It’s a very, very special edition of Simon Mayo’s Confessions… a Cluedo special.

Five classic confessions are reopened from the crypt, featuring suspicious behaviour on quiet country roads, RAF Police patrols “hunting” late-night Cluedo enthusiasts, and Storm Doris scattering some extremely awkward bin evidence across an English garden.

Plus: the Keymaster of ’94 reveals the fatal flaw in a southwest Wales caravan park key system (and the unfortunate elderly couple who walked in at the worst possible moment).

And finally, the confession that started it all: Max, the conservatory, Colonel Mustard… and three-and-a-half years of truly despicable behaviour.

Got a confession? confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective.

Mike takes us back to 1971, where a cow’s eye from biology class ends up hiding under a canteen lettuce leaf… with Big Cath, Carol-with-an-E.

Then Babs squeezes into her teenage daughter’s favourite dress, enjoys 30 seconds of catwalk glory but it all end terribly.

Plus: there's a bus-shelter “coolant” taste test, and Steve’s Frankenstein-inspired plan to rejuvenate Gran with copper wire and a lightning storm.

Got a confession? confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo, Sister Holly, Sister Suzi and Brother Matthew for Episode 7 of Season 8… and yes, the numbering is definitely, probably, completely accurate.

Thomas confesses to an 80s campaign of fake-spider terror against his devout granny. Doris’s mum admits to tackling the messiest teenage bedroom on earth. Plus: a 1973 sponsored walk sabotaged with reversed arrows, and a Scottish council depot prank that has grown men shouting “PAPER TOWELS NOW!” at a metal box.

Got a confession? confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk