In this episode of The Light inside, The discussion centered on Jeffrey Besecker's extensive experiences and insights related to trauma recovery, identity, and therapeutic practices. Besecker highlighted the importance of safety and coherence in the recovery process, noting that individuals often struggle with feelings of threat that can hinder their progress. He introduced the concept of double loop learning as a framework for adapting to experiences and emphasized the significance of pacing and sequencing in therapeutic interventions. The conversation aimed to explore how community support and individual experiences can enhance the healing journey.

Mike Cuevas shared his personal journey with dissociative identity disorder (DID), detailing the impact of misdiagnosis and the challenges he faced in understanding his identity. He recounted how silence became a coping mechanism during his formative years, leading to feelings of shame. The discussion underscored the need for a coherent approach to integrating insights about DID with the body's capacity to process those insights, emphasizing the importance of creating a safe therapeutic space for effective healing.

The conversation also delved into the role of the practitioner's state of mind and co-regulation in therapy. A conference room participant shared personal experiences and the development of mental exercises to manage emotional triggers, introducing the BAR technique as a tool for emotional regulation. Besecker and Mike explored the significance of recognizing bodily sensations in differentiating identity states, which can lead to greater clarity and peace. They discussed the transformative power of empathy in processing past traumas and the importance of adaptive containment in therapeutic relationships.

Mike reflected on how his personal development has influenced his parenting, particularly in managing stressful situations with his children. He shared an incident where he maintained calmness during a confrontation, demonstrating the value of mindfulness and emotional regulation. The discussion concluded with Besecker expressing gratitude for Mike's insights and the potential for future collaborations, highlighting the unique and revelatory nature of their conversation.

Time Stamps

00:00:00 - Introduction to Coherence and DID

00:01:13 - Sponsor Message: Mint Mobile

00:02:27 - Understanding Dissociative Identity Disorder

00:03:10 - Mike Cuevas Joins the Conversation

00:04:11 - Early Signs of Dissociation

00:05:26 - Insight vs. Capacity

00:06:38 - Adaptive Coping Patterns

00:07:43 - Shame and Guilt in Misdiagnosis.

00:09:09 - Therapeutic Journey Begins

00:10:24 - Boxing as a Therapeutic Outlet

00:12:03 - Stigmatization and Adaptive Survival

00:13:07 - Pacing and Sequencing in Therapy

00:14:38 - Visceral Trauma and Sensory Overload

00:16:47 - Connecting Boxing to Somatic Responses

00:18:46 - Learning to Feel Safe

00:20:19 - Somatic Attunement and Sensory Perception

00:22:05 - The B.A.R. Technique

00:24:45 - Double Loop Learning

00:26:11 - Identifying Distinct Identity Stateslf.

00:28:20 - Chaos as Opportunity

00:30:11 - Empathy vs. Sympathy

00:32:49 - Claiming Sovereignty

00:35:04 - Adaptive Containment

00:39:10 - Presence and Capacity

00:41:05 - Body Assigns Meaning

00:50:34 - The Role of Pause in Processing

Credits

• Host: Jeffrey Besecker
• Guest: Mike Cuevas
• Executive Program Director: Anna Getz
• Production Team: Aloft Media Group
• Music: Courtesy of Aloft Media Group

Connect with host Jeffrey Besecker on LinkedIn.

In this episode of The Light Inside, Jeffrey Besecker is joined by Tena Cacic for a grounded, nuanced conversation on how early childhood attachment experiences shape adult identity, performance roles, and dissociative coping patterns—especially within helping and therapeutic professions.

Together, they explore how achievement, productivity, and over-functioning can quietly become protective strategies rooted in early relational environments. Rather than framing these patterns as pathology, the conversation examines them as adaptive responses that can later harden into identity, limiting flexibility, relational attunement, and therapeutic presence.

Throughout the episode, Jeffrey and Tena differentiate somatic signals from narrative overlays, highlight the risks of epistemic and spiritual flattening, and unpack how unresolved practitioner patterns—such as rescuing, serial fixing, and over-responsibility—can subtly shape client dynamics.

This episode is particularly relevant for clinicians, coaches, and educators seeking to deepen their awareness of counter-transference, performance-based identity, dissociative bypassing, and capacity-building without collapsing complexity or bypassing discomfort.

