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In July 1917, a nine-year-old girl named Frances kept falling into a stream in Yorkshire and coming home with wet shoes. When the grown-ups asked why she kept going down there, she said she went to see the fairies. Her sixteen-year-old cousin Elsie — an art student who happened to live in a house with a darkroom under the stairs — said: fine, we’ll prove it.

What happened next fooled newspapers, photography experts, theosophists, and the man who invented the most famous detective mind in the world. It also cost two little girls a secret they carried for sixty-six years.

This week Emily goes solo with a story that is part hoax, part history, part grief, and entirely human: The Cottingley Fairies.

“They wanted to be taken in.” — Frances Griffiths

Watch the video or look up Fairies and Their Sunbath. What do you see?

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That wasn’t the plan, and we will talk to you next week. K bye. 🧚

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Emily's on the road this week, so we're pulling one of our favorite early episodes out of the vault — originally released as Episode 6 back in Season 1, when Dr. Dini Miller became our very first-ever TWTP guest. We're re-releasing it for all of you who found the show in Season 2 and haven't dug back yet. If you've ever found a weird bug in your sheets and spiraled on the internet for three hours, this one's for you.

Dr. Dini Miller is a professor at Virginia Tech, an internationally recognized expert in urban pest management, a PhD in urban entomology, and an inductee into the Pest Management Association Hall of Fame. She advises housing authorities, hotels, shelters, and schools. She published early research on insecticide-resistant bed bugs. She's won basically every award in her field. And she is also — according to Courtney — a total babe who once marched down Constitution Avenue dancing to Beyoncé at the 2017 Women's March.

Today she's at Virginia Tech, pushing the entire industry to switch from IPM (integrated pest management) to APM (assessment-based pest management) — the radical idea that we should actually measure whether pest treatments work before and after, instead of just spraying 55-year-old chemicals and calling it done. She's trying to get U.S. HUD to pay for pest control rather than pesticide application, because apparently those are not the same thing. Spoiler: the current administration has eliminated most of the people who could help her do it.

What you'll actually learn: how to identify a bed bug (size of an apple seed; babies are the size of a comma in a paperback book); why they poop a lot and what the little black marks mean; why lint rollers are your best friend; why hotels aren't actually the problem but apartments are (92% of professional bed bug treatments); who's most at risk right now (the elderly, nursing homes, dialysis centers); the medical shame that keeps people isolated; why the Food Quality Protection Act limits what we can use indoors; what fumigation can and can't do; traumatic insemination (yes, that's a thing male bed bugs do, and it's exactly what it sounds like); and why the only thing that is 100% guaranteed to work is tenting your whole house.

Also: how a female bed bug lays 25% more eggs if she can get away from the dudes, why cockroaches smell distinctly enough that an entomologist can identify them in a restaurant glass, what delusory parasitosis is, the man who put raw hamburger mixed with gasoline on his bald head to sleep (his house burned down), Dini's seven rescue cats and her dog Carol who adopted her against her will, and the single best piece of life advice from a woman who built an entire international career on cockroach crap: you just have no idea where life is going to take you. Keep saying yes.

Reach Dr. Dini Miller directly:
📧 dinim@vt.edu
📄 Google "VDACS bed bug" (Virginia Dept. of Agriculture & Consumer Services) for her free fact sheets on bed bugs in apartments, social service orgs, heat treatment, chemical and non-chemical methods, and identification. All free, all accurate, all written by Dini.

If you work in or know anyone at an elder care facility, assisted living, dialysis center, or social service org that needs bed bug training — Dini provides it for free through Virginia Cooperative Extension. Call her office or email her directly.

Follow the show:
📧 thatwasnttheplanpod@gmail.com
🌐 https://thatwasnttheplan.com
🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5RNnSi4FzNM3HbTpFErYgP
🍎 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/that-wasnt-the-plan/id1868758889
▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@That_Wasnt_The_Plan
📱 Instagram: @thatwasnttheplan_podcast
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If today's episode made you want to lint-roll your luggage, please rate, review, and share. New episodes return next week.

#ThatWasntThePlan #TWTPPodcast #FromTheVault #BedBugs #UrbanEntomology #PestControl #VirginiaTech #WomenInSTEM #WomenInScience #DrDiniMiller #IPM #APM #TravelTips #HotelTips #PublicHealth #EntomologyPodcast #ScienceCommunication #StoryDrivenPodcast #WomenPodcasters #MidlifePodcast

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Welcome to Sunday Brunch — a new TWTP format where Emily and Courtney invite a friend to the table to talk about the thing that's eating all of us at the same time. For our first one, we called in Becky Smith.

Becky is Emily's longtime close friend, a healthcare provider, and — most importantly for today — a woman who, within the span of about four months, dropped her only son off at college, watched her feisty 82-year-old mother fall twice (once at Becky's own house, once days after college drop-off), and became the sole long-distance caregiver for a mother who's also the primary caregiver for Becky's sister. In other words: Becky is the sandwich generation, and she's doing it mostly solo.

Emily's mom Jan took a bad fall six years ago and never fully bounced back. Dad is the primary caregiver. Emily lives in Seattle, siblings are in Colorado, and the weight of the "set up systems that don't stick" cycle is real. Courtney and her husband Jonathan recently moved his dad in with them — Lewis Body dementia, Parkinson's — and discovered that purpose and panic can live in the same house, sometimes at 6 a.m. in the front yard in their underwear.

What this conversation actually is: three women telling the truth about caring for the people who raised us. The grief before the loss. The specific rage of setting up a care team that your mom then fires in a week. The gift of being able to show up in person vs. the exhaustion of long-distance coordination. The reminder, delivered quietly and perfectly by Emily partway through: this is their first and only time on this planet too — and they are lucky to have gotten this far.

A gentle reminder to grieve the role change out loud, to let yourself cry when it happens instead of filing it away for later, and to approach your parent as the human they are, not the problem to be managed. We don't solve it. We just come to the table.

If you're in it right now, some things to look into:

• Support groups for caregivers — there's one for whatever you're facing, and most now meet on Zoom. Try the Family Caregiver Alliance (caregiver.org), AARP's caregiver resources (aarp.org/caregiving), or search "[your parent's condition] caregiver support group" to find one specific to what you're walking through.
• Home-based care through Medicare / Medicaid — ask your parent's primary care doctor to connect you with a home health coordinator, or search for home-care programs in their state. Courtney's family worked with Carilion Clinic's home care team in Virginia; your region will have an equivalent.
• Alzheimer's Association 24/7 helpline: 1-800-272-3900
• Eldercare Locator (US): 1-800-677-1116

Follow the show:
📧 thatwasnttheplanpod@gmail.com
🌐 https://thatwasnttheplan.com
🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5RNnSi4FzNM3HbTpFErYgP
🍎 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/that-wasnt-the-plan/id1868758889
▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@That_Wasnt_The_Plan
📱 Instagram: @thatwasnttheplan_podcast
🎵 TikTok: @that_wasnt_the_plan

If today's episode made you feel less alone — please rate, review, and share it with the friend who's also in the thick of it. That's the whole point.

#ThatWasntThePlan #TWTPPodcast #SundayBrunch #SandwichGeneration #CaregiverSupport #AgingParents #GenX #CaregivingJourney #Dementia #LewisBodyDementia #AdultChildrenOfAgingParents #MidlifePodcast #WomenPodcasters #CaregiverBurnout #CaregivingAndCommunity #StoryDrivenPodcast

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