What does dating look like when you’ve spent years hiding who you are and how you love?

In this special episode of Odejuma, Harry is in conversation with Uche, Kachi, and Obinna, two who moved to the United States as adults and one who grew up in Houston, about dating as gay Nigerian men in America. They share how they came to accept themselves and what it has taken to let someone else in.

They talk about growing up in the church, the pressure to marry and have children, and what it means to find love with another Nigerian. Moving somewhere new doesn’t automatically erase old fears. Sometimes they show up in a glance around the room before a kiss, or in the distance between wanting a relationship and feeling ready for one.

They don’t agree on everything, including how much patience to give someone still finding their way, but they all want the same thing: to love openly, build a life with someone, and feel at home with each other.

Connect with Uche on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/uche_onwa/

Learn about Uche’s organization here: https://www.bdlinitiative.org/

Connect with Obinna on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/igwe_obinna1/

Obinna’s DJ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/djanniboglobal/

Connect with Kachi on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kachinna_/

Connect with Harry on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/harryitie

For more information on Harry, visit: https://www.harryitie.com/

Get Odejuma delivered straight to your inbox, alongside personal reflections on the episode, by subscribing to the Substack here: https://odejuma.substack.com/

Support my work: https://buymeacoffee.com/harryitie

In this episode of Odejuma, Harry speaks with Lamont White, better known as the Gay Dating Coach. A former therapist turned matchmaker and the founder of Better Way to Meet, Lamont has spent over a decade helping gay men navigate dating, relationships, and the search for meaningful connection. They push back on the idea that Black gay men aren't interested in lasting love, and explore what it means to date with intention, move beyond the fear of rejection, and find someone who embraces you exactly as you are.

Lamont also opens up about his own journey to marriage, a love story that unfolded on its own timeline and taught him a few things about readiness, trust, and choosing love. Honest and funny, Lamont challenges the stories we tell ourselves about love and reminds us that we get to write our own.

Connect with Lamont on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thegaydatingcoach/

Learn about Better Way To Meet here: https://betterwaytomeet.com/

Connect with Harry on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/harryitie

For more information on Harry, visit: https://www.harryitie.com/

Get Odejuma delivered straight to your inbox, alongside personal reflections on the episode, by subscribing to the Substack here: https://odejuma.substack.com/

Support my work: https://buymeacoffee.com/harryitie

In this episode of Odejuma, Harry speaks with Rian-Louis, host of the RIANOUTLOUD! Podcast. In this conversation, he delves into how he started the podcast in 2020 to spotlight independent Black LGBTQ+ artists and what he has learned over six years and more than a hundred conversations. He talks about the voice note that told him it mattered, the friend who talked him out of quitting, the cost of keeping a creative life running alongside a nine-to-five, and curating a new black space in Pittsburgh called Good Company. It is a conversation about how much it takes to keep showing up and the importance of archiving and documenting black queer art.

Connect with Rian on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ratedrian/

Follow the RIANOUTLOUD! Podcast : https://www.instagram.com/rianoutloudpodcast/

Listen to the RIANOUTLOUD! Podcast: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/rianoutloud/

Connect with Harry on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/harryitie

For more information on Harry, visit: https://www.harryitie.com/

Get Odejuma delivered straight to your inbox, alongside personal reflections on the episode, by subscribing to the Substack here: https://odejuma.substack.com/

Support my work: https://buymeacoffee.com/harryitie