Jordan Neely’s story in Man in the Mirror by Anand Giridharadas shows how quickly mental illness and homelessness become a label that shuts the door on compassion. I don’t know what it is to live without a home. I do know mental illness: I’ve lived with severe bipolar for over thirty years, including debilitating psychosis in the early years of my diagnosis. I share why I understand some of the behavior we so often fear, and three small ways to practice compassion, even when we don’t understand.

I’m not here to discuss the trial or its outcome. Jordan Neely was fourteen when his mother was murdered. By 2023, he was living on the streets of New York, and when he died on a subway train after being held in a chokehold, the story most people heard was much shorter: a homeless man, mental health issues. When I was at my most unwell, I had doctors, treatment, and people who stayed with me. So many people living with mental illness on the streets have none of that.

I close with words that shook me to my core: “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” These words are often attributed to the philosopher J. Krishnamurti.

If you live with mental illness, love someone who does, or have ever looked away from someone struggling on the street, this conversation is for us. Share this with someone who cares about mental health and their city.

In this episode you will learn:

• Jordan Neely’s story: losing his mother at fourteen, and his life before that day on the subway
• The media shorthand “had mental health issues”, and how it ends our compassion and curiosity to understand more
• Mental illness and violent crime: why people with severe mental illness are around 11 times more likely to be victims of violent crime, according to a Northwestern University study
• Living with bipolar and psychosis: my early years of losing control, and the care that changed my story
• Why we look away from people experiencing homelessness
• Three small ways to practice compassion, even when we don’t understand

The book: Man in the Mirror: Hope, Struggle, and Belonging in an American City by Anand Giridharadas (Knopf, 2026)

Research referenced: Northwestern University study of violent crime against people with severe mental illness (Teplin et al., 2005)

Episode 98, Should You Try IV Ketamine? | My Experience, Bipolar & Neuroplasticity, is where I share the IV ketamine treatment I mention in this episode: [YouTube link]

Connect with Lulu:
Website: https://www.luluessey.com/
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LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucille-marie-essey/
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This is an inside job. Please share this episode with people you love. And follow while you are here 💛

Should you try IV ketamine? I’ve lived with bipolar for over thirty years, and after 18 IV ketamine infusions, I share my personal experience of ketamine therapy for bipolar depression, how I support neuroplasticity in the two weeks after every infusion, and why ketamine and psychedelics are in the news, from the United Nations to the FDA.

I am not a clinician, and nothing in this episode is medical advice. Please make any decision about your treatment together with your psychiatrist or mental health professional.

This month, the use of ketamine for depression and psychedelics was discussed at a mental health leadership forum at the United Nations, and this week I shared my lived experience as the patient on a panel hosted by Ember Health. Eighteen infusions in, ketamine is a foundational part of my mental healthcare. People ask me one question more than any other: “Should I try IV ketamine?” My answer might not be what you expect.

If you live with bipolar depression or depression, love someone who does, or are curious about ketamine therapy, this conversation is for us. Share this with someone who is considering ketamine therapy.

In this episode you will learn:

• IV ketamine for bipolar depression: what 18 infusions have changed in my mental healthcare
• Ketamine and medication: how I went from four medications to one mood stabilizer, working with my psychiatrist
• My honest answer to “Should I try IV ketamine?”
• Ketamine and neuroplasticity: the daily practices I use in the two weeks after every infusion, when the brain is more able to form new connections
• Why I set an intention before each ketamine infusion
• How the ketamine and psychedelics conversation becomes more meaningful when it comes back to everyday life
• Why I submitted a public comment to the FDA about IV ketamine for depression and insurance coverage

Listen to my ketamine series on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts:
Part 1, Episode 69, 30 Years of Trying to Fix My Brain: https://youtu.be/cvlg94ZfSpg
Part 2, Episode 70, What Happened When I Said Yes: https://youtu.be/2OBG69hw9h4

Part 3, Episode 71, What’s On The Other Side of IV Ketamine: https://youtu.be/arpbHu18YXQ]

I am a patient at Ember Health, with no affiliation and no payment of any kind.
Ember Health: https://emberhealth.co/

Connect with Lulu:
Website: https://www.luluessey.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lulu.essey/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucille-marie-essey/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lulu.essey

This is an inside job. Please share this episode with people you love. And follow while you are here 💛

What makes you human in the age of AI? As AI-generated music, images and AI slop fill our feeds, this episode is about AI anxiety, everyday creativity for our mental health, and the part of us that is irreplaceable. So much of what we scroll past is now made by machines, and many of us are actively looking for things made by real people.

In August, Australia's music charts banned songs made wholly by AI, after an AI cover of Madonna's Like a Prayer climbed the dance charts. The Australian Recording Industry Association said it wanted to promote the human nature of artistry. The flood of content like this is why Merriam-Webster chose slop as its 2025 word of the year. Slop is their word for low-quality digital content produced in large amounts by AI.

This moment brings The Inside Job, Out in the World to a close. Each week, I have taken one moment from out in the world and paired it with a past episode that speaks directly to what is underneath it. Because the work we do on this podcast, building Mental Fitness, self-worth and Self-Love from the inside out, is not done in isolation. It shows up in the world, in our culture, in our news.

