In this listener Q&A episode, Ryan and Mike tackle some of the most challenging real-life situations parents of kids with ADHD face at home. From bedtime anxiety that spirals into nightly meltdowns, to medication concerns around mood changes and irritability, to constant attention-seeking and dysregulation at home, this episode focuses on what’s really driving these behaviors—and how well-intentioned parenting can sometimes make them worse.

They also discuss how to think about summer camps for kids with ADHD, especially when explosive behavior has led to removals from programs in the past. As always, the emphasis is on practical, research-informed strategies that help kids build independence while protecting parents’ sanity.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube

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[00:00:00] Start
[00:02:12] Listener Q&A Overview
[00:05:45] Bedtime Anxiety And Sleep Struggles
[00:07:24] Parental Accommodation And Anxiety
[00:12:15] Medication And Mood Changes
[00:14:12] Inconsistent Medication Effects
[00:19:13] Child Dysregulation And Attention Seeking
[00:22:45] Teaching Self-Regulation At Home
[00:27:13] Summer Camp Decisions For ADHD
[00:31:18] How To Submit Questions

In this episode of the Mike and Ryan break down four widespread myths about ADHD that continue to circulate on social media, in parent groups, and even in professional settings. Using research-based evidence and clinical experience, they explain what’s accurate, what’s not, and why these misconceptions can be unhelpful for families.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠

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[00:00:00] Start
[00:00:48] Mike’s Book Announcement
[00:01:42] Ryan’s Certification Program
[00:02:53] Myth One: Seven Types Of ADHD
[00:06:45] Myth Two: Genetic Testing For Medication
[00:10:29] Myth Three: AuDHD As A Diagnosis
[00:14:08] Myth Four: Masking At School
[00:15:15] Why ADHD Behavior Is Context Dependent
[00:24:46] Final Takeaways And Closing Thoughts

This episode breaks down the major misconceptions about ADHD treatment and clarifies what decades of research, major clinical guidelines, and leading experts actually recommend. Ryan and Mike explain why weekly talk therapy is not an evidence-based treatment for ADHD, why parent training and environmental structure are consistently shown to improve outcomes, and how parents can make informed decisions without getting pulled into common myths.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube

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[00:00:00] Start
[00:02:21] What clinical guidelines actually recommend
[00:05:27] Dr. Barkley’s research on effective ADHD treatments
[00:09:11] Evidence on CBT, DBT, and play therapy
[00:19:21] Why office-based therapy doesn’t translate to real-world behavior
[00:22:29] Rumination and how talk-heavy approaches can backfire
[00:31:19] Treatments with the strongest evidence (medication, parent training)⁠⁠⁠

Citations:

1. AAP Guideline (Parent Training + Medication as First-Line)Wolraich, M. L., et al. (2019). Clinical practice guideline for ADHD in children and adolescents. Pediatrics, 144(4), e20192528.

2. AACAP Treatment Parameter (Medication + Behavioral)Pliszka, S. R., & AACAP Work Group. (2007). Practice parameter for ADHD. JAACAP, 46(7), 894–921.

3. Barkley: ADHD as Performance DisorderBarkley, R. A. (2012). Executive functions. Guilford Press.Barkley, R. A. (2015). ADHD: Handbook for diagnosis and treatment (4th ed.). Guilford Press.

4. CBT Evidence (Adolescents/Adults, Not Young Children)Safren, S. A., et al. (2010). CBT vs relaxation for adults with ADHD. JAMA, 304(8), 875–880.Solanto, M. V. (2011). CBT for adult ADHD. Guilford Press.Langberg, J. M., et al. (2008). Organization skills intervention for adolescents. JCCP, 76(6), 967–982.

5. DBT-Informed (Pilot Trials, Emotion Dysregulation)Murray, D. W., et al. (2022). DBT skills group for adolescents with ADHD. J Attention Disorders, 26(11), 1421–1430.

6. Play Therapy (Insufficient Evidence)Hassan, R. A., & Shaker, N. S. (2014). CBPT for ADHD symptoms. Int J Psychology & Behavioral Sciences, 4(6), 221–229.