Timestamps

00:00 — Episode framing
• Introducing the focus on early attachment, identity, and therapeutic relevance

04:30 — Lived experience and trauma awareness
• Tena shares personal experiences that shaped her understanding of helplessness, control, and internal role shifts

10:15 — Victim–rescuer–persecutor dynamics
• How early relational patterns evolve into adult performance and protection roles

15:45 — Childhood development and pre-verbal imprinting
• Why somatic cues precede cognition and narrative meaning-making

21:30 — Over-responsibility in therapeutic roles
• The subtle line between holding space and over-functioning for clients

27:00 — Somatic signals vs. belief systems
• Distinguishing embodied emotional intensity from post-hoc interpretation

33:30 — Cultural conditioning and vulnerability
• How inherited narratives shape children’s sense of threat, safety, and capacity

39:30 — Performance, flow, and bypassing
• When calm, productivity, or “peace” becomes another form of avoidance

45:30 — Identity rewards and letting go of the story
• How suffering, competence, and achievement can become sublimated anchors

52:30 — Nervous system regulation and productivity
• Reframing performance without dissociation or over-control

59:00 — Closing reflections
• Relational attunement, differentiation, and building adaptive capacity over identity rigidity

Credits

• Host: Jeffrey Besecker
• Guest: Tena Cacic
• Executive Program Director: Anna Getz
• Production Team: Aloft Media Group
• Music: Courtesy of Aloft Media Group

Connect with host Jeffrey Besecker on LinkedIn.

Host: Jeffrey Besecker
Guest: D’ Layne Benson, Registered Nurse and Therapeutic Breathwork Facilitator

In this episode of The Light Inside, we delve into the concept of "false calm" and its implications for emotional regulation and mental health. Our guest, D’ Layne Benson, shares her insights on how over-resourcing and cognitive control can mute adaptive feedback signals, leading to short-term quiet but long-term signal loss.

We explore how containment and pacing can build capacity, reduce rupture, and allow coherence to emerge without interpretive intrusion. D’ Layne explains that true regulation isn't about feeling better but about staying present with what's activated. We discuss how false calm can keep individuals disconnected and how to recognize it in real-time.

D’ Layne shares her experiences as a registered nurse and how they led her to explore the role of overfunctioning in high-stress careers like healthcare. She highlights the common trend among caregivers who often neglect their own emotional regulation while focusing on others.

We also touch on the concept of functional freeze, where individuals appear composed on the outside but are in a state of internal shutdown. D’ Layne provides practical advice on how to notice and address these states, both in oneself and in clients.

Throughout the episode, we discuss the importance of relational attunement, the impact of early childhood neural imprints on our perception of safety and threat, and the role of cognitive override in burnout. D' Layne emphasizes the need for scheduling rest and reflection, especially for high-performing individuals who use productivity as a defense against emotional discomfort.

Finally, we explore the nuances of breathwork as a tool for emotional regulation and how it can help individuals reconnect with their bodies in a safe and controlled manner. D’ Layne shares her personal journey and how breathwork played a crucial role in her own healing process.

Join us as we unpack these complex topics and provide actionable insights for better emotional regulation and mental well-being.

Timestamps

[00:03:48] False calm and emotional bypassing.

[00:04:36] False calm in caregiving.

[00:09:12] Observing emotional dysregulation patterns.

[00:11:25] Nervous system and safety perception.

[00:15:07] Autonomic nervous system dynamics.

[00:22:11] Busyness as emotional shield.

[00:26:00] Scheduling time for reflection.

[00:27:25] Building authentic self-worth.

[00:30:31] Safety and internal narratives.

[00:35:04] Doxaxic reasoning and bias.

[00:39:31] Curiosity about personal biases.

[00:42:43] Caregiving and self-neglect.

[00:45:51] Breath as a diagnostic tool.

[00:51:45] Self-healing and awareness.

[00:52:13] Rhythmic breathing's healing power.

[00:56:20] Sustainable change through repetition.

[01:00:20] Value and meaning in care.

Credits

• Host: Jeffrey Besecker
• Guest: D’ Layne Benson
• Executive Program Director: Anna Getz
• Production Team: Aloft Media Group
• Music: Courtesy of Aloft Media Group

Connect with host Jeffrey Besecker on LinkedIn.