In this episode I talk about living without a “baseline” and the swings between days of huge momentum and days where everything stalls. Living with ADHD and BPD means my capacity isn’t always stable, and when I run hot — big output, little sleep, racing thoughts — it can feel productive right up until it isn’t. I unpack how workaholic thinking, the inner critic and impostor syndrome turn urgency into a virtue, and why that pattern has landed me in hospital before.

This episode is about pacing instead of pushing: recognising the warning signs, building recovery into the plan, and redefining success as staying in the game rather than burning out. But I haven't quite nailed down how to do all of this. I also speak honestly about medication — what helps, what complicates things, and how I’m trying to put guardrails around it. If your baseline feels like a moving target, this is a reflection on how I need to find sustainable momentum without destroying my engine.

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Follow my journey through the chaos of mental illness and the hard-fought lessons learned along the way.
Lived experience is at the heart of this podcast — every episode told through my own lens, with raw honesty and zero filter.

This is a genuine and vulnerable account of how multiple psychological disorders have shaped my past and continue to influence my future.

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Created by Elliot Waters — Inspired by lived experience.
Mental health insights, real stories, real conversations.