October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and this episode centers a grief that is too often left out of that conversation entirely: termination for medical reasons. We are naming it and talking about how friends and family can show up for grieving TFMR moms, dads and parents, in this month and beyond.

In this different episode, Nikki Smith of the Good Grief with Nikki podcast is actually interviewing ME, Sabrina Fletcher, founder of The TFMR Doula. And to amplify the message we decided to air the interview on her podcast too - www.nikkithedeathdoula.com/podcast so listen in here or there!

You can also find Nikki the Death Doula on Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/nikkithedeathdoula⁠

We talk about what it actually means to end a wanted pregnancy after a devastating prenatal diagnosis and why the medical system's and society's and political language so rarely matches the lived experience of grieving parents after an abortion baby loss.

Sabrina became a bereavement doula after her own TFMR in 2018 with her planned and wanted second baby, Clara. She now supports TFMR parents through 1-on-1 bereavement care, decision support calls for those newly facing a diagnosis, and a private community of over 1,000 parents who've walked this path.

Links mentioned:

DECISION SUPPORT FREE CALL: if you've just got a diagnosis and you're gathering information about your options, this is the call for you. If you've already decided to end your wanted pregnancy for any/all health reasons and you're making all the preparations decisions and want to talk to someone who's been through it, this call is for you too. You don't have to go through this alone: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/decision-support

You can also reach out to me through email at sabrina [AT] theTFMRdoula [DOT] com - I want to hear from you and hear your story and light a candle for your baby. Emailing me is a great way to get started with 1on1 support or getting into the right group for you 💜

THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby. ‌

💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby & feel the strength to get through another day

💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, replays always available and JUST as powerful

💜 Month-to-month, as you need support

🌸 $55/month ‌

Join us: http://⁠www.theTFMRdoula.com/join⁠

FREE FACEBOOK GROUP: Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you. PLUS you'll get early access to solo podcast episodes streamed live and get a chance to ask questions live or have your comment/story be part of an episode. All in our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. Witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else.

Share your story in our CLOSED group, and hear how others like you are getting through:

Application only, free membership: ⁠http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

‌

🎙 Want to share your story on the podcast? Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit: "Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod ( https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search ) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

I'll be honest, it has felt HEAVY to be judged after terminating a wanted pregnancy - and it has also made me realize a lot of different things about how we see baby loss, abortion, women, parenting, and the horror of getting a poor prenatal diagnosis.

In the episode I share a bunch of different personal and professional stories of when I have been judged after TFMR... and even JUDGED for supporting others through TFMR! Really, it's made me even more sure of why we need this specific support and groups and circles for parents who have ending a wanted pregnancy.

If you've wondered, was I just judged for my heartbreaking medical decision and baby loss?? listen in to this one.

…

And in this episode I talk about all the TFMR circles and communities I gather. You're invited to join the space that could work for you, places just for TFMR parents:

TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM:

If you're longing for intimate, ongoing support with the same small group, apply now for the Ascend TFMR Grief Circle

💜 Small, intimate groups of 5–6 people, we stay together for 3 months

💬 Real conversations, healing practices, and community support

🌿 Wed. 7pm Eastern time round begins Oct. 7th, Sun. Noon Eastern time round begins Oct. 11th

👉 Info & joining us: http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY:

The TFMR Support Sanctuary: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby. ‌

💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby & feel the strength to get through another day

💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, replays always available and JUST as powerful

💜 Month-to-month, as you need support

🌸 $55/month ‌

Join us: http://⁠www.theTFMRdoula.com/join⁠

FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:

Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you. PLUS you'll get early access to new podcast episodes just like this one and a chance to ask questions live or have your comment/story be part of an episode. All in our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. Witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else.

Share your story in our CLOSED group, and hear how others like you are getting through:

Application only, free membership: ⁠http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup

‌

🎙 Want to share your story on the podcast? Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit: "Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod ( https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search ) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

In Part 2 of 2 with Rosanna Brown, author of The Silence of TFMR, we talk about the origins of the book, the healing powers of writing, behind-the-scenes challenges for getting a book like this (on such a stigmatized and misunderstood topic) published and more in this episode.

If you have felt the SILENCE around TFMR, have felt lonely in your heartbreaking choice, have had your identity and parenthood felt like it is in a million pieces after ending a wanted pregnancy, this episode is for you.

Rosanna Brown and her husband Mike lost their baby William to TFMR for CHAOS syndrome - congenital high-airway obstruction syndrome -

in 2023 and she shares her words of support @‌thesilenceof_TFMR on Instagram for parents who have had to terminate a wanted pregnancy after a devastating diagnosis.

