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Realities Beyond Words

Realities Beyond Words

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MY APOLOGIA FOR THE GOSPEL Father has been giving me songs since childhood, and I’m persuaded these songs are my vocation. I loved to sing to the Lord since childhood, and when I went to church, I was awed by the choir as they sang the Lord’s praises. Then I bought the hymnal, and began singing the songs in it. I started reading scriptures in my teens, and there were some passages which completely baffled me I turned them into songs. The scriptures were so good, I wanted to sing them. The utmost form of worship for me particularly is singing to the Lord. The Lord also is faithful for there came a time when he began to make me hear songs in the dream. These were rare occasions, but in my dream, I would hear a song in the background, and if I remembered it when I woke up, then I got the song. Before I had a phone to record the song in the night so it doesn’t get lost in the morning, I would sing the song repeatedly at night so that I could remember it in the morning. The songs I couldn’t remember were lost. Other times, I couldn’t bring the song from the realm of dream to this realm, and so I know it was a theophany at that moment because the song could not be reproduced. I could not sing it, but I heard a beauty not of this world in my dream – it was the Lord. Since these songs are the highest form of worship to me, they are also the most beautiful thing in the world. This is because it is the Lord that I sing. I say, The Lord is the Melody I hear, the Music I dance, the Song I sing. These songs are the fruits of my communion with the Lord. When I pray to the Lord, when I read scriptures, when I meditate, when I listen to music, when I go to church, when I attend Mass, when I commune with my siblings, and brethren, people, angels, and nature, it is wonderful, and I am so happy to have the privilege of enjoying these various forms of devotion. The recompense of these various forms of devotion is that I turn these experiences into song. A song is the highest form of expression of these various activities, and I have not known any form of worship that has delighted me as much as singing these things to the Father. A song is the culmination of all my activities in this world. If I could, I would eat these songs for they are so delicious. There is no other way higher for me to express my love to the Father except by singing to him. Hence, the Lord is the Song that I sing. And Father has been faithful and has shown me some wonderful sounds, and even theophany of him in the dream in the form of songs. I sang hymns to the Lord in my childhood. I tried to compose songs in my teens, and these were lengthy offbeat canticles consisting of whole scriptural passages. Sometimes, I imagine songs, but they don’t manifest as I want them; sometimes, I have choruses, but can’t find verses for them, while some verses don’t match with the chorus. The theophany I have in the dream in the form of songs are pure delight, beauty itself, and transcendental. However, many get lost in the waking state for I couldn’t remember them. Some are non-metrical and offbeat so they are unsingable in the waking state meanwhile they were magical in the dream. I couldn’t find the lyrics of others, and many were altered and don’t portray the beauty I heard while some are so transcendental they can’t be reproduced in the phenomenal wold. However, I managed to retrieve some of the songs, and they are musical and pleasant though nothing compared to the beauty I heard. Still, some manifest in the waking state with beauty even if it’s unlike that which I heard. For I heard angels singing, I heard the song in its fullness, complete and performed excellently. Then I woke up in the night, and sang it on my phone. Though I have somehow retrieved the songs, I don’t have this great voice to sing it, I don’t have the choir of angels to perform it, I don’t know the language they are singing in, nor the words uttered, I have no instruments to upgrade it.
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