This full-length recording, made available freely, was recorded on the 14th of August 1994 in Colorado. This recording is one of eight in the Colorado Talks 1994 series. The series is available in the paid version of the podcast, available on Apple Podcast and Spotify Podcast.

Extracts from this episode:

I am master of the West – and you are all Westerners, you are not easterners. Unless you are addressed in the Western way, you won't be able to live the teaching of truth, you won't be able to be the truth, no matter who you are...

To be the truth is to be free of unhappiness – I am the only one that has ever said that... You have no right to be unhappy – I have no right to be unhappy – ever, ever, ever. You don't have a right because your son died to be unhappy. Get it? You don't have a right to be unhappy because you got cancer. Get it? You know, I'm talking ever, ever, ever...

The spiritual path is a path of ignorance. When you reach the truth, there is no path, there is what is.

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Barry Long demonstrates his one pointed love of truth in this most engaging interview with David Freeman from 1984.

Barry Long rarely gave interviews to the media and the purpose of this one was to promote his newly published book 'The Origins of Man and the Universe'.

More details about the book can be found here – https://www.barrylong.org/products/book/the-origins-of-man-and-the-universe

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All content © The Barry Long Trust

Support the show

All content © The Barry Long Trust

Support the show

All content © The Barry Long Trust

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All content © The Barry Long Trust

Excerpts:

I live with a woman or a man, if I'm a woman, to enjoy being together. What we've got to examine is what stops us from enjoying being together? That would be a reasonable question, wouldn't it?

Man is with woman, where I come from, for her to help him to give up his structures – only to help him, as he is with her to help her to give up emotion. So it's a two-way deal.

Man's main difficulty in living with woman is that he won't listen to her. If he gets emotional, where I come from, it is right for his partner woman to say, 'Why are you emotional?' If he gets angry, the same thing it is right for his partner to say, 'why are you angry?' Now there's no reason that he should not reply straightly why he's angry. 'I'm angry because of the way you speak with to me.' Then, 'what is it about the way I speak to you that makes you angry?' And so the questions can go on, as long as both are willing to engage in a straight conversation what I call them intelligent conversation. But there's no good one of them being intelligent. Without the other, that's hopeless.

A real woman is she who is true to the situation – not to be true to your own feelings, but to be true to the situation. So what is the situation between man and woman? The situation is that we are together to enjoy ourselves. And I do not enjoy your anger, if you're angry. And so I will point that out to you when you're angry, trusting that you are intelligent enough to either say the source of it, or to get rid of it within you. So that's been true to the situation. And if the man doesn't get rid of his anger, and insists on his that he has right to be angry or emotional, then the woman has to be a real woman has to very, very seriously look at whether she can remain in this relationship. Because it won't get better, no matter how much she thinks she can change a man unless he is willing to listen, she cannot change him. She only thinks she can. Because she thinks her love is so strong, that she can change anything, it's not true. There has to be a willingness to change.

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Keywords: love and sexual drive, resonance and reflection, civilisation and emotion, making love without sexual stimulation, making love, the nature of man and his sexual drive, the difference between man and woman, woman is fundamentally love, man's sexual drive seeks to possess, woman fundamentally wants to love and to give, moving from sex to love

Outline:

0:00 On resonance and attraction. The inter-connected and inter-penetrating nature of all existence. The individual's inherent love and connection to the divine. Love within is reflected through external world, resonating with objects and circumstances.

6:10 The nature of the male sexual drive and its selfish aspects. Men and women are fundamentally different, with men driven by a desire to possess and women driven by a desire to love and to give. The two drives and its consequence. The sexual drive is the main impediment to realizing one's true nature and source of love.

12:02 Emotion and evolution. Civilization is a protection of self, leading to selfishness and hardness. Overcoming emotion is necessary for the evolution of man and woman on Earth.

20:52 Woman and sexuality. Woman is the only hope of stopping men's sexual drive. Woman must know what she wants - sex or love – can she say no to sex but yes to love? The importance of a woman being sensitive to love and not giving into sexual advances.

27:10 Love, sex, and relationships. On making love without sexual arousal. On prioritizing love over sexual drive in relationships. What happens when lovers first meet and why love goes out of the relationship. On compromise. Woman is fundamentally a 100% love and man is 90% love with 10% something to do.

