Who am I when I’m not managing someone else’s moods?

Who am I when I’m not bracing for the explosion, calculating the cost of my resistance, or shrinking myself to keep the peace?

In this raw and deeply honest episode of The Messy Middle, I’m diving into one of the most disorienting questions we face after narcissistic abuse and coercive control:

Who am I without him?

This isn’t just about being single. It’s about identity loss after emotional abuse. It’s about what happens to your nervous system when you’ve spent years adapting to volatility, managing someone else’s emotional temperature, and surviving through hypervigilance.

In this episode, I talk about:

• How coercive control slowly rewires my nervous system
• Why I felt lost, untethered, and confused after leaving
• The grief no one warned me about: mourning the version of me who survived
• Why “missing him” was often my body missing predictability, not the abuse
• How his voice tried to live on inside my inner critic
• The subtle, powerful steps I took to rebuild my identity safely

If you’ve ever caught yourself saying, “I don’t even know what I like anymore,” I’ve been there too.

What I’ve learned is this: that identity fracture isn’t weakness. It’s conditioning. And rebuilding doesn’t happen through pressure or performance. It happens through small, nervous-system-safe choices that help me trust myself again.

I also share a simple, practical exercise I use to reconnect with my body’s preferences and rebuild self-trust, one tiny decision at a time.

If you feel like you’re between versions of yourself, not who you were but not yet who you’re becoming, you’re not broken.

You’re in the messy middle.

And that space? It’s where autonomy, selfhood, and real freedom begin.

📩 Send in YOUR questions and get them answered on the podcast!

📢 Get a Laster Coaching call for only $150. A 45-minute session to get to know me, experience my approach, and receive a personalized plan to kickstart your healing journey. Perfect for testing the waters before diving deeper.

🎬 Watch Unfu*kwithable Boundaries Masterclass for FREE. Learn how setting clear boundaries can change your life for good and where to start!

📝 Get the Somatic Keys Course. Learn how to recognize your signals, regulate your responses, and reclaim your nervous system as a place of truth.

What happens when you’ve been gaslit in your relationship… and then gaslit again by the medical system?

In this episode of The Messy Middle, I respond to a listener question that so many women quietly carry:

What do you do when you’ve been dismissed, minimized, and made to doubt yourself - not just by a partner, but by doctors?

This isn’t about “bad bedside manner.” This is about institutional gaslighting. And for survivors of emotional abuse, it can feel like retraumatization all over again.

In this episode, we unpack:

• Why the modern medical system was never designed around women’s bodies
• How trauma shows up as chronic illness, autoimmune issues, hormonal chaos, and nervous system dysregulation
• Why “everything looks normal” can be a form of erasure
• How medical dismissal mirrors coercive control dynamics
• The link between long-term emotional abuse and physical symptoms
• Reclaiming yourself as your own authority

This episode is both validating and activating. It’s about understanding that your body is not betraying you - it’s communicating. And you are allowed to believe it.

You are allowed to:

• Fire doctors who dismiss you
• Walk out of unsafe appointments
• Stop over-explaining yourself
• Trust your lived experience over someone else’s credentials

Becoming unfuckwithable sometimes starts with one quiet, radical decision:

I believe myself. Even when the system doesn’t.

If you’ve ever left an appointment feeling small, foggy, shaky, or wondering if you imagined your own symptoms - this episode is for you.

📩 Send in YOUR questions and get them answered on the podcast!

📢 Get a Laster Coaching call for only $150. A 45-minute session to get to know me, experience my approach, and receive a personalized plan to kickstart your healing journey. Perfect for testing the waters before diving deeper.

🎬 Watch Unfu*kwithable Boundaries Masterclass for FREE. Learn how setting clear boundaries can change your life for good and where to start!

📝 Get the Somatic Keys Course. Learn how to recognize your signals, regulate your responses, and reclaim your nervous system as a place of truth.

What happens when your body knows the truth before your mind is ready to admit it?

In this deeply personal episode of The Messy Middle, I reflect on a powerful message from a listener who paused the podcast to do inner child work in real time: hugging a childhood toy, asking what she needed to hear, and speaking words of truth her body had been waiting for.

That moment wasn’t random. It wasn’t “woo.” It was healing.

This episode is about learning to trust the moments your body speaks before your brain catches up - especially after narcissistic or emotional abuse, where self-trust has been systematically dismantled.

In this episode, we unpack:

• Why intuition gets overridden in abusive dynamics
• How gaslighting trains you to doubt your own knowing
• What somatic healing actually looks like in real life
• Why you don’t need full memories or flashbacks to heal
• How to gently rebuild trust with your intuition without forcing it

Through lived experience, client stories, and practical examples, this episode reminds you of something essential:

You are not broken. You are remembering.

If you’ve ever had a gut feeling you ignored, whispered truth to a younger version of yourself, or felt something shift in your body before you could explain it - this episode is for you.

📩 Send in YOUR questions and get them answered on the podcast!

📢 Get a Laster Coaching call for only $150. A 45-minute session to get to know me, experience my approach, and receive a personalized plan to kickstart your healing journey. Perfect for testing the waters before diving deeper.

🎬 Watch Unfu*kwithable Boundaries Masterclass for FREE. Learn how setting clear boundaries can change your life for good and where to start!

📝 Get the Somatic Keys Course. Learn how to recognize your signals, regulate your responses, and reclaim your nervous system as a place of truth.