Scout - Part II
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Immediately, he said he shouted for his co-workers to "Dive! Take cover! Stay down!" After making it out of the building, one of the first sensations Scout recalled was fear. "The fear was palpable," he said. But instead of leaving, Scout and a co-worker decided to climb a fence and go back into the building to help those who were trapped inside. He recalled that, "One of the renovation guys was fumbling with a big ring of keys [to unlock the gate at the fence]. You know, it was almost comical. I got frustrated.”
Eventually, his co-worker helped him climb the chain-link fence to the “other side” so that he could help others. That morning, after having successfully exited the burning building, Scout would make two entries into the building to help others. He did this amid falling debris, smoke, and fire, along with what he called “an ad hoc team of strangers.” He told me: "I was on a mission; the mission was to help. The only thing I thought about was, 'there's got to be somebody here that I can help.'" Later, covered in soot and down to his T-shirt – which he had torn to make masks to shield himself and others from the smoke- he volunteered for the Litter team.
He recalled being taunted with thoughts of his family and wondering if he was “doing the right thing” by risking his life for others instead of going home to his family. But he says, "I know if I had left, I would have felt a traitor to everything that I ever said was important. It would be impossible for me to speak with any sense of conviction about anything. I made the right decision... had I left, I would have been haunted. And September 11 would have been even harder for me to deal with. In a moment of sad levity,
Scout joked about how his experience on September 11 had given him a newfound love for Flashlights; he said: "Because of the darkness that I had been in, I went out and bought a flashlight that night ... one of those big police flashlights. I slept with it. I went to dinner with it. I felt like I was a soldier on the battlefield, and like having a rifle, I didn't want to be anywhere without my flashlight."
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