Perhaps a rather unusual topic to chat about but with such a large post WW2 migrant population in Australia and other countries, perhaps not so niche. Many are elderly now and many more have died, so the want to take them back home, is greater now than ever before.

Have you taken a loved one’s ashes back to their home town, to a country outside of where they lived most of their life?

The last time we were all together as an extended family in Dad’s home town in Italy, it was for his 70th birthday. For my Dad, knowing where he came from was important for us to understand and connect with. Something we have lovingly kept up as family members for over 13 years. But this next trip was something very different. And it proved to be far more complicated than we ever imagined.

‘Smuggling’ them in a suitcase was never going to be an option for us. Being separated from Dad was not going to happen, nor was risking that the suitcase might go missing in transit. No. He was going to be safely stored in Mum’s carry on and that meant going through customs with them. It had to be done in accordance with Italian law.

In this conversation I share my top tips for taking this task on and what was involved in the process.

It took us almost 4 months to obtain Dad’s Mortuary Passport, the official document required to accompany his ashes, in addition to other official papers that also had to be translated into Italian, including an apostilled original Death Certificate.

The departments involved in this process included:

* The local council where we were wanting to scatter Dad’s ashes

* The Italian Consulate closest to us here in Australia

* The Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade - Passport Office

* Births, Deaths and Marriages - because I had to get another original Death Certificate issued

Funeral directors can also assist with this process. Ours prepared the ashes in an appropriate sealed container fit for airline travel as well as the documents certifying its contents.

Family on the ground in Italy to help with face to face communications were invaluable because emails were not being responded to.

The language barrier (my very limited Italian and the local Italian limited English) also added to misunderstandings and uncertainty of what the process was and what was required to be done.

I learned that public opening ours for the local commune in Italy and the Consulate here are rather limited. Only open a few days a week for inquiries and for a few hours at a time. That extended the time line too.

The emotional toll of this experience was mounting and intensifying. Mum’s concerns and anxiety were riding high and with it the pressure I put on myself not let her and the others down, was right up there too. Failure was not an option. With airfares and accommodation paid for 12 of us, there was much to undo if the necessary documentation was not obtained.

There was a deadline to meet. We did it with 3 weeks to spare.

Taking my beautiful Dad back home. To the place that never left his heart. Firmly and forever in mine.

Anita xx

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