What to Do Instead of Bypassing

So if we stop bypassing, what do we do instead?

We stay.

Not forever. Not because discomfort is inherently good. And not because we need to wallow in every difficult emotion that comes along.

We simply practice staying present long enough to notice what’s actually happening before we rush to avoid it, fix it, reframe it or make it disappear.

In this final installment of Bypassing Bites, we bring the series together with a simple practice for meeting uncomfortable moments differently: notice, name, stay and choose.

What am I feeling? What am I trying to avoid? Can I stay with this sensation for just a little longer? And if I weren’t trying to escape this feeling, what would I choose to do next?

Because emotional mastery isn’t getting so evolved that uncomfortable feelings stop showing up. It’s becoming increasingly capable of staying with yourself when they do.

Your final Bypassing Bite:
What becomes possible when discomfort is no longer an emergency?

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The Hidden Cost of Needing Everyone to Be Okay

There’s a difference between being peaceful and needing there to be peace.

If you need everyone around you to be happy, comfortable and pleased with you, keeping the peace can become a full-time job.

You monitor people’s reactions. Soften what you really mean. Say yes when you mean no. Take responsibility for someone else’s disappointment. Rush in to fix tension before you’ve even decided whether it’s yours to fix.

And ironically, all that peacekeeping can leave you with very little peace inside yourself.

In this fourth installment of Bypassing Bites, we look at what happens when our desire for harmony becomes a way of avoiding discomfort—and why someone else’s disappointment, frustration or disagreement doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve done something wrong.

Real peace has room for awkwardness. It has room for disagreement. It even has room for someone not being happy with you.

Your Bypassing Bite:
Can I allow someone else to be disappointed without immediately trying to make their disappointment go away?

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A personalized 1:1 session to support your inner clarity and fundraising wellbeing.
👉 https://calendly.com/vitalistcoaching/brave-balanced-breakthrough

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When Being Easy to Work With Gets Expensive

“I hate drama.”
“I’m pretty easygoing.”
“It’s not worth making a thing out of it.”
“I can just let it go.”

Sometimes that’s discernment. And sometimes it’s avoidance dressed up as a virtue.

In this third installment of Bypassing Bites, we’re looking at conflict avoidance—and the ways being agreeable, flexible and “easy to work with” can keep us from saying what actually needs to be said.

Avoiding the conversation may keep things comfortable in the moment. But the conflict doesn’t necessarily disappear. It can show up instead as resentment, exhaustion, withdrawal, over-explaining or quietly checking out.

Not having the conversation doesn’t mean you’ve eliminated the conflict. Sometimes you’ve simply moved the conflict inside yourself.

In this bite-sized episode of The Brave & Balanced Fundraiser, we explore what it costs us to continually keep the peace—and what can change when we become more willing to tolerate the discomfort of honest conversation.

Your Bypassing Bite:
What conversation am I avoiding because I’m more comfortable being uncomfortable myself than risking making someone else uncomfortable?

Send Erin a text

✨ Stay Connected & Continue Your Fundraising Growth

Listen to all episodes + subscribe:
https://thebraveandbalancedfundraiser.buzzsprout.com

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Join the community:
The Brave & Balanced Fundraiser Facebook Group
👉 https://www.facebook.com/groups/braveandbalancedfundraiser

Book a Brave & Balanced Breakthrough Call:
A personalized 1:1 session to support your inner clarity and fundraising wellbeing.
👉 https://calendly.com/vitalistcoaching/brave-balanced-breakthrough

Learn more about Erin’s coaching & nervous-system based support:
VitalistCoaching.com

Connect on Instagram:
@erinmcquadewright