Javier Ortega Ariza is a compassionate, sensitive writer who has published two essays with Recovery Diaries, including his moving and powerful essay “Surviving Suicidality To Live In A Wonderful World” which explores a "last walk" he took after deciding to die by suicide, and his beautiful decision to stay. Javier reads this essay aloud on this compelling episode of our podcast, "Recovery Diaries in Depth", which explores men’s mental health, suicidality, hope, resilience, and the bravery of mental health storytelling. Javier and Gabe are two men who have personal experience with contemplating suicide and this intimate and vulnerable conversation is well worth hearing, and sharing.

Javier sees writing as "exposure therapy"; going to uncomfortable places in his writing to share hope and connection with others. There is a gentleness about him that is undoubtedly the result of how he has decided to view the world; as wonderful and hopeful. He is challenging self-critical voices in his head and working through doubt and fear every day, and helping others do the same.

In his discussion with Gabe, Javier reflects on what has helped him get and stay healthy; therapy, boundaries, ho‘oponopono, and the not-quite-cinematic text message that arrived mid-walk to remind him of the work and the love that keep him here. Returning to San Miguel years later, he carries the same streets but different eyes, proof that healing isn’t linear and growth can coexist with grief.

Javier is a living, breathing reminder that, if you stay, your life can change in ways you never dreamed possible. This important conversation should be shared with anyone you know who may be struggling, and anyone you know who appears, like Javier did when he was at his darkest, to have it all, and may very well be struggling in silence. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help more people find stories that keep them here.

Conversations like the ones on this podcast can sometimes be hard, but they’re always necessary. If you or someone you know is struggling, please consider visiting wannatalkaboutit.com. If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please call, text, or chat 988.

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