Description: In Part 16 of Relationships in HD, Pastor Eric turns to one of the most misunderstood aspects of love: discipline. Drawing from his own life as a dad, granddad, and former “strong-willed kid,” he shows how God’s discipline is never random, never petty, and never about venting anger—it is always formative, always purposeful, always rooted in His good will toward His children.

Before talking about discipline, Pastor Eric goes back to the foundation: Who are the children of God? From John 3, he walks through Jesus’ conversation with Nicodemus and makes it unmistakably clear: you are not born a Christian because you grew up in church, kept the rules, or tried to be good. You must be born again. There has to be a moment where you move from unbelief to belief, from “I’ve always known about God” to “I have trusted Christ as my Savior.”

Once that identity is settled, Hebrews 12 opens up: the Father disciplines His children—not to crush them, but to train them. Pastor Eric contrasts punitive discipline (reaction, rage, embarrassment, control) with biblical discipline (training, formation, character-shaping). He shows how grace itself “teaches” and trains us to deny ungodliness, and how God often uses Scripture, consequences, and even painful seasons to form Christ in us.

Along the way he challenges parents not to repeat the mistakes they received—harsh, angry, or absent discipline, or no discipline at all—but to imitate their heavenly Father: correcting from a place of good will, with a clear goal in mind, for the child’s growth and long-term good.

Practical, honest, and full of both conviction and hope, this message calls believers to receive the Father’s discipline—and then reflect it, by disciplining their own children with wisdom, love, and intentionality.

Key Scriptures (NKJV): John 3:1–8; John 3:16–18; Ephesians 2:1; Hebrews 12:9–11; 2 Timothy 3:16–17; Titus 2:11–12; Proverbs 29:18; Proverbs 4:7; Romans 2:4.

Highlights:

• Why Pastor Eric starts with this question: “Have you been born again, or have you just always been religious?”

• Not all people are God’s children—only those who have been born again by trusting Christ.

• Nicodemus as a warning: deeply religious, scripturally trained, morally upright—and still “out” without the new birth.

• What “believe” really means: not just agreeing with facts, but trusting, relying on, and acting on who Jesus is and what He’s done.

• Hebrews 12: the Father disciplines His children “for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness.”

• Discipline defined: not mainly punishment, but training—shaping behavior and character with a clear goal in mind.

• Grace as a teacher: how God’s kindness and favor train us to say no to sin and yes to godly living (Titus 2:11–12; Romans 2:4).

• The danger of reactionary discipline: punishing kids because they embarrassed you, not because you love them.

• Why lack of discipline is theft: how refusing to set boundaries and consequences actually robs children of growth, wisdom, and readiness for life.

• Breaking the cycle: moving beyond harsh, chaotic, or inconsistent discipline you may have received and learning to discipline from goodwill.

• God’s discipline as a gift: not proof that He’s against you, but proof that He owns you, loves you, and is committed to your holiness.

Next Steps: First, settle the foundational question: Have I been born again? If you can’t point to a time when you turned from self-reliance and trusted Christ alone to save you, begin with John 3 and ask God to bring you to that place of real faith.

Then, as a child of God, ask Him to show you where He’s currently disciplining you—not to punish you, but to train you. Instead of resisting or running, pray, “Father, what are You trying to form in me through this?”

If you’re a parent or mentor, take one practical step this week to discipline from goodwill: clarify your goal before correcting, choose calm over rage, and make sure your child knows this is about their growth, not your embarrassment. Ask God to help you break unhealthy patterns and become a living picture of His wise, firm, and loving discipline.