What really happens in sex therapy? Is it physical instruction, demonstrations, or something more clinical?

In this episode, Dr. Emma Smith — licensed psychotherapist, trauma specialist, and AASECT-certified sex therapist — explains what sex therapy actually is and shares some entertaining stories about when people have guessed wrong.

Sex therapy is specialized talk therapy focused on desire, intimacy, attachment, trauma, and relational dynamics. It does not involve nudity, sexual contact, demonstrations, or erotic services. Dr. Emma addresses common misconceptions about sex therapy and discusses why sexuality is often moralized or commodified in modern culture.

See our FULL SHOW NOTES for additional details

You’ll learn:

• What sex therapy includes (education, trauma work, attachment repair)

• What sex therapy does not include (physical acts, demonstrations, or sexual contact)

• How trauma impacts sexual desire and intimacy

• How religious conditioning and purity culture shape sexuality

• What existential sex therapy is and how it differs from technique-driven models

• Why alignment and meaning matter more than performance in long-term relationships

If you’ve been trying to fix your sex life without understanding the deeper psychological and relational dynamics underneath it, this episode offers a new framework.

Start with the Desire Inventory (Get it here).

Keywords: sex therapy, trauma and sexuality, desire discrepancy, intimacy issues, attachment and sex, purity culture recovery, existential therapy, relationship counseling, licensed sex therapist, sexual health, mental health.

Is monogamy the problem—or is it monotony?

In this episode of The Intimate Philosopher, Dr. Emma explores the subtle difference between a relationship that is consciously chosen and one that has quietly slipped into routine. Many long-term couples still love each other deeply, yet find themselves stuck in predictable patterns that drain desire and curiosity from the relationship.

Rather than debating monogamy versus non-monogamy, this episode asks a deeper question: What are we actually creating inside the relationship container we’ve chosen?

Drawing from existential philosophy, modern relationship science, and her work as a certified sex therapist, Dr. Emma explains why desire often fades through routines, exhaustion, and the slow loss of curiosity—not because of betrayal or a lack of love.

You’ll also learn a simple, practical exercise—the Preferred Scenario Exercise—designed to help couples move from default sexual scripts into more intentional, collaborative, and mutually satisfying experiences.

If your relationship feels stable but not especially alive, this episode offers a thoughtful, grounded path back to curiosity and connection.

In this episode:

• Why monotony—not monogamy—often suffocates desire

• The real opposite of passion in long-term relationships

• How couples fall into unconscious sexual scripts

• Why curiosity is the engine of erotic connection

• A step-by-step exercise to rekindle desire

Reflection question: If your intimate life weren’t based on habit, what would it actually look like—and when was the last time you told your partner?

Resources: Download the free Preferred Scenario Worksheet in the episode show notes.

In this milestone eighth episode, Dr. Emma Smith celebrates more than just consistency. She celebrates growth, using our voices, and the radical act of reclaiming pleasure.

This conversation is both personal and political.

In a world that often teaches us to perform, prove, and push through, Dr. Emma invites listeners to pause and ask deeper questions: What feels good? What do I want? Who am I when I stop asking for permission?

Through reflections on feminism, desire, emotional intelligence, and self-trust, Dr. Emma explores how pleasure has been misunderstood — and how reclaiming it can become a compass for self-discovery, empowerment, intimacy, and authentic living.

If you’ve ever felt disconnected from your desires or unsure whether you’re “allowed” to want more, this episode is your reminder: pleasure is not indulgence — it’s intelligence.

• Why this eighth episode marks a meaningful milestone in Emma’s podcasting journey

• How feminism is ultimately about freedom and self-definition for everyone

• The historical discomfort around pleasure — and why reclaiming it matters

• Why desire is the next frontier of personal freedom

• How self-trust becomes the foundation of authentic power

• The idea that feminism taught us to speak — but not always to feel

• Why pleasure is both deeply personal and inherently political

• How to stop asking for permission and start honoring what you truly want

• The intersection of pleasure, purpose, and emotional intelligence

• How to practice pleasure as a daily ritual — not a rare reward

“This is personal and political.”

“Stop asking for permission.”

“What feels good? What do I want?”

00:00 Celebrating Milestones and Listener Engagement 02:38 Exploring Pleasure and Feminism 05:40 The Role of Pleasure in Self-Discovery 08:35 Desire as a Compass for Decision-Making 11:40 The Power of Self-Trust and Authenticity 14:40 Feminism and the Journey to Self-Sovereignty 17:44 Personal Stories of Transformation 20:24 The Intersection of Pleasure and Purpose 23:48 Reclaiming Pleasure as a Daily Practice 26:09 Empowerment Through Feminist Intimacy

You’ll walk away with a deeper understanding of how pleasure can function as guidance — not distraction. You’ll begin to see desire as wisdom, self-trust as strength, and feminism as an invitation to live more fully embodied.

Most importantly, you’ll be encouraged to redefine your relationship with pleasure — not as something to earn, but as something to practice.

Because pleasure isn’t selfish. It’s a compass.