7. EF Skills: Experience-Based, Not Language-BasedBarkley, R. A. (2012). Executive functions. Guilford Press.

8. Rumination and ADHDOstojic, D., et al. (2021). Mind wandering and rumination in youth with ADHD. J Abnormal Child Psychology, 49, 1203–1216.Seymour, K. E., et al. (2014). Emotion regulation mediates ADHD-depression relationship. J Abnormal Child Psychology, 42, 611–621.

9. Time Blindness/Temporal ProcessingToplak, M. E., & Tannock, R. (2005). Time perception deficits in ADHD. J Abnormal Child Psychology, 33(5), 639–654.Barkley, R. A., et al. (2008). ADHD in adults: What the science says. Guilford Press.

10. Parent Behavior Training (Evidence-Based)Chronis, A. M., et al. (2006). Evidence-based treatments for children with ADHD. Clinical Psychology Review, 26(4), 486–502.Evans, S. W., et al. (2014). Evidence-based treatments for ADHD. JCCAP, 43(4), 527–551.

11. Medication as First-LineFaraone, S. V., et al. (2021). Stimulant effectiveness and safety. World Psychiatry, 20(3), 314–329.Swanson, J. M., et al. (2017). MTA study long-term outcomes. JAACAP, 56(3), 228–240.

This is part 2 of "Your Child Is Not Your Co-Parent". Ryan and Mike continue examining why popular “gentle” and heavy emotional-validation parenting approaches often backfire for kids with ADHD. They break down the research, explain the leadership needs of ADHD brains, and outline why overtalking, overprocessing, and overnegotiating increase dysregulation rather than calming it.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠

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[00:00:00] Start
[00:00:46] Rise of emotional-validation parenting
[00:01:58] Why emotional processing overwhelms ADHD brains
[00:02:48] ADHD kids’ need for clear leadership and hierarchy
[00:05:20] How “armchair therapy” increases dysregulation
[00:07:07] Why too much talking makes tasks feel bigger
[00:08:29] Non-hierarchical relationships and rising anxiety
[00:10:08] Impact of inconsistent leadership
[00:12:26] Comfort-zone parenting and avoidance
[00:13:58] The “four D’s” and building flexibility
[00:15:48] How avoidance worsens anxiety and rigidity
[00:17:13] How guidance—not rescue—builds confidence
[00:18:16] Three core takeaways for ADHD parents

Citations:

Baumrind, D. (1991). The influence of parenting style on adolescent competence and substance use. Journal of Early Adolescence, 11(1), 56–95.

Chronis-Tuscano, A., et al. (2011). Parenting behavior and child conduct problems in children with ADHD. Journal of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology, 40(1), 44–57.

Evans, S. W., Owens, J. S., & Bunford, N. (2014). Evidence based psychosocial treatments for children and adolescents with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Journal of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology, 43(4), 527–551.

Johnston, C., & Mash, E. J. (2001). Families of children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Journal of Clinical Child Psychology, 30(4), 479–495.

Ma, I., van Duijvenvoorde, A. C. K., & Scheres, A. (2020). Cognitive rigidity in ADHD. Journal of Attention Disorders, 24(5), 707–718.

Steinberg, L. (2001). We know some things: Parent adolescent relationships in retrospect and prospect. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 11(1), 1–19.

In this first half of a two-part episode, Ryan and Mike break down why many modern parenting approaches—especially those centered on constant negotiation and seeking a child’s input for every decision—backfire for kids with ADHD. They outline how clear leadership, predictable structure, and authoritative (not authoritarian) parenting create emotional safety, reduce conflict, and support executive functioning.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠

{{chapters}}
[00:00:00] Start
[00:00:41] What “co-parenting” your child means
[00:03:14] Authoritative parenting overview
[00:04:13] Research: structure supports regulation
[00:07:42] Research: clarity improves social functioning
[00:09:40] Routines, EF, and independence
[00:12:00] Why negotiation backfires
[00:16:10] Cognitive rigidity & too many choices
[00:19:00] Inconsistent expectations worsen symptoms

Citations:

Baumrind, D. (1991). The influence of parenting style on adolescent competence and substance use. Journal of Early Adolescence, 11(1), 56–95.