And don’t forget to pick up your copy of The Silence of TFMR:

Bookshop.org

Amazon.com

And in this episode I talk about all the TFMR circles and communities I gather. You're invited to join the space that could work for you, places just for TFMR parents:

TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM:

If you're longing for intimate, ongoing support with the same small group, apply now for the Ascend TFMR Grief Circle

💜 Small, intimate groups of 5–6 people, we stay together for 3 months

💬 Real conversations, healing practices, and community support

🌿 Wed. 7pm Eastern time round begins Oct. 14th,

Sun. Noon Eastern time round begins Oct. 11th

👉 Info & joining us: http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY:

The TFMR Support Sanctuary: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby. ‌

💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby & feel the strength to get through another day

💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, replays always available and JUST as powerful

💜 Month-to-month, as you need support

🌸 $55/month ‌

Join us: http://⁠www.theTFMRdoula.com/join⁠

FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:

Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you. PLUS you'll get early access to new podcast episodes just like this one and a chance to ask questions live or have your comment/story be part of an episode. All in our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle.

Witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. Share your story in our CLOSED group, and hear how others like you are getting through.

Application only, free membership: ⁠http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup ‌

🎙 Want to share your story on the podcast? Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit: "Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod ( https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search ) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Rosanna Brown and her husband Mike lost their baby William to TFMR for CHAOS syndrome - congenital high-airway obstruction syndrome -

in 2023. After her heartbreaking termination baby loss, Rosanna turned to writing - to our community’s benefit now! as her writing is now in book form in the forthcoming “The Silence of TFMR” (out on the 6th of October 2026) Rosanna’s background is in writing, English, & teaching and she shares her words of support @‌thesilenceof_TFMR on Instagram.

You can also find her on Substack here: https://thesilenceoftfmr.substack.com/

And don’t forget to pick up your copy of The Silence of TFMR:

Bookshop.org

Amazon.com

And in this episode I talk about all the TFMR circles and communities I gather. You're invited to join the space that could work for you, places just for TFMR parents:

TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM:

If you're longing for intimate, ongoing support with the same small group, apply now for the Ascend TFMR Grief Circle

💜 Small, intimate groups of 5–6 people, we stay together for 3 months

💬 Real conversations, healing practices, and community support

🌿 Wed. 7pm Eastern time round begins Oct. 14th,

Sun. Noon Eastern time round begins Oct. 11th

👉 Info & joining us: http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY:

The TFMR Support Sanctuary: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby. ‌

💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby & feel the strength to get through another day

💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, replays always available and JUST as powerful

💜 Month-to-month, as you need support

🌸 $55/month ‌

Join us: http://⁠www.theTFMRdoula.com/join⁠

FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:

Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you. PLUS you'll get early access to new podcast episodes just like this one and a chance to ask questions live or have your comment/story be part of an episode. All in our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle.

Witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. Share your story in our CLOSED group, and hear how others like you are getting through.

Application only, free membership: ⁠http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup ‌

🎙 Want to share your story on the podcast? Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit: "Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod ( https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search ) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

I was angry at God, the Universe, Mother Nature, Everything! after my TFMR. My spiritual life was turned upside down after going through ending a wanted pregnancy. The diagnosis, the decision, the termination - it ripped my heart and soul into a thousand pieces. In this episode I talk about my spiritual recovery after TFMR, what that looked like, what you may experience as well, what to expect after a termination for medical reasons.

Listen in if you are wondering how to heal spiritually, if your soul feels wounded after losing a baby in such a heartbreaking and misunderstood way. It can shine some light on what you are going through and give you some hope that you too can recover after terminating a wanted pregnancy.

In this 3-part series, I'm sharing how we *really* heal - physically, emotionally, and spiritually after TFMR.

Part 1 (previous episode) - Physical Recovery

Part 2 (previous episode) - Emotional Recovery

Part 3 (THIS EPISODE) - Spiritual Recovery

TODAY: What to expect with spirituall healing after termination │Layers of Recovery after TFMR (Day 3 of 3)

And for more care and support through your own recovery, you are invited to our small group, next rounds of Ascend TFMR Grief Circle now open. We have a spot for you: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/ascend-apply - the next groups are starting October 11th (Noon Eastern time) and October 14th (7pm Eastern time)

If you want to join in the live streams of these episodes we are in the Facebook group “Our TFMR Stories” - to become a free member join us here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup

🎙 Want to share your story on the podcast? Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit: "Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod ( https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search ) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Baby loss, let alone TFMR!, is rarely talked about so of course you may feel in the dark about what your emotional healing and recovery may look like afterwards. Many of the distressing and hard emotions of termination pregnancy loss - guilt, what-ifs, despair, exhaustion, jealousy - may feel shocking and like they are coming at you all at once and all together. In this episode I gently detangle where and why you may be feeling what you are after ending a wanted pregnancy and how to move towards emotional recovery.

