks down why modification is almost impossible, and why you get ONE SHOT at getting this right.The dangerous assumption: Parents think if something doesn't work, they can just go back and change it. Wrong. The bar for modification is SO high, most violations don't qualify.The garbage modification clauses:"Court shall not modify absent material change in circumstance" (What's "material"? Nobody defines it)"Change must be substantial and continuing in nature" (How substantial? How long? Judge decides, after you've paid thousands)"Party seeking modification bears burden of proving" (You prove it. With facts, pictures, data. Not feelings) Real example:Client documented violations for six months. Judge: "Come back at 18 months."She did. Ex had been squeaky clean for six weeks before court. Judge: "Why are we even here? He's improving."Why contempt is a joke:You document for months. File contempt. They behave for six weeks before court. You look crazy. They look improved.You spent thousands for: "Don't do that again, sir."Three weeks later? Back to violating. No consequences. No penalties.Courts favor stability over safety:Kids passing school despite chaos? No modification. Courts say "doing okay" = not bad enough to change.What actually protects you:Built-in consequences, automatic penalties, review periods, defined modification triggers, all written into the plan UPFRONT.Without these? You're stuck for 18 years with whatever garbage Larry wrote.The reality:You don't get a do-over. You don't get to "fix it later." You get ONE shot. Make it count.Don't count on modification to save you.The Parenting Plan Masterclass teaches you how to build protection INTO the plan from day one: automatic consequences for violations, built-in review periods every 2 years, clear modification triggers (relocation, job change, remarriage)—so you never have to prove "material and substantial change" to a skeptical judge.Get it right the first time: Parenting Plan MasterclassOne shot. Make it count.Here’s What You Can Actually Take Away: "We'll fix it later" is a dangerous lie — Courts require "material and substantial change" to modify plans. That bar is ridiculously high. You don't get do-overs. "Material and substantial" is intentionally vague — What's substantial? Three times? Six? A year of violations? Nobody defines it. Judges decide case by case, usually against you. "Continuing in nature" means ongoing pattern — One violation isn't enough. Six months of documentation? Judge says "come back at 18." You're constantly proving instead of parenting. Burden of proof is on YOU — You have to prove with facts, pictures, data—not feelings. "I think they're talking shit to the kids" = worthless without proof. Contempt is a joke — You document for months. File contempt. They behave for six weeks before court. Judge: "Why are we here? They're improving." You spent thousands for a finger shake. Courts favor stability over safety — Kids passing school despite chaos? Modification denied. Courts interpret "doing okay" as "not bad enough to change." High-conflict exes game the system — They violate for months. You file. They become squeaky clean before court. Then you look crazy. Then they go right back to violating. You get ONE SHOT — Write the plan right the first time with built-in consequences, automatic penalties, review periods, and defined modification triggers. Don't count on fixing it later.The Truth Bombs"Parents assume they can just fix any parenting plan later. 'We'll just go back and change it.' No. It's not that simple. Courts don't work that way.""'Material and substantial change'—what the fuck does that even mean? Is three times enough? Six? Once a week? It's not measurable. And if you can't measure it, you can't enforce it.""Client documented violations for six months. Judge said 'come back at 18 months.' She did. Ex had been squeaky clean for six weeks before court. Judge: 'Why are we even here?'""Contempt is a joke. You spend thousands for a finger shake. 'Don't do that again, sir.' Three weeks later? They're back to violating. No consequences. No penalties. Just document it.""Two hours late every Sunday for two years? Judge: 'But aren't the kids thriving at school?' Yes, but I'm missing two hours. 'Not substantial enough.'""Courts favor stability over safety. Kids doing okay in school despite chaos? That's 'stable.' You want to change it? Prove it's harming them. Good luck.""High-conflict people violate for months, then become squeaky clean before court. You look crazy. They look improved. Then they go right back to it.""You get ONE SHOT at this. Write it ...
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    24 min
  • 4: "Open Communication" = Your Ex Can Harass You 24/7

