A guest who brings her own dish, eats only that, and pulls a face at yours. So the host sends her home with a doggy bag of the food she wouldn't eat. A mother-in-law who has claimed the good holiday for ten years running. Two letters from Vaughan, both about the same thing: who gets to decide.

Plus the holiday group chat. The longest message you've ever seen, a reply to a question from nine messages ago, and one uncle who sends a thumbs-up. To what, Frank? What have you agreed to?

Joseph reads both letters, torches neither woman who wrote in, and admits that one disappointed "oh, okay then" on the phone and he'd offer to host both families, cook two turkeys, and pick everybody up. And bring back his container.

This episode is brought to you by Savor Us Catering in Vaughan. Elvira and her team cater across the GTA. Five percent off your first order, code in the free BTC Magazine app, App Store or Google Play, search BTC Magazine.

BOOK SIGNING: Sunday, October 18, 2 to 4 PM at Hillcrest Mall in Richmond Hill. Joseph will be signing The Dad Diaries and reading a passage. Come say hi.

THE DAD DIARIES, Joseph's memoir, is out now, published by Cormorant Books. Signed copies at thedaddiaries.com, also on Amazon and Indigo.

Got a mess of your own? Send it to info@jeopublishing.com.
More at betweenthecoversmag.com, or read the magazine free in the BTC Magazine app, iOS and Android.
Bitch Fest is a Between the Covers production.