For episode 30, releasing October 30th, Steph Lokelani turns the mic around and interviews her most familiar guest yet: herself. The Essence of You almost became "The Essence of Steph," and in this solo episode, recorded at the In Real Life Films studio in Boise, you finally get it.

Steph starts where she starts every episode, with how she met her guest. That was 1980 in Hau'ula, a country town on Oahu's North Shore, where she grew up among banana and coconut trees, made leis, and watched monarchs emerge on the family's "butterfly tree." She traces her love of film from renting E.T. on Betamax with her dad, to writing Pippi Longstocking episodes for her siblings, to drama club in Federal Way, Washington, and editing videos with two VCRs. A first lead role in a San Francisco short film taught her she'd rather be behind the camera.

From there: a self-taught leap from data entry to video at HP, a valedictorian finish at Full Sail University, launching OMGFemaleFilmmakers in 2017, leaving HP in 2022, and rebranding to In Real Life Films in 2026. Steph shares the nonprofit mini-documentaries she loves making, why this podcast focuses on the individual, what she does for fun (brunch, lifting, yoga, half marathons, and her senior dog Frodo), and her dream of taking the podcast on the road.

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KEY TAKEAWAYS - Your earliest play can point to your purpose. Steph's backyard Pippi Longstocking episodes were her first productions. - Self-taught counts. A homemade how-to video on changing flashlight batteries landed Steph her first real film job. - Practice can be real. Told not to buy her LLC during a class exercise, Steph bought it anyway and started her company. - Leaving security for your own work is hard, and it can still be the right call. - Every person has a story worth an hour. You don't need a topic to be a guest. - Listening is a way of knowing people. If Steph is quiet in a room, she's taking you in. - Watching a pet age is a reminder to slow down and make time for the ones you love, and yourself.

CHAPTERS 0:00 Cold open: a false start 0:16 Welcome to a solo 30th episode 0:59 Steph introduces Steph 1:47 How I met my guest: Hau'ula, Oahu, 1980 2:44 The butterfly tree and making leis 4:02 Why film? E.T. and Reese's Pieces 5:25 Writing Pippi Longstocking episodes at nine 6:31 Federal Way, drama club, and latchkey years 7:43 A camcorder and editing with two VCRs 8:41 Colorado, San Francisco, and a first lead role 9:42 "I'd rather be behind the camera" 10:09 Moving to Boise and self-taught filmmaking 10:30 HP and the flashlight battery audition 12:31 Full Sail, valedictorian, and Angry Birds math 14:24 Filming in Prague, Rome, New Orleans, and LA 14:48 Buying the LLC: OMGFemaleFilmmakers is born 16:20 Volunteer videos for nonprofits 16:43 The HP owl during Covid 17:43 Leaving HP to go all in 19:50 Opening OMG Studios Boise 20:35 Rebranding to In Real Life Films 21:37 Nonprofit clients and mini-documentaries 23:15 Documenting two Idaho candidates 24:16 Why The Essence of You? 26:30 Interviewing herself 26:48 Fun: Sunday brunch and Bloody Marys 28:06 The bike and the unopened paddle board 28:30 The gym and a 24,000-pound water truck 29:02 Becoming a certified yoga teacher 29:38 Half marathons and Robie Creek 30:11 Frodo, Osiris, and Tyke 32:53 Taking the podcast on the road 35:14 How to be a guest or sponsor 37:26 Why talking about yourself is hard 38:13 Thank you + Idaho Community Foundation 40:05 Next week's guest + the episode one shirt 41:33 Early voting and Idaho's state gun question 43:17 Hawaii's state fish 44:01 Dreaming of being an oceanographer 45:07 The awkwardness of going solo 46:21 Outro

Steph Lokelani reconnects with Tim Chappell, who she walked with at their high school graduation ceremony and who was the drama club VP while Steph was the President, for their first real conversation since graduating from Decatur High School in Federal Way, Washington, back in 1998. Tim is now a risk analyst at Mayo Clinic and has spent 13 years directing high school theater in Minnesota.

Tim shares how a girl recruiting help for M*A*S*H pulled him into theater, why he swapped criminal justice for a theater degree at WSU, and how theater gave him the confidence and people skills behind every job since. He talks about directing School of Rock with students playing live, a closing-night Bye Bye Birdie kiss that turned into an engagement, and getting to christen Byron High School's brand-new auditorium.

The two swap Decatur High School memories, including the day they skipped school and Steph got paged at the mall, only to learn her grandma was being held hostage in the next town. Plus a backstage sprinkler-valve mishap and their beloved teacher Mr. Hendrickson. Tim also explains Bearded Villains, a worldwide nonprofit giving back through community service, and takes us onto the frozen lakes of Minnesota for ice fishing, craft beer, mead, and his answer to who he is at his core.

ABOUT TIM CHAPPELL Originally from Federal Way, Washington, Tim Chappell graduated from Washington State University in 2004 with a degree in Theatre Arts and Drama. During his time at WSU, Tim was involved with WSU Police and Fire and was a member of the Delta Upsilon fraternity. It was also during college that he met his wife, Aleisha. The two married in 2004 and began their life together in Federal Way, where Tim worked as an Assistant Manager at FedEx Kinko’s.

In 2006, Tim and Aleisha relocated to Austin, Texas, before making another move in 2007 to Rochester, Minnesota. Tim continued his career with FedEx Kinko’s as a Center Manager before eventually transitioning to Mayo Clinic, where he has worked for the past 15 years as a Risk Analyst. In 2009, Tim and Aleisha welcomed their daughter, Abileen, into the world.

Tim has spent the past 13 years coaching and directing high school theatre throughout the area, combining his professional experience with his lifelong passion for the performing arts. He is currently directing Clue at Byron High School, with performances opening next weekend. He is already looking ahead to the spring musical, The Little Mermaid.

Outside of work and theatre, Tim is a proud member of the worldwide nonprofit organization Bearded Villains, which promotes goodwill and community service. When he can find a little free time, he enjoys watching Abileen compete in dance and cheerleading, open-water and ice fishing, and visiting local breweries. He is also an unapologetic, flag-waving nerd when it comes to comics, movies, and all things geek culture.

Looking ahead, Tim is excited for The Little Mermaid this spring and, of course, another Minnesota ice fishing season. He is also preparing for one of life’s biggest milestones: watching Abileen graduate from high school and head off to college. It’s an exciting chapter for their family, even if it comes with a few mixed emotions!

KEY TAKEAWAYS - Theater builds lifelong skills: confidence, public speaking, and comfort in the gray area. - Young people deserve their own path, not a copy of their parents'. - Challenge yourself to try new shows instead of defaulting to what's easy. - Preserving memories, like signed show fliers, honors everyone who was part of it. - Kindness can be a community: "It's villainous to be nice nowadays." - Who we become is a recipe made from the people we surround ourselves with.

CHAPTERS 0:00 Welcome + reconnecting after high school 0:32 Meet Tim Chappell 4:17 Abileen and the college search 8:49 Federal Way roots + middle school 10:02 Meeting in Decatur Drama Club 13:05 From criminal justice to theater 15:24 Why high school theater 18:18 Favorite shows: School of Rock + Once Upon a Mattress 19:05 A Bye Bye Birdie kiss turned engagement 22:41 Byron's new auditorium 23:57 Drama club president + VP 25:18 Skipping school + a hostage situation 27:31 The sprinkler alarm mishap 29:23 The signed staircase + preserving memories 33:43 Bearded Villains 40:40 Minnesota State Fair + favorite beers 48:34 Police, fire + finding a real job 50:52 Austin, Texas to Minnesota 53:57 From semi driver to Mayo Clinic 55:35 Minnesota weather + ice fishing 1:04:29 Closing question 1:07:15 Wrap-up

Content note: This episode includes discussion of sexual assault, including childhood experiences (approx. 13:20–28:25). Support is available 24/7 through the National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 or rainn.org. Mild Ted Lasso spoiler (newest season) at approx. 59:10.

