We've crowned a new champion for 2026... and much to the dismay of his downtrodden subjects, Ben Kessler, our benevolent dictator and manager of Jakarr's All-Stars, has taken the chip. We break down the closer-than-expected Finals matchup, the Memphis Grizzlies playing a 22-man squad of fake players, 15 hours of unwatchable NBA basketball, the messy Milwaukee / Giannis break up, thoughts and prayers for Lakers fans from a Clippers fan, and the silly, stupid team name in Las Vegas.

In an unbelievable twist of fate, Joe Kessler, 2-time defending champion co-manager, and the most requested guest from our group chat, makes his SYL debut! We cover an array of topics including: Chicago and Philly sports similarities, Eagles fans hitting rock bottom at a Waffle House outside of Jacksonville, the bittersweet Joel Embiid story, a contentious Semifinals matchup versus his own son, a convincing Wilt GOAT case, and so much more.

The quarterfinals have concluded and only 4 teams remain in our trivial basketball simulation. My opponent in the semifinals, Greg Gerschenson (manager of Sombor Shuffahlas), makes his podcast debut. We cover a wide range of topics including the Denver Sports thingamajig, a cursed Bradley Beal bobblehead, greedy Lakers fans telling you how to feel, Jrue You's vs. Jakarr's in the heavyweight match of the century, SlamBall being 33% Jackass, why Oakland should get the All-Star game, why Hawaii shouldn't get an NBA team, and some of our favorite pure shooters of all time.