Julia! My wonderful friend. Here is my WhatsApp 50th birthday voice message to you but shared with THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD! I want others to have a glimpse into our special friendship. I want them to see for a moment the dazzling person who has helped me and inspired me so much. It is recorded in the way I record all my daily WhatsApp messages you: on my phone, unscripted, wind whistling, me rambling, bracelets jangling and my voice as free and bouncy is it can be. Thank you for everything, and more.

Today. Nothing like yesterday. Percy and I had an intruder. I am not sure how I feel about it, yet.

I need to take the podcast back to first principles. A joy machine. A place not to be heard or to sound important but a dreamland of stories, a space for me to speak and waffle on. It makes me so happy. Mum is not well, and I need all the jolliness I can muster. Sorry, darlings! Anyhoo. All explained within.

My heart was in my mouth as I waited to hear if my ex-boyfriend wasn't harmed in the Berlin Pride attack. He wasn't, thank goodness. It may make the fear caused by the attack a little easier to manage if we remember how far we in Europe have come over the last few decades in gay rights - and human rights. This heinous barbarity will firm our resolve to go even further.

Receiving a 'sad face' emoji on the night of Brexit made me realise that nation I adored had changed. I knew the impact of Brexit would be bad, but I never imagined that things would get this bad. Watching the wonderful nation go to war with itself is heartbreaking to watch. Will Mr Burnham, the prime minister-in-waiting, be brave and lead Britain back to whom it once was? Receiving the happy face emoji will tell me that he has.

#rejoin #reversebrexit

My grandad was an Indian immigrant into Britain in the 1950's. He taught me a lot about integration. Become new, was his example. He didn't teach me to wear yellow trousers. I learnt that all by myself.

We in Europe have much to thank America for, but it is time to realise just how different we are. It is perhaps time to give each other a peck on the cheek, a tight hug, and then go our separate ways.

Hell in a handbasket? I am not convinced, darling. I think that there are many reasons for optimism even in this current era of madness. A decade of rage, indeed, but anger can't last forever.