The Power of the Pause with Carrie Slack copertina

The Power of the Pause with Carrie Slack

The Power of the Pause with Carrie Slack

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 Trust me when I tell you that this is the most important episode I’ve ever recorded. My goal is to empower women to agency, authority, and action, but agency comes first. Without agency, the rest is pretty much impossible. And you cannot have agency when you’re afraid. Carrie Slack was the first person on my list of guests I wanted on the podcast. Carrie teaches Empowerment Self-Defense, a mix of martial arts, feminist theory, and practical techniques that in peer-reviewed studies has shown a 68% decrease in sexual assault in women who have completed the course. That’s dramatic, and it’s the message that I want you to understand: You have the means to protect and defend yourself. You just have to learn how. But it is possible and it’s available to learn, today. 1 out of every 6 women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape. 1 in 4 women will experience physical assault in an intimate relationship. I’m not about blaming the victim, and I don’t believe the responsibility of eradicating sexual and physical assault and Intimate Partner Violence rests on women; I believe it rests squarely on the perpetrators. With that being said, if there was a way to learn skills that would enable you to walk through the world without fear, on your terms, would you want to know about it? At one point in this conversation, Carrie and I talk about all the wonderful experiences that women miss out on because of the fear of assault. This makes me incredibly sad. I want women everywhere to move through the world with agency and freedom. I hope this episode contributes to this for you, today. Trigger warnings: assault, sexual assault, domestic violence, intimate partner violence, missing and murdered indigenous women In this episode we discuss: learning from zero at all stages of lifejoy, how meaningful it is, and how it increases resilience empowerment self-defense: what it is and how it differs from conventional self-defensethe power of learning physical techniques and the fierceness it engendersthe power of being victorious over your own fear and how you can take that out into lifehow understanding the framework of gender roles and expectations empowers women to be in the world in a new way the awareness needed to move through the world with agencythe way our internal messaging of being “nice” no matter what puts us in positions of dangerour fear of making someone else “feel bad” and how it co-opts our own intuitionthe skill of giving yourself permission to leave and how to practice itStacey Ramsower’s actionable practice of taking a pause from ep 1how to create a space to determine what is actually happening and what we actually wantasking ourselves what we owe any one person in terms of time and energy, and how that applies to all areas of our lifewhat it takes to tolerate the discomfort of making other people unhappy, and why this is so essential to our own wellbeing and safetyhow fawning is a deeply-held survival mechanism and not a reason to be feel shamethe evolutionary reasons we developed fawning and why it makes sense to approach risk with this behaviorhow learning to say no and tolerate discomfort requires practice and toolsdeveloping a personal bill of rights of how we deserve to be treated and what our rights are in any particular situationthe studies that show a huge reduction in attempted - not just completed - assault after completing an empowerment self-defense course and how that relates to the clarity of knowing your own rightshow perpetrators of sexual assault push to see what resistance they will encounter and how setting a boundary early is often very effectivewhy the reaction to setting a boundary is an indication of character and intenthow boundaries are loving and help us to be good to one anotherthe principles of empowered self defense: think, yell, leave, fight, and tellthe power of awareness, noticing, and intuitionhow part of “think” is getting accurate information about the threat of violence to womenthe danger of misinformation, such as the belief that fighting back or yelling increases the risk of harm when the opposite is actually truethe evidence that resistance drastically increases our chances of escaping sexual assaultthe importance of the conversation around what women can learn, do, and practice to increase their agency in the worldthe misinformation about where assaults actually happen and what we miss out as a resultthe fear-based messaging of the last decades and how that has impacted women’s agency and enjoyment of life experiencesthe importance of believing your intuition and embodied experienceusing your voice to speak up for yourself and others and to express your boundaries clearlythe five-word technique to keep your boundaries clear and knownthe practice of learning how to leave the roomthe reality of Intimate Partner Violence and the violence against women, particularly those in marginalized populations the compassion and ...
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