    4: "Open Communication" = Your Ex Can Harass You 24/7
    Feb 17 2026
    "Open communication.""All matters involving the child.""No restrictions on frequency or method."Sounds cooperative, right? Like you're being a good co-parent? Bullshit.In this episode, I'm breaking down how vague communication clauses turn you into your ex's secretary, and your high-conflict ex knows exactly what they're doing.They're training you like a dog. Text. Respond. Text. Respond. Call during your parenting time. Answer. Call during your date night. Answer. Because if you don't? You're a "bad co-parent."And that threat—"I'm taking you back to court"—keeps you answering. Even when it's the 16th message today. Even when you're at work. Even when the kids are with THEM and you're trying to have a fucking life.The clauses that wreck your life:"Open communication regarding all matters" (lost tooth? Bad dream? Scraped knee? Now you're reporting everything)"Communicate directly about issues concerning the child" (what's an "issue"? Everything becomes one)"No restrictions on frequency or method" (they can call, text, FaceTime, stop by—whenever they want) Your time with your kids is sacred. Your ex doesn't get unlimited access to you just because you share children.Stop being their on-call secretary.The Parenting Plan Masterclass shows you how to set actual boundaries: define platforms (app only, no phone calls), set business hours, clarify what counts as an emergency, and build in response time limits—so "open communication" never means unlimited harassment.Set boundaries that stick: Parenting Plan Masterclass.Communication needs rules. Build them in.Here’s What You Can Actually Take Away: "Open communication" is a myth in high-conflict co-parenting — It assumes cooperation that doesn't exist. Without boundaries, it becomes unlimited access and constant harassment. High-conflict exes train you like a dog — Text. Respond. Text. Respond. The threat of "bad co-parent" or "I'll take you back to court" keeps you complying. "All matters" means you become their secretary — Lost tooth? Scraped knee? Bad dream? You're reporting everything while they share nothing. Oversharing backfires — Every positive thing you share gets torn apart and used as ammunition. Your kids watch you stop everything to answer. "No restrictions on frequency or method" = unlimited control — They can call, text, FaceTime, stop by whenever they want. Your time isn't protected. Reciprocation doesn't exist — You're expected to communicate everything. They share nothing. "My house, my rules" only applies to them. Communication needs business hours — Define platform (app only), response times (24-48 hours), emergency definitions, and off-limits times. Your parenting time is sacred — When the kids are with you, there's no emergency. They're safe. Your ex doesn't need access to you during your time.The Truth Bombs"High-conflict exes are training you like a dog. Here's a treat, bring it back. Here's another toy, bring it back. They're shocking you to come back to them.""'Open communication regarding all matters involving the child'—that means lost tooth, bad dream, scraped knee. Now you're their secretary reporting every fucking detail.""I sent a video of my daughter mowing the lawn—perfect stripes, zero-point turn. First response? 'Why is she wearing shorts instead of pants?' That's what oversharing gets you.""'No restrictions on frequency or method'—they can call during your date night, FaceTime during dinner with your kids, stop by whenever. Your parenting plan just gave them unlimited access.""You overshare because they say 'you're a bad co-parent.' So you answer the 16th message today even though you just spent $80,000 in court and can't go back.""They don't share shit about their house. 'My time, my rules.' But you're expected to report everything? That's not co-parenting. That's control.""Your time with your kids is sacred. When they're with you, there's no emergency. You see them, they're safe. Your ex doesn't need access to you.""Parenting plans need business hours. Opening hours, closing hours. My time with the kids? Closed. No emergency here. I'll get back to you when my plan says I have to."Follow Samantha BossWebsiteFacebookInstagramTikTokLinkedInYouTube
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    20 min
  • 3: The Reasonable Parenting Time Clause Courts Won't Save You From

    3: The Reasonable Parenting Time Clause Courts Won't Save You From
    Feb 12 2026

    "Reasonable parenting time" sounds flexible and mature. Until you try to enforce it.

    What's reasonable? Every day? Every other weekend? Wednesday dinners? Your ex thinks one thing. You think another. And when you can't agree, you're either spending thousands going back to court or letting your ex control when you see your kids.

    In this episode, I'm breaking down why "reasonable" is the laziest, most dangerous clause in parenting plans, and why it's so fucking easy to fix.

    I walk through the vague garbage clauses courts love to use, why flexibility fails in high-conflict situations, and what actually works: start times, end times, every single minute accounted for from Sunday to Sunday.

    Because if your parenting plan doesn't clearly define when you have your kids, you can't build a relationship with them. And in high-conflict situations, vague language means your ex runs the show.

    This is the hill to die on: time with your children.

    Stop letting "reasonable" control your time.

    The Parenting Plan Masterclass teaches you how to account for every minute—exact pickup times, drop-off locations, every holiday defined, no vague "alternating" bullshit—so you're never begging your ex for time with your kids.

    Protect your time.

    Your time matters. Define it.

    Here’s What You Can Actually Take Away:
    • "Reasonable" is not measurable - You can't enforce what isn't specific. Ten people will give you ten different definitions of "reasonable parenting time."
    • Vague language creates war, not flexibility - In high-conflict situations, whoever refuses to cooperate gets control when nothing is defined.
    • Every minute should be accounted for - From Sunday to Sunday, you should know exactly who has the child at any given moment based on the parenting plan.
    • Undefined holidays and vacation = guaranteed conflict - "Parties will alternate holidays" means nothing. Define every specific holiday, every vacation rule, every blackout date.
    • Flexibility fails in high-conflict situations - You crack the window an inch, they take the whole thing. Without specific boundaries, "flexible" becomes "your ex controls everything."
    • Time with your kids is the hill to die on - You can't build a relationship if you don't have clearly defined time. This is the one thing worth fighting for in your parenting plan.
    • This is the easiest clause to fix - Time is time. Sunday through Saturday. 24 hours a day. There's no excuse for leaving it vague.
    • Courts want callback potential - Vague language guarantees future legal fees. A detailed plan means you never need to call your attorney again.

    The Truth Bombs
    • "Reasonable is not measurable. Ask 10 people what it means, you'll get 10 different answers."
    • "Flexibility fails in high-conflict situations. You crack the window an inch, they take the whole thing."
    • "The parenting plan IS a contract. Tell me when I have them, when I drop them off. It's super simple."
    • "Write your plan so clearly that when crisis hits, you can pull it off the shelf and say 'here's what we're doing Christmas morning.'"
    • "Every minute, Sunday to Sunday, should be accounted for. Tuesday at 2:35 PM? I know exactly who has the child."
    • "If I don't have my kids, am I even being a parent? I can't build a relationship if time isn't clearly defined."
    • "Would Nike and Tiger Woods have a contract that says 'show up when you want, we'll pay as we see fit'? Fuck no."
    • "Vague language doesn't protect kids. It protects conflict and lines Larry's pocketbook."

    Follow Samantha Boss
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    19 min
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