The Pearland Fantasy Men | Week 5 Recap — BEN SCORES 208! Andrew Breaks the Curse 🌶️

IS HE THE GREATEST FANTASY FOOTBALL COACH EVER?!

Week 5 of the PFFL is absolute chaos. Andrew and Nathan return with surprise guest Terence for another episode featuring fantasy football disasters, group chat stupidity, and a historic scoring performance.

🌶️ THE SRIRACHA BOTTLE GOES TO... WHO?!

The Dumbest Thing Said in the Chat segment returns! Luke's obscure sports-radio commentary, Nick thinking he's banned from the group chat, and Matt's inability to submit Pick'em picks are all nominated.

But Andrew becomes the target after claiming Fantrax doesn't show points against. Nathan exposes him with a single click, Terence joins the roast, and Andrew responds by muting his own co-hosts!

🐒 THE LEMUR CURSE IS BROKEN!

After starting 0–4, Andrew FINALLY gets his first win, absolutely destroying Dustin. Unfortunately, Dustin's return to the Alvin and the Bo Hunks team name couldn't save him.

👑 BEN'S OBSIDIAN CLUB HAS ITS FIRST MEMBER!

Ben created an exclusive club for anyone who scores 200 points in a week. During the recording, Josh Allen's turnovers threaten to ruin his chances.

But stay until the end for BREAKING NEWS: BEN FINISHES WITH 208 POINTS! The commissioner becomes the first member of his own Obsidian Club.

🔥 MATT IS STILL UNDEFEATED

Matt cruises toward 5–0, and the hosts debate whether his success involves any actual fantasy football skill. Meanwhile, Terence hands rookie Nick his first loss, sending Nick toward Survivor elimination.

🚨 WHERE IS NATE?

The investigation continues. Nobody seems to know where Nate is, but there's evidence he's at least opened the fantasy football app.

Plus: Week 5 matchup breakdowns, Carter's roster controversy, anonymous rule-change proposals, Survivor eliminations, Pick'em standings, and Nathan's birthday trivia!

⏱️ CHAPTERS

00:38 — Welcome Back to the PFFL
01:49 — Andrew's Internet vs. His Fantasy Team
03:30 — Roasting Other Fantasy Leagues
04:43 — Dumbest Thing Said in the Chat 🌶️
05:22 — Why Won't Anyone Join the Podcast?
09:21 — Terence Makes a Surprise Appearance
10:22 — The Sriracha Nominees
14:04 — Andrew Gets Exposed by Fantrax
17:01 — Andrew Discovers His Points Against
18:51 — The Sriracha Bottle Vote
19:23 — Andrew Mutes His Co-Hosts
20:17 — Andrew FINALLY Wins!
25:47 — Ben Chases the Obsidian Card
26:56 — Josh Allen's Live Scoring Disaster
28:18 — Where Is Nate?!
30:09 — Nathan vs. Luke
31:29 — Anonymous Insider: Proposed Rule Change
33:38 — Matt's Undefeated Run Continues
35:18 — Terence vs. Nick: First Loss & Survivor
37:28 — Ryan vs. Carter: Roster Controversy
42:23 — Terence Leaves the Show
43:05 — Pick'em Results & Rules Debate
46:38 — Survivor Eliminations
48:38 — Pick'em Standings
50:01 — Nathan's Birthday Trivia Challenge
53:36 — The Original Sign-Off
54:09 — 🚨 BREAKING NEWS: BEN SCORES 208!

🏈 LET US KNOW

Did Andrew deserve the Sriracha Bottle? Is Matt's 5–0 record pure luck? And who is officially the greatest fantasy coach of all time?

Subscribe for weekly PFFL recaps, league drama, and terrible fantasy football decisions!

#FantasyFootball #PFFL #ThePearlandFantasyMen #FantasyFootballPodcast #Week5Recap #FantasyFootball2026 #FantasyFootballHumor

What happens when 14 former Texas A&M rugby players start a fantasy football league?

Apparently you get six years of questionable fantasy decisions, terrible player-pun team names, unfinished last-place punishments, and enough mediocrity to make everybody in the league think they’re competitive.

🏈 WANT US TO ROAST YOUR FANTASY LEAGUE?

Submit it here:

https://roast-my-league.base44.app

Andrew & Dan are back for Episode 3 of YOUR FANTASY LEAGUE SUCKS! This week we’re breaking down a 14-team, half-PPR keeper league made up of Texas A&M Rugby alumni.

Before we even get to fantasy football, Andrew decides everyone needs a completely unnecessary history lesson on Texas A&M Rugby — including national championships, playoff collapses, rugby positions, hookers, loose heads, tight heads, rucks, mauls, the sin bin, and several other things neither host fully understands.

Then we get into the league.

THIS EPISODE INCLUDES:

🏉 Texas A&M Rugby history

🏉 A crash course in rugby rules nobody asked for

🏈 A 14-team fantasy football keeper league

🏈 Six years of manager history

🏈 One manager with ZERO playoff appearances

🏈 Losing career records with championship rings

🏈 The regular-season powerhouse who still can’t win a title

🏈 A kicker drafted in the 7th round

🏈 THREE quarterbacks on one roster

🏈 Team names based on players the managers don’t even own

🥞 A Waffle House punishment completed at IHOP

🎤 One manager who STILL owes five minutes of stand-up comedy

And yes — we are officially starting the campaign to make Andrew Marsh finally complete his last-place punishment.