I also talk about why acknowledging and caring for the toughest emotions is a KEY first step in your healing after TFMR.

In this 3-part series, I'm sharing how we *really* heal - physically, emotionally, and spiritually after TFMR.

Part 1 (previous episode) - Physical Recovery

Part 2 (TODAY'S EPISODE) - Emotional Recovery

Part 3 (Thurs. Sept. 24th) - Spiritual Recovery

TODAY: What to expect with emotional healing after termination │Layers of Recovery after TFMR (Day 2 of 3)

And for more care and support through your own recovery, you are invited to our small group, next rounds of Ascend TFMR Grief Circle now open. We have a spot for you: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/ascend-apply - the next groups are starting October 11th (Noon Eastern time) and October 14th (7pm Eastern time)

If you want to join in the live streams of these episodes we are in the Facebook group “Our TFMR Stories” - to become a free member join us here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup

🎙 Want to share your story on the podcast? Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit: "Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod ( https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search ) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

We’re sharing what we wished someone would have told us about what to expect healing-wise after your TFMR. I’m listing out all the physical affects of ending a wanted pregnancy and reading stories from the group about their physical recover after termination baby loss.

'Cause I know for me the "call if the bleeding is heavier than a period" and nothing more was NOT enough info. We deserve SOOOO much better.

So in this 3-part series, I'm sharing how we *really* heal - physically, emotionally and spiritually after TFMR.

Part 1 (this episode) - Physical Recovery

Part 2 (Wed. Sept. 23rd) - Emotional Recovery

Part 3 (Thurs. Sept. 24th) - Spiritual Recovery

TODAY: What to expect with physical healing after termination │Layers of Recovery after TFMR (Day 1 of 3)

And for more care and support through your own recovery, you are invited to our small group, next rounds of Ascend TFMR Grief Circle now open. We have a spot for you: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/ascend-apply - some of the information was cut off in this recording since I was streaming live, but the next groups are starting October 11th (Noon Eastern time) and October 14th (7pm Eastern time)

If you want to join in the live streams of these episodes we are in the Facebook group “Our TFMR Stories” - to become a free member join us here: Join Facebook TFMR support group

Other links mentioned:

FOR HELP PACKING/PREPARING FOR A TFMR

https://www.messypregnancy.com/post/supplies-for-a-termination-for-medical-reasons Robin Imholte

https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/birth-plans-download.html (D&E and labor plans BOTH available + packing list)

FOR PELVIC FLOOR SUPPORT AFTER TFMR

Tenae Bascherini https://www.instagram.com/tenaebascherini/

🎙 Want to share your story on the podcast? Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit: "Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod ( https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search ) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

After and within the huge decision to end a wanted pregnancy for health reasons, you have to make many many micro-decisions. And you can't know what you don't know - cue medical staff who can orient and guide us through it in the best of cases.

In this episode I share from the community about procedure & memory making options you wish the doctors/staff/social workers/bereavement midwives did or could have EXPLAINED better, or OFFERED, or SAID through the whole diagnosis/termination.

TFMR parents share their experiences with termination procedures and what they wished medical staff had explained & offered - as well as what did go right and what was the most helpful.

I also talk about rituals/remembrance items/right language that ARE offered and used at many place people have terminations for medical reasons & what was the most impactful.

To see the reviews of U.S. TFMR Hospitals and Clinics I am talking about in this episode go here: www.thetfmrdoula.com/reviews

...

And in this episode I talk about all the TFMR circles and communities I gather. You're invited to join the space that could work for you, places just for TFMR parents:

TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM:

If you're longing for intimate, ongoing support with the same small group, apply now for the Ascend TFMR Grief Circle

💜 Small, intimate groups of 5–6 people, we stay together for 3 months

💬 Real conversations, healing practices, and community support

🌿 Wed. 7pm Eastern time round begins Oct. 7th, Sun. Noon Eastern time round begins Oct. 11th

👉 Info & joining us: http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply

THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY:

The TFMR Support Sanctuary: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby. ‌

💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby & feel the strength to get through another day

💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, replays always available and JUST as powerful

💜 Month-to-month, as you need support

🌸 $55/month ‌

Join us: http://⁠www.theTFMRdoula.com/join⁠

FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:

Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you. PLUS you'll get early access to new podcast episodes just like this one and a chance to ask questions live or have your comment/story be part of an episode. All in our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle.

Witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. Share your story in our CLOSED group, and hear how others like you are getting through.

Application only, free membership: ⁠http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup ‌

🎙 Want to share your story on the podcast? Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com

Music credit: "Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod ( https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search ) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/