Chronis-Tuscano, A., et al. (2011). Parenting behavior and child conduct problems in children with ADHD. Journal of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology, 40(1), 44–57.

Evans, S. W., Owens, J. S., & Bunford, N. (2014). Evidence based psychosocial treatments for children and adolescents with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Journal of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology, 43(4), 527–551.

Johnston, C., & Mash, E. J. (2001). Families of children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Journal of Clinical Child Psychology, 30(4), 479–495.

Ma, I., van Duijvenvoorde, A. C. K., & Scheres, A. (2020). Cognitive rigidity in ADHD. Journal of Attention Disorders, 24(5), 707–718.

Steinberg, L. (2001). We know some things: Parent adolescent relationships in retrospect and prospect. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 11(1), 1–19.

Today's episode is a re-release of episode 23. I wanted to bring this episode back because it gets to the core of what Mike and I are always trying to teach: helping kids with ADHD move from dependence to independence. This conversation started with a powerful listener comment about how “doing everything out of love” can actually leave kids feeling helpless and incapable. That story stuck with me—it perfectly illustrates what happens when empathy turns into over-accommodation.

In this episode, Mike and I talk about why confidence comes from experience, not protection, and how kids only build real executive functioning skills when they’re trusted to try, fail, and try again. We also dig into why too much therapy, too much prompting, and too much hovering can actually hold kids back.

We decided to re-release it now because this message matters more than ever. If you’ve ever wondered how to balance empathy with accountability—or how to stop “lovingly disabling” your child—this is the episode to revisit.

The ADHD Parenting Podcast returns with another episode to address real-life questions from parents about managing ADHD. Topics include handling therapeutic classroom recommendations, navigating the challenges of a political climate for a curious preteen, managing prompt dependency in routines such as eating and showering, and dealing with lying and exaggeration. They provide practical advice on executive function growth and the importance of appropriate medication regimens. Key takeaways are aimed at equipping parents with effective strategies rather than offering superficial advice.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠

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[00:00:00] Start

[00:00:49] Introduction and Question Guidelines

[00:01:32] Question 1: Therapeutic Classroom Recommendation

[00:07:30] Question 2: Politics and Preteen Critical Thinking

[00:14:07] Question 3: Prompt Dependence at Meals and Showers

[00:21:28] Question 4: School Focus and Memory Issues

[00:25:00] Question 5: Teen Lying and Embellishment

[00:34:20] Contact Information and Closing

In this episode of The ADHD Parenting Podcast, hosts Ryan Wexelblatt and Mike McLeod explore what it means to “step into your parental authority.” Drawing from research and clinical experience, they discuss how authoritative parenting—balancing warmth with structure—helps children with ADHD develop self-regulation, emotional safety, and independence. The hosts challenge social media’s rebranding of permissive parenting as “gentle” or “compassionate” and explain why consistency, clear expectations, and calm modeling are key. They also tackle the fears many parents have about being “too firm,” offering practical examples of how to set limits with empathy and predictability while nurturing connection and confidence in their children.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠

{{chapters}}
[00:00:00] Start
[00:00:30] Introduction to stepping into parental authority
[00:02:00] Research on parenting styles and ADHD outcomes
[00:05:30] Authoritative parenting defined and linked to lower ADHD symptoms
[00:07:30] Permissive parenting and its long-term effects
[00:11:00] Importance of limits, boundaries, and consistency
[00:14:30] Modeling calm behavior for emotional regulation
[00:17:00] When a child controls the home environment
[00:18:30] Why parents are misled about effective ADHD treatment
[00:20:00] Social media’s influence on permissive parenting

[00:22:00] Risks of permissive parenting for ADHD kids
[00:24:30] Practical ways to step into parental authority
[00:26:00] Predictability and routines for emotional safety
[00:29:30] Shifting to high empathy with high expectations
[00:32:00] Preparing ADHD kids for independence and adulthood
[00:33:00] Behavioral parent training as an evidence-based solution
[00:34:30] Reassurance for parents stepping into authority
[00:36:30] Closing and listener invitation