A few years ago I felt pulled to start writing songs about my teenage years. I have always been nostalgic for that time but something about the last few years, COVID and other events, made me yearn even more to return to where we cannot go. I ended up creating an EP, Day Dreamer, that allowed me to explore my formative years and pay homage to my best friends, the places we grew up in, and the experiences that shaped us.

Nothing Ever Happens Here is the first song on the EP, capturing the spirit of teenage restlessness and setting the sonic foundation for the rest of the record; a strange kind of love letter to growing up in the middle of nowhere.

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When I was 23 I read Patti Smith's memoir, Just Kids. Her evocative writing pulled me in, but it was a shared childhood experience that tethered me to her forever.

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In 2019 I went to see a psychiatrist to discuss my OCD, and I walked away with a diagnosis for the last thing in the world that I thought I had; ADHD.

One for all the late diagnosis girlies. I see you <3

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What is your current relationship with your creative process?

"I'm terrified it will leave me. I don't know how to make it grow. I'm desperate to make music my career, but I also want to remain true to my art. I'm supposed to be wintering; gathering spells and letters, trinkets and treasure, bathing in monnlight and song...soaking it in, art... but frustration and desperation are getting in the way. Forever keeping me urgent.

I am fighting my winter."

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In this moment, are you letting yourself be lead by fear, or by love?

I was supposed to release an album this month, on my birthday, November 14th. I wasn't ready, but after a year of family health scares I let the burden of comparison and the fear of time slipping away push me to try.

It all fell apart of course, being lead by fear never turns out well. When I realised I had to cancel the album launch, I was forced to reflect on how I had got to this point. Why did I feel so desperate to put out this body of work? Why did I insist on pushing myself to complete an impossible task?

Birthdays can do funny things to the mind. I keep telling myself that ageing is a privildge, but I'm not sure I can hear it.

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On my 18th birthday, my parents gave me a black terracotta jar adorned with red and white love hearts. It came with a small piece of paper upon which I was supposed to write a wish, a hope, a dream.

Once you have filled the jar with money, you smash it and voila, your wish has come true. My wish, hope, dream?

I wanna make it.

I've had that jar for almost 18 years. Did I make it?

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How can I hold this for you
If I can't hold you?

Like a lot of people with sensory issues, I struggle with physical contact. I don't want anyone to touch me, but I feel so left out and alone when I see others doing it. Teenage girls walking down the street arm in arm, friends casually leaning on one another, toddlers being carried by their parents.

So, when a public speaking workshop turned out to be a highly physical affair, I was pushed to consider why I am so averse to being touched, being held, by others.

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Ticking all off my problems off of the shopping list

They’re all out of hope but I don’t even know if I need it

Yeah, I’m, oh,

Forgot myself better go back for it

Why do I spend so much time in the supermarket? What do I get out of wandering through the aisles, buying ugly decor and kitchen tat, blankets, and cheapy candles.

Consumerism or post-pandemic mental health coping strategy? Perhaps it's both. Let's find out.

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