Your adult kids found out about the affair, and now they have strong opinions about whether you should stay.

In this episode of Relationships Uncomplicated, Idit Sharoni, LMFT, is joined by Dr. Yael Neagu, LMFT, clinical director at Relationship Experts, for a conversation with the parents who decided to stay and heal and found their grown children taking sides, pushing for divorce, or pulling away.

They talk about why your kids' grief is real and is also a feeling, not a license, and why cutting off a parent isn't a boundary. They also cover what Salvador Minuchin's structural model of the family teaches about keeping the couple and the children in their own places, and how to protect your repair while you stay close to your kids.

You'll hear what actually helps your children heal: acknowledgment, responsibility, and a united front that comes from both of you. Your children get a real voice in this. What they don't get is a vote.

If you and your partner want to stay and the people you love most are making that harder, request a private 45-minute consultation at https://iditsharoni.com/45, and we'll tell you honestly whether It's Okay to Stay, our infidelity recovery program, is the right fit for you.

Read more about the structural family model at https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/structural-family-therapy.

Loving your children and protecting your marriage were never two different jobs.

The affair is over. He's home. You're doing the work, and on paper things are moving in the right direction. So why does your chest still go tight when his name lights up your phone? Why does your mind race to the worst place when he's fifteen minutes late?

If your head has moved on from the betrayal but your body hasn't, you're not broken, and you're not going backwards. That's betrayal trauma, and trauma is treatable.

In this episode of Relationships Uncomplicated, Idit Sharoni, LMFT, is joined by Alana Tokayer, LMFT, one of the expert therapists on her team, who is trained in EMDR and works closely with hurt partners after infidelity. Together they explain why the discovery of an affair lives in your nervous system and not just in your thoughts, what EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) actually does and what it doesn't, and what a session really looks like, including why you're never asked to retell the affair over and over. You'll hear how the belief so many hurt partners carry, "I'm not enough," can shift over the course of the work, why one client joked that it felt like sorcery, why intrusive thoughts often quiet down once a memory loses its charge, how to tell whether it's too early to start, and what can happen when this work is done inside a couples session with both partners in the room.

The goal was never to make you forget what happened. It's to help you move from reliving it to remembering it.

Mentioned in this episode: Episode 85, Do You Need Every Detail for Infidelity Recovery?
https://iditsharoni.com/85-do-you-need-every-detail-for-infidelity-recovery/

At Relationship Experts, the couples work and the individual betrayal trauma work happen under one roof, with one team that knows your story. If this episode spoke to you, apply to work with us, and we'll figure out together what you and your relationship actually need: https://iditsharoni.com/45

You don't have to forget the story. You just don't have to keep living inside the worst chapter of it.

When you discover your partner's affair was with someone of the same sex, the betrayal comes with a second wave of questions you never expected to ask. Does this mean he's gay? Was our whole marriage a lie? Am I even enough? And almost everyone around you seems to have already decided what it means.

In this episode, Idit Sharoni is joined by two colleagues from her clinical team, Dr. Yael Haklai-Neagu and Alana Tokayer. All three are licensed marriage and family therapists who specialize in infidelity recovery, and all three have sat with couples in the aftermath of same-sex infidelity in a heterosexual marriage. Together they take apart the assumptions most people jump to in the first sixty seconds and open the door to what's actually true.

You'll hear why a same-sex affair doesn't automatically mean your partner is gay, why attraction, behavior, and identity are three separate things that don't always line up, and why this kind of betrayal feels like the worst case imaginable even though it isn't beyond repair. We talk about the real reasons a straight-identified partner might have a same-sex encounter, whether someone attracted to more than one gender can be faithful, and what actually predicts whether a marriage heals. This conversation is for the hurt partner and the unfaithful partner both, and it comes without any agenda about whether you stay or go.

We created a free guide to go with this episode, Navigating Betrayal and Identity. It reframes what this kind of betrayal really is, gives you clear language for the questions keeping you up at night, and walks you through an evidence-based way to understand sexuality so you can quiet the assumptions and see your situation more clearly. Download it here: https://iditsharoni.com/navigating-betrayal-and-identity-guide

And if you're ready to talk it through with someone who understands this, we offer a free 45-minute consultation. We'll help you understand where things stand and whether our program, It's Okay to Stay, is the right fit to help you heal and rebuild. Book your call here: https://iditsharoni.com/45

It's okay to stay. It's also okay to not know yet.