Most advice about boundaries says: “If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no.”

But most of real life doesn't look or feel like that.

In this episode, we talk about why boundaries aren’t actually black and white—and why so many women (especially moms) feel like they’re failing when they try to force clear yes-or-no decisions in complex relationships and decision making.

The truth is… most of your life lives in the messy middle.

You’re navigating your kids, your partner, your parents, your work, your capacity—and suddenly it’s not a clean “no.” It’s a “maybe,” a “not right now,” a “I want to want to,” or a “this used to be a yes, but it’s not anymore.”

We take a somatic approach to boundaries, because boundaries aren’t just something you say—they’re something you feel, notice, and respond to in real time.

Inside this episode, we cover:

• why most boundary struggles aren’t a simple yes or no
• how your nervous system shapes your ability to feel and set boundaries
• what “micro yeses” and “micro no’s” look like in everyday life
• why you might not feel your “no” until later (and how to trust that)
• boundaries as behavior—not just words
• how co-regulation impacts your capacity and decisions
• using consent as a model for understanding the full range between yes and no
• soft no, sad no, and hard no—and when each matters
• how to set a boundary even when you feel guilt, discomfort, or doubt
• why overexplaining doesn’t actually prevent discomfort
• learning to trust yourself to change your mind

This episode is for the woman who is thoughtful, self-aware, and carrying a lot—
and is ready for boundaries that actually reflect her real capacity, not just what sounds good in theory.

If you’ve ever thought,
“Why is this so hard for me?”
or
“Why can’t I just say no?”

This conversation will give you language, permission, and a more honest way forward.

Want to go deeper?
Catch the replay of The Motherload Workshop replay here: https://themotherhoodmentor.myflodesk.com/q4pm4wekhb

or book a drop in coaching call here: https://calendly.com/themotherhoodmentor/drop-in-1-1-support-call-clone-1

Send us Fan Mail

If you’re ready to stop living on autopilot and start leading your life with deep presence, I’d love to work with you. Book a free interest call here: Click Here

💌 Want more? Follow me on Instagram @themotherhoodmentor for somatic tools, nervous system support, and real-talk on high-functioning burnout, ambition, healing perfectionism, and motherhood. And also pretty epic meme drops.

🎧 Did you love this episode? Be sure to follow and please take a quick moment to leave a review and send this episode to a friend. I'd love to hear from you on how this podcast impacted you, send me a DM or an email.

For many moms, that quiet “I’m fine” isn’t actually fine. It’s a nervous system pattern of holding it all together under bracing and control.

When you’re the one holding everything together - the schedules, the emotions, the invisible labor -your body often learns to stay braced. Literally and figuratively holding your breath.

In this episode, we sit down with Tabatha Debruyn to talk about 9D Breath work and somatic breath work and why it’s one of the fastest ways to shift your nervous system state without forcing yourself to think your way out of stress.

We unpack what suppression looks like in high-functioning women:

functional freeze, low-level anxiety, mind fog, and the subtle bracing that earns gold stars but slowly drains your joy.

Tabitha shares her own story through grief, caregiving, panic attacks, and insomnia — and how breath work helped her feel emotions she didn’t even realize she had been holding.

Together, we explore how breath can become a practical daily tool for nervous system regulation, emotional processing, and building more capacity for life’s stressors.

You’ll also hear and try a few simple breathing practices with us — including a down regulation breath that supports rest and digestion, and an activation breath that gently energizes the body while building resilience to stress. Because nervous systems and energy are meant to move and be dynamically alive. Learn how to change your state with breath work, one of the tools and skills always available to us in the middle of conflict, hard moments, and motherhood.

If you’ve ever felt irritated by advice like “just calm down,” this conversation offers something different: real regulation, not playing calm.

We talk about co-regulation with kids, why moms often become the emotional thermostat in the home, and simple practices like humming and singing that stimulate the vagus nerve and help your body shift out of survival mode.

And if breath work has ever felt intimidating, too “woo,” or too time consuming, this episode will leave you with clear language, grounded science, and tools you can use in just a few minutes.

Where to find Tabatha:

Website

Instagram

Free resources & email list

– A 7-minute cinematic introduction to 9D Breathwork

– A 5-minute nervous system reset

– A 7-minute guided morning routine

Book : An Inspired Guide to Living the Life of Your Dreams, is available on Amazon. It offers reflective prompts and practices that support many of the ideas we explored together.

Send us Fan Mail

If you’re ready to stop living on autopilot and start leading your life with deep presence, I’d love to work with you. Book a free interest call here: Click Here

💌 Want more? Follow me on Instagram @themotherhoodmentor for somatic tools, nervous system support, and real-talk on high-functioning burnout, ambition, healing perfectionism, and motherhood. And also pretty epic meme drops.

🎧 Did you love this episode? Be sure to follow and please take a quick moment to leave a review and send this episode to a friend. I'd love to hear from you on how this podcast impacted you, send me a DM or an email.

You don’t usually see a high-functioning woman fall apart in a dramatic way.
It happens quietly. Subtly. Responsibly.

To the point where everything still looks fine… but inside, something feels off.

If you’re still getting everything done but feel numb, foggy, disconnected, or low-key resentful, this isn’t you being ungrateful.
It’s what burnout looks like when your nervous system has been running on pressure for too long.

In this episode, we talk about the hidden signs of high-functioning burnout—the ones that don’t stop your productivity but slowly drain your aliveness. We unpack why “just push through” works so well… until it doesn’t, and how burnout starts leaking into motherhood, relationships, and your sense of self.

We also get into identity fatigue—that quiet thought of “what if I just stopped caring?”—and the reality of perfectionism as both a driver and a weight you can’t sustainably carry.

Then we shift into something most people skip: burnout prevention.
Not waiting until you crash—but learning how to read the early signals.

We talk about:

• why high-functioning coping hides burnout
• subtle signs like numbness, brain fog, and disconnection
• resentment when support feels uneven or one-sided
• how strength becomes rigid (and why flexibility matters more)
• the concept of “prescribed burns” to prevent full collapse
• somatic work, boundaries, and building real capacity
• what it actually looks like to receive support without guilt

I also share a real-time look at my current season of motherhood and homeschooling, and why tightening my boundaries (especially with social media) became necessary when my margin shrank.

If you’ve been holding a lot for a long time… this will feel familiar.

Listen, send it to a friend who carries a lot too, and tell me what hit.

Want to learn and hear more about healing while staying wildly capable as a high functioner? Join the email list here

Follow along on Instagram

Want to work with me? Find out more here

Send us Fan Mail

If you’re ready to stop living on autopilot and start leading your life with deep presence, I’d love to work with you. Book a free interest call here: Click Here

💌 Want more? Follow me on Instagram @themotherhoodmentor for somatic tools, nervous system support, and real-talk on high-functioning burnout, ambition, healing perfectionism, and motherhood. And also pretty epic meme drops.

🎧 Did you love this episode? Be sure to follow and please take a quick moment to leave a review and send this episode to a friend. I'd love to hear from you on how this podcast impacted you, send me a DM or an email.