Talking about death is uncomfortable. Talking about how we want to die? That's a conversation most of us avoid altogether.

In this episode of The Sandwich Generation Pod, Eliesa and Robyn sit down with Sarah Longacre and Wendy Brown to share the extraordinary story of Cheryl Hauser, a wife, mother, and advocate whose Alzheimer's diagnosis led her to make a deeply personal end-of-life decision through Voluntarily Stopping Eating and Drinking (VSED).

Cheryl spent her final years documenting her journey, not to tell others what to do, but to encourage families to have honest conversations about end-of-life wishes, autonomy, and what it means to live—and die—with intention. Her story is now featured in the documentary The Cheryl Hauser Effect, helping families around the world navigate some of life's hardest conversations.

Together, we explore Alzheimer's, advance care planning, VSED, caregiving, grief, and the courage it takes to talk openly about death before a crisis forces the conversation.

This episode is thoughtful, emotional, and ultimately hopeful. Whether you're caring for aging parents, facing a difficult diagnosis in your family, or simply wondering how to start talking about end-of-life wishes, Cheryl's story is one you won't soon forget.

Takeaways

• Talking about death is hard, but talking about it matters.
• Knowing someone's wishes is one of the greatest acts of love.
• Every family deserves to understand their end-of-life options.
• Honoring someone's choices can be the hardest - and kindest - thing we do.
• Dignity, joy, and purpose can exist until the very end.
• VSED requires a lot of planning to make sure everyone is emotionally and logistically on board to preserve your loved one’s comfort and dignity through the process.
• Cheryl Hauser and her story are opening up the conversation about choosing how we die.
• No matter what the right choice is for you, plan the party, invite your people and live your fullest right up until the end.

Links + Resources:

Cheryl Hauser Effect Website

Compassion and Choices

Chemin - Wendy Longacre Brown’s end of life doula website and resources

“Choosing to Die” Book by Phyllis Schacter

Minnesota Death Collaborative - a group of integrative death professionals who serve our community in a variety of ways.

Chapters

00:00 Introducing the sisters: Sarah and Wendy

03:53 An Intro to The Cheryl Hauser Effect Documentary

05:51 Who is Cheryl Hauser : A Mother's Legacy

28:30 Shifting Perspectives: Conversations About Mortality

31:08 Medical Aid vs. VSED: Understanding the Options

39:37 When is it time to VSED? How do you know?

44:02 The legalities of choosing VSED - a candid conversation

50:54 Setting the Stage for VSED - What's is really like?

01:06:16 TheCherylHauserEffect.com

01:08:29 Reaction and Final Thoughts from Robyn + Eliesa

What happens when we find someone on the internet who’s leading a grassroots movement in revolutionizing care in America?! We invite them to the pod! In this mini-episode of The Sandwich Generation Pod, Robyn and Eliesa welcome Neal K. Shah of CareYaya to the mic. Neal is reaching people far and wide through his wisdom and advice through social media, but did you also know that he’s *literally* changing the world with his company, CareYaya. CareYaya is changing elder care by connecting families with compassionate, motivated college students from top universities. (Think Harvard, Stanford, etc.) This provides affordable care for thousands of families, and introduces tens of thousands of students into the care workforce.

It’s a win-win for everyone!

In this episode, Neal shares all about his caregiving story, practical solutions and hopeful trends that are shaping the future of eldercare in America!

This episode is proudly supported by our friends at Poppins Payroll!

Takeaways

• CareYaya is changing how America Cares for it’s elders.
• Paying the caregiver directly massively cuts the cost of in home care.
• The younger generation is actually interested in caregiving - that is hopeful for us all!
• There’s going to be a demographic shift as the baby boomers age.
• Celebrities are speaking out more - and people in prominent positions about caregiving. Wherever we are feeling ‘lonely’ we realize - wow, this affects us all.
• Employers + Big companies have the ability to support middle-age employees by offering caregiving support.
• Sandwiched caregivers are doing A LOT. Take time to care for yourself - it’s no joke

Links and Resources:

CareYaya

Poppins Payroll - the easiest way to pay your in-home employee. (Think in-home caregiver, your nanny or even your gardener!) Whoever keeps your home running smoothly, Poppins Payroll can simplify payroll, filings and taxes! Use code: SANDWICH to receive one month FREE!

Counterforce Health AI Tool - Appeal your Health Insurance denial using this powerful tool! (For real!)

NIH: National Institute on Aging

Johns Hopkins Caregiving Research

Family Caregiver Alliance - Great resource for Caregiver Support Groups

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Neal Shah

04:49 Innovations in Caregiving: Bridging Gaps and Creating Solutions

07:32 The Care Crisis in America - how can we create change?

11:42 The Role of Technology in Modern Caregiving

14:27 Channeling Guilt into Social Change

18:11 Demographic Trends and the Caregiving Crisis

19:13 Finding Hope

21:41 Supporting Sandwiched Caregivers

24:11 Systemic Changes for Caregiver Support

Being an only child means you learn independence early. You can entertain yourself, make decisions, and figure out anything on your own. But when you land in The Sandwich Generation? That same independence can start to feel a whole lot like, “Wait… am I supposed to do ALL of this myself?!”

In this episode of The Sandwich Generation Pod, Eliesa opens up about the unique reality of being an “only” while caregiving for aging parents, raising a family, managing grief, and carrying the emotional load without siblings to tag in. We’re also joined by Melissa Del Rosario, who shares her deeply personal story of sudden loss, shifting family dynamics, setting boundaries, and learning how to build your village when you don’t automatically have one built in.

Together, we talk about the pros, cons, pressure, freedom, guilt, resilience, and dark humor that come with being an only child caregiver.

If you’re an only child caring for aging parents, navigating family caregiving alone, or trying to survive the chaos of the Sandwich Generation without losing your mind, this episode will make you feel seen, understood, and hopefully laugh a little too.

Because being an only doesn’t mean you’re supposed to do it all alone.

Takeaways

• Only children are superheroes — but you don’t have to carry everything alone.
• Being an Only teaches you independence early. You learn to figure things out yourself.
• That independence can get rocked hard in The Sandwich Generation.
• In a family of three, losing one person changes everything and the whole dynamic shifts.
• Your relationship with a surviving parent often has to be rebuilt after loss. This takes time.
• Boundaries can feel hard as an Only because you feel responsible for everyone.
• A lot of only children become the emotional center of the family. That’s heavy.
• Our friends often become family when you’re an Only. We learn how to build our own village!

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Melissa Del Rosario

02:10 Melissa's Caregiving Story as an Only Child

05:42 Navigating Life and Death Decisions

07:54 The Pressure of Being an Only Child when it's life or death

14:23 Rebuilding Relationships After Loss

16:44 How the Family Dynamic shifts after loss when you are an Only Child

22:29 The Fragility of Codependency

27:28 How do Only Children deal with the guilt?

34:54 Your Friends can be closer than family when you're an Only

40:57 Finding Guidance and Advice when you are an Only

46:41 Empowerment in Independence

48:43 Rethinking Only Child Stereotypes

52:50 Outro