Reema shared how her cancer experience might have been similar to and different from someone who is not an oncologist, and how this experience has influenced the way she practices medicine today.

Please follow the podcast if these stories are resonating with you. I would also be grateful if you can leave an honest rating and review so I know if I am serving the interests and needs of you listeners out there.

Have topic suggestions or feedback about the show? Contact me on Instagram or email me at talkaboutcancerpodcast@gmail.com.

Thank you for listening!

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My reflections on the conversation:

Before talking to Reema, I wondered how her experience with cancer might be different from people who are not doctors. The one thing that I didn’t expect was the extra layer of stress she had when family and friends continued to look to her to be the expert of her own situation. She definitely was the medical expert, but I can see how wearing the “doctor” and the “patient” hats at the same time would be very confusing and exhausting. As she gently reminded me during our conversation - doctors are humans too! And there are simply no shortcuts when it comes to navigating the emotional experience of cancer.

Charles shared how having lost so many family members to cancer shapes how he approaches caregiving for his wife today, and how leaning into art and dark humor has helped him process and cope with it all.

Check out some of Charles' recent work:

• Short film: A History of Worry
• Short story collection: Slippery When Metastasized
• Coloring book: Pug Monster Gallery
• HuffPost article about air guitar workout

You can connect with him on his website, Twitter, and Instagram.

Please follow the podcast if these stories are resonating with you. I would also be grateful if you can leave an honest rating and review so I know if I am serving the interests and needs of you listeners out there.

Have topic suggestions or feedback about the show? Contact me on Instagram or email me at talkaboutcancerpodcast@gmail.com.

Thank you for listening!

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My reflections on the conversation:

I was struck by the way Charles framed his caregiving experience as being "on the ride.” I never thought about my own caregiving experience this way because it sounds a bit detached or somehow not invested in what’s going on. But I knew that was not what Charles meant and when I thought more about it, I realized how helpful this framing could be for caregivers - because it takes us out of the “driver seat,” which is what many of us would try to “inhabit” in a difficult situation because we feel it’s what we are supposed to do to take care of our loved ones. But when we do that, our own needs can come to the forefront and the needs of the person dealing with cancer could get lost.

This framing also acknowledges that we will not have complete control over the situation and it’s not our fault if our loved ones have to suffer. Acceptance doesn’t mean that we don’t try our best to provide support, but it takes the pressure off of caregivers to keep searching for the perfect solution when often, that does not exist.

Nefa-Tari shared the devastating experience of being diagnosed with uterine cancer and ending her marriage soon after, and how she eventually found her way out of that incredibly tough period by advocating for her own needs and leaning on her faith.

Check out the services SHARE offers and connect with Nefa-Tari!

Please follow the podcast if these stories are resonating with you. I would also be grateful if you can leave an honest rating and review so I know if I am serving the interests and needs of you listeners out there.

Have topic suggestions or feedback about the show? Contact me on Instagram or email me at talkaboutcancerpodcast@gmail.com.

Thank you for listening!

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My reflections on the conversation:

Losing a relationship after a cancer diagnosis - whether a family member or a friend - can feel like the ultimate betrayal for cancer people. I’ve learned early on that some people just don’t know how to deal with all the emotions and responsibilities that come with a cancer diagnosis, but it still sucks when the person you thought you could count really isn’t up for the job. Like Nefa Tari and other guests on the show have mentioned, when dealing with cancer, you have to prioritize yourself, even if that means ending relationships that are so important to you. But the space that gets vacated will be filled by people who can meet you where you are.