Extracts:

We've got to get this – that the external world is there as a reflection – as a reflector of what we are. Often, you can say the other thing – that the external world reflects as circumstances – it reflects what we are or what is necessary for us to cope with.

When you love an object – this is what this external world is for – you reflect off that object; and your love reflects off that object. It doesn't reflect off this one or that one or that one; it somehow or the other resonates with that particular object. You resonate with that particular object. And there is a correspondence between the two.

All love fundamentally is the love of That – the love of God, the love of It – That which is behind everything, behind all existence. All love is that. You have that love inside of you because you came out of that place, that vastness, into conception in some woman's womb. You came out of that place. And to that place, your consciousness and intelligence will return. So, you have that love inside of you, where there are no problems, where there is no movement, where there are no bodies, where there is no necessity for separation, because all is one, although you have an individual consciousness, you cannot separate the part from the whole. The part which is the individual consciousness is the part of the whole and, therefore, cannot be separated from it.

Woman is a totally different creature to man. Woman's desire is not to possess – in her immediacy, her love is to give – her love is to give and to please man. Her desire is to give everything to him – to be able to open up completely and utterly to the male principle – that's what love is.

Woman is the hope of it all – of stopping man, and how does she do this? She's got to know – 'What do I want,' 'Do I want sex or do I want love?' That's the fundamental question that's coming at you, woman.

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Transcript:

Now, I'd like to make it clear to the people with me that emotions are always negative or excitement. I want to make it clear that joy is not an emotion because the world thinks that joy, beauty and love are emotions – and they are not.

Joy is in me. Joy arises from the place of stillness in me. If you emotionalise joy, you come up into the subconscious where you want to make an impression on somebody or communicate, whereas joy just rises, and it can be there now without any emotionalising.

Love is never an emotion. An emotional person, in the moment of their emotions, cannot be a lover – cannot be love – because love does not project itself as emotion. Love is a state – like joy is a state – like sweetness is a state – like beauty is a state – and this state is within. And it's just there.

Whereas emotion is always out – "e" meaning out, "motion" meaning movement – emotion is always trying to go out. It tries to make a point; it tries to hit back. "You're mine," it says. "You're no good," it says. "I resent what you've done to me," it says. "You must understand me," it says. This is all emotion.

Love says, "What do you want?" or "What can I do for you?" or "I love you." If I say "I love you," that's the end of it. What do I mean by "I love you?" I am patient with you. I hold nothing against you. I don't hold any of the past against you. I don't accuse you of anything, and I don't blame you. Love says it all in that one word. You don't have to say other words. That's the beginning of the end – "I love you."

The way we use love mostly is, "I want you." Want is an emotion.

If "I love you", it follows that it is good to be with you. But I can't want you. Not in love. Because it is not necessary. Because if I love you – what is the good of loving you if you don't love me? If you don't want to be with me? What's the good of me loving you if you don't love me or want to be with me? That would be to put a lack of freedom on you. Because surely if I love you and you don't love me, I don't want you to be with me because that would cause you to be emotional and unhappy. So, do you want to hold anyone that doesn't want to be with you? If you do, then you want to keep someone prisoner. You won't be happy, and they won't be happy. So – what's the point? It all comes from emotion.

Love says – "well, I don't want you to leave because I love you, but if you've got to go, you've got to go; if you don't love enough to stay, then I can't hold you because that would be holding on to something."

If I hold on to something when I go into me (in meditation,) I say, "Come on, let go, don't hold on."

Love is not holding on. Whereas our whole society teaches us – that love is a holding on. So everything (out there) is reversed, really.

Love is not an emotion. Joy is not an emotion. They are both states which are immediately there now. A state is not a condition. Emotion is conditional – "I am angry" because of that condition – "I am jealous because of you." "I am resentful because of what you have done to me." All these are conditions.

Whereas "I love you" does not have a condition on it. "If you want to be with me, that's lovely – but if you don't want to be with me, well, what's the point if you don't love me?"

"I love you –" it's not a condition you see.

Joy – can anyone take my joy from me? Because my joy is within me. Nobody can take my joy from me. They can take other things from me, which are material and objective, and that might disturb me to some degree, but it would not take my joy – my joy of life. Nobody can take my joy of life from me.

So, the point is love and joy are states, not conditions.

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