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I know, I know, the actual title of the Clive Barker novella is "The Hellbound Heart" but "Hellraiser" is such a punchy title. Plus, let's think of the algorithmic clout for once! I mean, it doesn't hurt that Clive Barker's Hellraiser: Revival launched this week for the gamers. Imagine if this podcast had more than 5 listeners thanks to clout chasing. A creep can dream...

Regardless of proper titles, we cover it all this episode: the Ninja Turtles, the floor plan of the Golden Girls' house, how to act like you're a big shot at the bookstore, the film Primetime, encountering nuns at Best Buy, Buzz' big back walks directlyu inspiring the game Katamari Damacy, and so much more. Trust us, it's a real rambler bruv.

Despite the power of the puzzle box being called the "schism," we seamlessly and almost professionally blend the novella and film together as we recap the whole darn thing, so spoilers abound.

The episode description. You read it, we came.

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Wow, is it already time for our annual episode again? Just kidding, we're gonna try to do more episodes more frequently now that we're on an emotional upswing (at least we're trying right? Surely that counts for almost something...).

This episode celebrates the more than three decades of Laurell K. Hamilton's "Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter" series of urban fantasy horror and crime novels by revisiting the first entry in the series, "Guilty Pleasures".

Scooch your seat up real close to the vampire burlesque catwalk, dig out your old "Vampires are people too" pins, and find a stuffed penguin to curl up with as we reanimate the book that started it all for the "tough as nails" vampire hunter.

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Ride with us... for our pleasure... as we pursue the Tooth Fairy in Thomas Harris' "Red Dragon."

Learn how eating centuries old watercolors can improve your gut microbiome, which brand of fast dissolving toilet paper is best for letter writing, and which aftershave to pick for a trip to visit the wonderful Hannibal Lecter.

Plus, we are really excited to finally have a reason to talk about NBC's "Hannibal." I mean, have you seen it? It's so good!

We make sure to tag and bag all the evidence on this one (including that block of cheese), so be ready for spoilers if you are new to the Lecter-verse. No, I don't think Lecter-verse will catch on, but maybe the LCU (Lecter Cinematic Universe)?