We like to believe that whether someone is a victim should depend on what happened to them.

But often, it depends just as much on who we think they are.

In 1995, Sally McNeil shot and killed her husband, Ray McNeil. She said she acted in self-defense after years of abuse. But Sally did not look like the kind of victim people expected to see. She was a Marine, a competitive bodybuilder, physically powerful, quick tempered, and known professionally as “Killer Sally.”

And those details became part of the case against her.

In this episode of The Human Pattern, we look beyond the question of Sally McNeil’s guilt or innocence to examine something much bigger: why some people are readily recognized as victims while others have to prove they deserve the label.

We explore the “ideal victim,” the just world hypothesis, defensive attribution, moral typecasting, counterfactual thinking, and the uncomfortable ways our brains can turn a person’s strength, choices, or imperfections into evidence against their own victimhood.

We also look at how these patterns extend far beyond one courtroom, from domestic violence and self-defense to the victims targeted by the Green River Killer and the everyday judgments we make when something bad happens to someone else.

Because victims are not always passive. They are not always likable. They do not always make the choices we think we would make.

And sometimes, the moment someone stops looking like our idea of a victim is the moment we stop asking what happened to them.

This episode is sponsored by Work Stream Systems.

Work Stream Systems helps businesses automate repetitive tasks with CRM systems built around the way your business actually works, from following up with leads and keeping track of customers to scheduling appointments and sending reminders.

Visit Work Stream Systems and tell them Liv from The Human Pattern sent you to hear about special offers available to listeners.

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