Hold onto your ear holes, kids. This year’s got more crazy than you can shake a pop festival at. From January tornadoes to coronal mass ejections. You read that right. They're a thing. Fish rain. Fake Soviet attacks. Rock and roll tulip auctions. A spy who became a famous prisoner. A Tibbs who became a famous line. Laughing in. Ferocious Bonnie and flaccid Clyde. A sergeant with a band full of lonely hearts. A groundbreaking heart surgeon with forty-six of ‘em. The first ATM. Yes. Tune in. Turn on. And drop whatever you’re doing. You won’t wanna miss the mayhem and madness that makes up this very special year.

Who knew Thomas Edison and elephants didn’t mix? And forget that Niagara Honeymoon. It’s dry as a bone. Teddy Roosevelt ends up in every tot's nursery. Sort of. Houdini escapes an Amsterdam jail. Naked. On purpose. Some dandy spends $8000 to drive across the U.S. to win a $50 bet. Lincoln’s ghost haunts the White House. Satan’s in the attic. And somebody’s making bank selling eye glasses to chickens. This year is kind of embarrassed with itself. But the better for us. Open those ear holes wide and let the fun pour in.

Hold onto your Spinning Jennies. This year had inline skates and Daniel Boone! Yes! A patriot who couldn’t be killed. Couples’ romantic futures settled in a closed sack. Posh women strolling around with frigates in their hair. Start of the Industrial Revolution? More like a Crazy Coup! Tell your ears they’re in for something special. The year history needed a vacation from.