Steph Lokelani sits down with educator, curriculum leader, and writer Jenny Mundy-Castle for a wide-ranging conversation about consent, resilience, education, and a life lived across continents. Born in Edinburgh and raised in Nigeria, Ireland, Texas, upstate New York, and Santa Fe, Jenny shares what it means to be a Third Culture Kid and how a frightening chapter in Abuja ultimately led her to Boise.

Jenny opens up about her memoir, Every Time I Didn't Say No: A Memoir of Consent, written in the wake of #MeToo. She talks about examining the gray areas of consent, what EMDR therapy revealed about her writing process, and how family and old friends reacted when she published her story.

Then the conversation turns lighter: a speculative YA novel set in Los Alamos, a suburban satire inspired by Meridian, 18 years in the classroom, the politics of public education, and why rigor isn't the same as more hoops in gifted education. Jenny reflects on the Santa Fe democratic free school that set her on a path to Columbia, her sprawling family across three continents, and the one word that describes her at her core.

ABOUT JENNY MUNDY-CASTLE: Jenny Mundy-Castle is an educator, writer, and creative thinker whose work explores identity, resilience, creativity, and human potential. A graduate of Columbia University, she holds a master’s degree in education from Pace University and two Education Specialist degrees in Educational Leadership and English as a New Language. With more than two decades of experience teaching and leading in the United States and internationally, she currently serves as a district-level Curriculum Coordinator overseeing World Languages, Fine Arts, and Gifted and Talented education. Jenny is passionate about challenging conventional ideas of family and growth. She is also a novelist and essayist whose writing explores the complexities of human relationships and survival.

KEY TAKEAWAYS: - Third Culture Kids may never feel fully at home anywhere, and can also make a home anywhere. - Consent lives in the gray areas. Not saying no is not the same as saying yes. - Your story is yours to tell. Survivors don't owe anyone a heads-up first. - Open conversations about assault break the cycle of shame and show others they're not alone. - Rigor means deeper thinking, not more hoops. Grades should never replace learning. - Gifted learners have a distinct academic need, not a gold star. - Public education thrives when good people stay and help it serve their communities. - Curiosity can be a compass, even when it makes staying put hard.

CHAPTERS: 0:00 Content note 1:18 Welcome + meet Jenny Mundy-Castle 2:14 From Edinburgh to Lagos, Ireland, Texas & Santa Fe 4:15 Being a Third Culture Kid 5:43 What brought Jenny to Boise 7:43 Steph's path from Hawaii to Boise 8:44 Is Boise insular? 9:52 Staying put for her daughter 10:26 Steph's New York dream and Frodo 11:55 Chasing traditional publishing 13:23 "Every Time I Didn't Say No: A Memoir of Consent" 17:14 EMDR, PTSD, and writing as clarity 18:58 #MeToo and owning your story 21:03 Steph's documentary + I May Destroy You 22:13 The impact of publishing on those you write about 28:28 Revisiting a speculative YA novel 30:28 How Jenny got into writing 31:15 Favorite childhood books 32:31 Narrative nonfiction + a suburban satire 33:49 Steph's love of dark comedies 35:06 From classroom teacher to curriculum leader 36:25 The politics of public education 38:16 What makes a good teacher 39:30 Rigor vs. jumping through hoops 41:09 When grades replace learning 42:54 Steph's gifted program story 45:18 Identifying and serving gifted learners 48:48 The democratic free school that shaped her 51:54 Getting into Columbia 53:57 Where to travel next 55:32 Six wives, nine children 57:19 Who is Jenny at her core? 59:10 Ted Lasso: "I am lovable" (spoiler) 1:00:02 Rebecca, Keeley, and women supporting women 1:01:15 Wrap-up