Recommended Episodes

• Secret #5: Body Shame with Emily Sandoz
• Secret #7: Parental Guilt with Dr. Yael Schonbrun
• Secret #26: Victim Blame with Dr. Amy Beddows

Guilt and shame often linger long after trauma, quietly shaping how we see ourselves and our relationships. In this episode, clinical psychologist Dr. Carolyn Allard explains why guilt and shame can be adaptive—and how they become harmful when they overstay their welcome.

Key Takeaways

• Trauma-related guilt and shame can begin as survival strategies but become non-adaptive over time
• Non-adaptive guilt and shame (NAGS) fuel avoidance, people-pleasing, and self-blame
• Hindsight bias intensifies guilt by judging past actions with information we didn’t have at the time
• Values-based decision making helps replace guilt-driven choices with intentional living

View extended shownotes here

Struggling with your child’s big feelings? Our new children’s workbooks are here to help kids and parents handle worry, disappointment, and anger using practical, compassionate tools. Follow the journeys of Justin Case, the Glumm Twins, and Max Cross as they learn that tough emotions are normal and manageable. Find all three workbooks at bookstores everywhere and give your family the support they deserve.

• ORDER Max Cross Gets Unstuck from Anger: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook series for kids)
• ORDER Justin Case Sits with Anxiety: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)
• ORDER The Glumm Twins Unhook from Sadness: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Ages 8-12 (ACT Workbook Series for Kids)