The Parentification PlayBook: It is Always the Parent's job to Parent
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The Parentification PlayBook: It is Always the Parent's job to Parent
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The provided source is an essay by Michelle de Havilland, CEO of BlackGate and founding partner of MD Coach (www.MDCoach.co.uk), that explores the concept of parentification—the premature assignment of adult emotional and practical responsibilities to children. De Havilland argues that parentification is an insidious form of psychological damage, explaining that children's brains lack the neurological capacity to manage complex adult issues like emotional regulation or financial crises, citing research that the prefrontal cortex is not fully developed until around age 25. The text thoroughly outlines both emotional and practical forms of parentification and details the lasting psychological impacts on adults, including anxiety, difficulty with boundaries, and impaired identity formation. Finally, the essay addresses the challenges parentified adults face when transitioning into appropriate elder care roles for their aging parents, providing coaching frameworks for establishing boundaries and separating past trauma from present adult responsibilities.