🔥 WANT YOUR LEAGUE ON THE SHOW?

Send us your standings, rosters, draft results, league history, screenshots, spreadsheets, punishments, ridiculous rules, terrible team names, inside jokes, or whatever else makes your fantasy league suck.

👇 SUBMIT YOUR FANTASY LEAGUE:

https://roast-my-league.base44.app

⏱️ CHAPTERS

00:28 Episode 3 Begins

02:41 Meet the Texas A&M Rugby Alumni League

03:38 Texas A&M Rugby History Lesson

14:13 A 14-Team League?!

14:41 Andrew Attempts to Explain Rugby

21:28 Fantasy League Setup

21:56 The Last-Place Punishment Problem

23:41 Creed — The Njigba Express

26:32 Luke — Nicolodeon

29:51 Jack — Likely Brown Love

31:53 Noah — Bijan Must Turd

35:43 Carter — Ladd McHawkey

39:19 Michael — Michael’s Monstrous Team

42:08 Connor — CeeDeeNutz

45:44 Slim Pickens

48:42 Connor — Burrowing Balls Deep

51:26 Andrew — The Mixon Administration

54:56 Bradley — Saquon Your Balls, What Price?

56:57 James — Steichen Up the Joint

1:00:27 Travis — Team Henry

1:02:42 Nailer I Hardly Know Her

1:05:38 Final Thoughts

1:06:28 Submit Your League / Like & Subscribe

YOUR FANTASY LEAGUE SUCKS! is a fantasy football comedy podcast where real people submit their leagues and Andrew & Dan roast the managers, drafts, team names, rules, punishments, history, and everything else that makes the league terrible.

👍 LIKE

🔔 SUBSCRIBE

💬 COMMENT

🏈 SUBMIT YOUR LEAGUE:

https://roast-my-league.base44.app

Who is the WORST fantasy manager in this league? Let us know in the comments.

#FantasyFootball #FantasyFootballPodcast #FantasyFootballComedy #TexasAM #Rugby #Aggies #YourFantasyLeagueSucks

Andrew and Nathan are back for another Pearland Fantasy Football League recap—and Andrew hasn't even checked Fantrax since Saturday. So this week's results are basically being discovered live on the podcast. Pasted text

But first, we introduce a new weekly tradition: THE SRIRACHA BOTTLE 🌶️.

Say something stupid in the PFFL group chat? Get hit with the Sriracha emoji and you're officially nominated for Dumbest Message of the Week. This week's nominees give us plenty to work with, including Matt's Copilot experiments, Luke apparently ignoring the league's clearly written payout rules, and an incredible Dustin conversation that somehow goes from Astros playoff facts to Jeff Blum to complete confusion. Pasted text

After reviewing the evidence, Dustin becomes the Week 4 Sriracha Bottle Champion. Pasted text

Then we finally get to fantasy football.

Andrew discovers his matchup against Terence live and celebrates finally breaking 100 points—even though the Lemur Curse may still send him to another loss. Nick's undefeated start is suddenly in danger as Ryan mounts a Monday Night Football comeback, while Matt looks ready to emerge as the league's last unquestioned undefeated team.

Elsewhere, Nate is starting players who aren't even playing, Owen finally gets into the win column, Luke's roster decisions get investigated, the weekly payout comes down to the wire, and Survivor elimination could come down to Carter vs. Luke.

Just another normal week in the PFFL.

00:18 — Week 4 Begins
01:05 — NFL Weekend & Andrew Hasn't Checked Fantasy
05:10 — 🌶️ The Sriracha Bottle Is Official
07:03 — Dumbest Group Chat Message Nominees
08:56 — Discovering GroupMe's Copilot Vibe Check
11:58 — Luke Ignores the Weekly Payout Rules
12:57 — The Dustin Group Chat Saga Begins
17:17 — 🌶️ Dustin Wins the Sriracha Bottle
17:38 — Week 4 Matchup Recaps Begin
18:23 — Andrew Discovers His Matchup Live
18:46 — Andrew FINALLY Breaks 100 Points
19:12 — The Lemur Curse Isn't Finished
22:32 — Nick vs. Ryan: Is Nick About to Lose?
26:01 — Carter Needs a New Team Name
27:09 — What Is Nate Doing With His Lineup?
29:30 — Owen Looks for His First Win
32:43 — Nathan's Matchup & Waiver Success
35:09 — Owen Steals the Weekly Payout Lead
36:17 — Matt Is About to Be Undefeated
37:33 — Investigating Luke's Roster Decisions
39:55 — Who Gets Eliminated From Survivor?
43:05 — Standings & Weekly Picks

🌶️ The Sriracha Bottle makes its debut
🤖 Copilot invades the PFFL group chat
🏆 Dustin wins Dumbest Message of the Week
🐒 Andrew battles the Lemur Curse
🔥 Nick's undefeated season is in danger
👑 Matt makes his case for #1
❓ Nate's lineup decisions raise questions
💰 Owen makes a run at the weekly payout
☠️ Survivor comes down to Carter vs. Luke
🏈 Week 4 matchup breakdowns & standings

Who deserves next week's Sriracha Bottle? Start tagging the dumbest messages in the group chat. The committee will review the evidence.

#FantasyFootball #FantasyFootball2026 #FantasyFootballPodcast #Week4 #FantasyFootballRecap #FantasyFootballHumor #PFFL #ThePearlandFantasyMen