After the introduction you will hear Episode 48, which I recorded a year ago. It is pure joy. I talk about AI directly and why I choose to treat it as a partnership and a collaboration. AI is task-orientated. We are not. AI needs us to exist. We do not need AI in order to exist. I share how everyday creativity rewires our brain and helps calm anxiety, with insight from Martha Beck, why most creative blocks are perfectionism in disguise, and why adults need play too. I'd like to be clear: the worries about AI and jobs are real, and they deserve their own serious conversation. This episode is about what makes us human.

If AI has left you feeling anxious, or life has left you feeling flat and uncreative, this conversation is for us. This series is not about the exceptional. It's about the human. About us as humans.

In this episode you'll learn:

• Why Australia banned AI-generated songs from its music charts
• What makes us human in the age of AI, and why I choose to treat AI as a partnership
• Why every one of us is creative, whatever our job title
• How everyday creativity rewires your brain and helps calm anxiety
• Martha Beck's insight on creativity as a balm for anxiety
• Why most creative blocks are perfectionism in disguise
• Why adults need play too, and what my childhood pile-ups taught me about joy
• One simple experiment to try this week: disrupt one automatic pattern

Connect with Lulu:
Website: https://www.luluessey.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lulu.essey/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucille-marie-essey/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lulu.essey

This is an inside job. Please share this episode with people you love. And follow while you are here 💛

Does your sleep tracker tell you how you slept before you ask yourself how you feel? Orthosomnia, an obsession with the perfect sleep score, is growing, and this episode is about trusting ourselves and listening to our body again. When we need a screen to tell us how we feel, the data has started to outrank our knowing.

The BBC recently shared the story of a woman who spent three years obsessed with her sleep score. One night she was awake from 1 AM until 5 AM, and in the morning her watch congratulated her on a great night's sleep. The device said one thing. Her body knew another. Sleep expert Dr Neil Stanley told the BBC that when a tracker gives us a number, the number becomes a target, and we start worrying about our sleep based on figures.

That moment continues The Inside Job, Out in the World, my four-week series. Each week I take one moment from out in the world and pair it with a past episode that speaks directly to what is underneath it. Because the work we do on this podcast, building Mental Fitness, self-worth and Self-Love from the inside out, is not done in isolation. It shows up in the world, in our culture, in our news. This is week three.

After the introduction you will hear Episode 76 in full. I recorded it after a visit to a sleep specialist at New York University's Langone Health, where I expected a sleep study and was told to stop watching the clock and listen to my body. I share how wellness terms like nervous system regulation, polyvagal theory, co-regulation and somatic practices can pull us into our heads and away from our bodies, and why we do not need the terminology to do deep, real inner work. I'd like to be clear: the science of sleep is real and it matters, and diagnosed sleep disorders need medical care. What I am looking at is where we are placing our attention.

If you have ever let a number tell you how you feel, this conversation is for us. This series is not about the exceptional. It's about the human. About us as humans.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• What orthosomnia is, and why doctors are seeing more of it

• How a number on a sleep tracker becomes a target, and why that can keep us up at night

• What a sleep specialist told me when I went looking for answers about my sleep

• Why reading about the nervous system can take us further away from listening to our body

• Why you can do deep, real inner work without ever using the words nervous system regulation

• Why simple acts of self-compassion, like a hand on your heart or a walk, count as doing the work

• The one question to ask when reading about your health leaves you feeling worse

Connect with Lulu:

Website: https://www.luluessey.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lulu.essey/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucille-marie-essey/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lulu.essey

This is an inside job. Please share this episode with people you love. And follow while you are here 💛

How do you keep showing up when nobody's cheering? We know how important consistency is to achieving almost anything. And consistency feels hardest when there is no external validation, nobody cheering us on, nothing that tells us to keep going. This episode is about where the strength to keep showing up comes from when the cheering has not arrived yet.

This year, the New York Knicks, one of the most famous teams in basketball, won the NBA championship after a 53 year wait. New York lost its mind. Grown adults crying in the streets, strangers hugging strangers on the subway. I saw something underneath all that celebration. I saw 53 years of showing up before a single piece of confetti fell.

That moment continues The Inside Job, Out in the World, my four-week series. Each week I take one moment from out in the world and pair it with a past episode that speaks directly to what is underneath it. This is week two.

After the introduction you will hear Episode 50 in full. I recorded it at my own milestone, fifty episodes of pressing record even when I did not feel ready. I share what imperfect action really looks like, the difference between modeling yourself on someone and comparing yourself to them, and the moment recognition finally arrived, and what I had to learn about receiving it without needing it as fuel.

If you have ever kept going long before anyone was cheering, this conversation is for us. This series is not about the exceptional. It's about the human. About us as humans.

IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN

• What the Knicks' 53 year wait reveals about every one of us, far beyond one team

• Why the years of showing up nobody sees are what make the celebrated moment possible

• Why imperfect action means showing up without the thing you thought you needed

• Why the dictionary definition of Self-Love falls short, and what it really takes to love yourself

• The crucial difference between modeling and comparison, and how comparison slides into criticism

• How to receive external validation without needing it as fuel to keep going

• Why consistency and practice create transformation, not perfection

Connect with Lulu:

Website: https://www.luluessey.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lulu.essey/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucille-marie-essey/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lulu.essey

This is an inside job. Please share this episode with people you love. And follow while you are here 💛

If nobody's watching, do we still matter? Self-worth gets tested every time we look at our social media numbers, the views, the likes, the followers. This episode is about what those numbers do to our sense of worth, and the one truth that holds when those numbers fall.

A couple of weeks ago at the US Open, during Naomi Osaka's match, a chair umpire paused play because a suite full of influencers was mid photo shoot, ring lights and the whole nine yards. The internet piled on instantly. I saw something different in that footage. I saw a question I know from my own lowest numbers behind this mic.

That moment opens The Inside Job, Out in the World, my new four-week series. Each week I take one moment from out in the world and pair it with a past episode that speaks directly to what is underneath it.

After this introduction you will hear Episode 43 in full. I recorded it with no script, on the day I discovered that of YouTube's 2.7 billion monthly users, 37 had watched my last video at that time. I walk myself through my WHOLE Framework in real time, in the middle of the self-doubt, and I land on the only answer I have found that is true.

If your worth has ever risen and fallen with your numbers, this conversation is for us. This series is not about the exceptional. It's about the human. About us as humans.

IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN

• What the viral US Open influencer moment reveals about all of us, far beyond one suite

• The question hiding underneath the need to capture every moment

• What 37 views did to my sense of worth, and what I did next

• How to be aware of when you are reaching for external validation in views, likes, and followers

• The WHOLE Framework, applied in real time in the middle of self-doubt

• Why the promise of overnight success keeps hurting us

• The one truth that never changes, no matter how big or how small your numbers are

Connect with Lulu:

Website: https://www.luluessey.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lulu.essey/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucille-marie-essey/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lulu.essey

This is an inside job. Please share this episode with people you love. And follow while you are here 💛

RM of BTS stood before the United Nations in 2018 and gave one of the greatest Self-Love speeches ever heard: speak yourself. But the moment that stopped me was one sentence, the one where he claimed the very label people used to dismiss him. Episode 93 of Self-Love Through Their Eyes goes inside the speech, the UNICEF Love Myself campaign that came a full year before it, and the story of a boy from a small town who stopped hearing his own voice, and found it again in front of the world. I was living in Hong Kong then, when BTS were the air we breathed, and this speech found me at the exact right time. We close with a practice to try this week with one person you love: one true thing, spoken in your own voice.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why "idol" was a put-down in K-pop, and what it meant that RM led with it at the United Nations
• The UNICEF Love Myself campaign that came before the speech, and the one belief it was built on
• What happened when a boy from Ilsan started seeing himself through other people's eyes, and how that story is ours too
• Why he calls his faults and mistakes the brightest stars in the constellation of his life
• The responsibility that comes with learning to love yourself, and why Self-Love was never meant to stay locked inside you
• A simple practice to try this week with one person you love: one true thing, given freely

Resources Mentioned:

• RM's full speech at the United Nations, official UNICEF video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTe4f-bBEKg
• Full speech transcript, from UNICEF: https://www.unicef.org/press-releases/we-have-learned-love-ourselves-so-now-i-urge-you-speak-yourself
• The LOVE MYSELF campaign, BTS x UNICEF: https://www.love-myself.org

Connect with Lulu:
Website: https://www.luluessey.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lulu.essey/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucille-marie-essey/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lulu.essey

This is an inside job. Please share this episode with people you love. And follow while you are here 💛

Love is a choice, not a feeling we wait for. bell hooks' "all about love" is centered around that truth, and I know the weight of it personally: I first picked up her book over 15 years ago and put it down twice, stopped in the Preface by what it showed me about my own story.

Episode 92 of Self-Love Through Their Eyes goes inside the book and looks at what love is made of, why real love cannot be sold to us, and the chapter she found hardest to write, her own Self-Love. Because the woman who defined love for a generation still had to practise it. And so do we.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why bell hooks insisted on a definition of love
• What changes when love becomes a verb, a choice we practise, instead of a feeling we wait for
• Why the chapter on Self-Love was the hardest one for her to write, and what her honesty reveals about knowing the work versus living it
• The inconvenient bell hooks: her warning about comfort that asks nothing of us, and why "lovelessness is a boon to consumerism"
• How fear stands between us and love, and what choosing love in the face of fear looks like
• One simple practice for the week: choosing love on the days you feel no love at all

Resources Mentioned:

• All About Love: New Visions, bell hooks, 2000
• The Road Less Traveled, M. Scott Peck, 1978
• bell hooks, her life, love and legacy, from Berea College: https://www.berea.edu/centers/the-bell-hooks-center/about-bell

Connect with Lulu:Website: https://www.luluessey.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lulu.essey/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lucille-marie-essey/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lulu.esseyThis is an inside job. Please share this episode with people you love. And follow while you are here 💛